(Closed) Fired bridesmaid – help!?!

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

No you are not crazy. This bride is being utterly ridiculous. 

Post # 3
Member
76 posts
Worker bee

That’s horrible and petty of her. Dump her!

Post # 4
Member
8451 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
charlie16 :  She’s crazy. I would be grateful to be relieved of being her bridesmaid. This would be the first of MANY crazy demands, I’m sure. So try not to be hurt, just learn the lesson that she’s a little nutty and keep that in mind in the future. This doesn’t have to be a big deal — you’re in the right, but she’s doing you a favor so it all washes out.

Post # 5
Member
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
charlie16 :  My advice: despite her rudeness, let it go graciously and maintain a respectful distance in order to save yourself future headaches, as she’s becoming family. She sounds like a piece of work. You’re not being crazy.

Post # 6
Member
30399 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
charlie16 :  She is being absurd.

I would tell her ” I was very happy to be included in your wedding party, but you knew when you asked, that I have my own wedding coming up in October. I am sorry, but I do not have any more vacation days to take this year, nor can I afford to take unpaid time off. If you are not comfortable with me having the dress altered by my own tailor, then you will have to do as you said and relieve my of my duties.”

This puts the ball (and the responsibility) clearly in her court.

Post # 7
Member
924 posts
Busy bee

The family has probably gotten used to her shenanigans and ignores her.  I think you dodged a bullet by getting kicked out.

Post # 8
Member
7440 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Sad. What’s worse is that if her behavior is accepted by her family you will most likely have many more ridiculous demands in your future

Post # 9
Member
5995 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

While I think her behaviour is a bit silly, let it go. She’s under stress for a rushed wedding. Let her do her wedding her way, and enjoy just being a guest. To be honest, it’s pretty unusual for the bride’s brother’s fiancee to be a bridesmaid anyway.

Post # 10
Member
1751 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

While the simplist, and probably most logical, thing to do would be to get out of this now, you should probably think twice about it. She IS a future in-law, and you don’t want to start out on a bad note with her. She comes from a small town, which means EVERYONE in the whole town will hear about what an unreasonable bitch you were for not being more helpful with her wedding, and only caring about your own. 

If there’s any chance you can take a day off to drive out there – or even a half day, I would suggest you do it.  While its easy to bow out of her wedding now, for the next 5 years you might have to deal with her – and potentially other family members on her side – holding a grudge against you. (Or maybe it’s just my family that holds 50 year grudges!)

Post # 11
Member
1409 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
charlie16 :  Ughhhhhh.  I shudder to think what kind of shenanigans she’d come up with for your wedding if she’s acting like this now.  Maybe as one last ditch-effort offer to see if you can pay for the tailor to do a quick measurement session on a Saturday?  Call the tailor yourself if you know which one she’s using?

My natural inclination is to tell her to go…well you know. But given that this is family and she’s (currently) in your bridal party, I would maybe make one last effort to keep the peace and then keep the hell away after October 1!!

Post # 12
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2017

This is why Bridezillas are the worst…

I mean, you don’t need to give your blessing for when she has her wedding. That’s her life and everyone gets one day so that has nothing to do with anything.

But wow she’s messed up. If I were you I would leave her wedding party before she had the satisfaction of “firing” me. Besides, bridesmaids are not employees, too many brides forget that.

Post # 13
Member
588 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I wouldn’t forget it, that’s for sure.  You’re better off being relieved of your duties, who knows what other ridiculous nonsense would be in store.

Post # 14
Member
1286 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

yeaaaah, no way jose.

 

Post # 15
Member
2229 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Your future husband doesn’t think this is ridiculous? I think he should def have your back on this

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