(Closed) Fired for getting married?!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
1292 posts
Bumble bee

If you have personal days just take them? I don’t know why you even need to tell them what they are for, TBH. 

I don’t know what type of job you have, but I know there are some industries with blackout dates where you absolutely cannot take off of work – tax firms in April, for example. I work at a school and we can’t miss graduation without some severe penalties. So it’s not unheard of. 

That said – maybe start looking for a new job if you are unhappy.

Post # 3
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I don’t know about how common this is, IMO a year is plenty of notice and more than most people give for vacations but I do not work in an office setting so I am unsure. If you are truly unhappy at your work place it is never too early to start passing your resume around and looking for another place to work! 

Post # 4
2671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
cb450k7:  I have to agree with The previous poster- without any additional context, this sounds bizarre. What industry are you in? 

Post # 5
1377 posts
Bumble bee

Sounds like this might be a blessing in disguise (although a rather shitty one). Seems like you gave adequate notice and they aren’t willing to meet you half way. There are more important things in life then what goes on at work. 

How new are you at the company? Start looking for a new job, if you find something you like, just tell them upfront the time you need off before signing a contract. On the other hand, if you get fired you can collect unemployment for a time before you start working again. 

Post # 6
9519 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

If you are askin a year out and you have the days it is odd they would decline it. Can you still get less days? Usually seniority is able to claim their vacation days first and those lower have to work around it. Is that the case here? 

Post # 7
7581 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Your headline is misleading. No one is saying you will get fired if you get married; you may, however, face some kinds of repercussions if you take excessive time off, or if your time off falls at specific blackout times. Depending on the industry and the timing, there may be legitimate blackout periods. All hands on deck and such. Or, you could just work for a bunch of jerks. Either way, it will be easier for you to figure out what to do if you exhale, relax, and refrain from sensationalizing the situation.

so. What industry are you in? Small company or large? Is there a written HR policy and/or a HR department you can consult?

Post # 8
3804 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Is there a genuine reason why those 5 days would affect the business if you took them off, or are they just being difficult? They can’t stop you from leave you have accrued unless it really is at a critical time or something. Seems unlikely with a year’s notice. If they have no good reason and they fire you for taking leave you are entitled to you can sue for unfair dismissal.

Post # 9
7637 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
cb450k7:  Are you requesting time off during a busy time of the year during which no one is normally allowed time off?

I don’t know your situation (or even what country you’re in), but in most parts of the western world they are legally required to give you a certain number of vacaction days per year. But sometimes (most obviously for school teachers) they get a say in when it can be.

Post # 10
1632 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Are there some details missing here? Because if your job responded with threats of termination or write ups simply in response to a request for time off, they’re bonkers. Even if, as some other bees mentioned, your company/industry precludes time off at certain times of year, I would expect a conversation about time off to go something like this:

You: Hey boss, I’d like to request August 1-5, 2017, off. (Or you submit your request in writing)

Boss: Unfortunately, OP, that won’t be possible due to X or Y.


I can’t even begin to understand how the word “termination” comes up in a routine request for time off.

Post # 12
4589 posts
Honey bee

I’m surprised your paycheck doesn’t state your accruals. Do you have an employee manual?

Post # 13
9255 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
cb450k7:  You still haven’t given us any real information. It kind of sounds like they have a blackout period and said you can’t take 5 straight days off during the blackout period. Is that the situation?

Also, pregnancy and childbirth are legally protected reasons for absence. DIY wedding isn’t a legally protected reason for absence. So it’s not the same.

Post # 14
7853 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It sounds as if this may be a very small business with no HR department and no published employee guidelines/manuals? If they aren’t providing you with the information re: how your personal time is accrued it’s on you to clarify and I’d get it in writing. If you are indeed insisting upon taking five days off during a known blackout period I don’t know why you would be surprised that termination is a possibility. 

If you are this unhappy and the company really is this wonky why not look for a new job now, with your wedding still a year away? 

Post # 15
1603 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I cant’t tell if the employer is reasonable or not. Maternity leave usually cannot be scheduled like a wedding.  Also, more time may be needed if health issues.

Many employers have blackout dates for vacation time. If you are working at a CPA firm and want the first week in April off, they may tell you no.  I have  a friend who is a nurse at a teaching hospital and they block out all nurse vacations the first week of new residents (I think first week in July or August, I forget).  The problem is that with new residents, they need more help from nurses and admin.  When you do not work in a place, you may not appreciate busy times. 

If you are truly underpaid, you may need to stick with this place till you can find something better.  It may be  hard to handle wedding and new job/job search. 

I do not think your employer is classless. 

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