Post # 1
I am at such a loss here. I informed one of my direct supervisors of our wedding plans and how I would need 5 business days off due to our wedding being a mostly DIY affair. I have given them over a year’s notice(wedding is in 2017) and I was greeted with threats ranging from being officially written up to full termination; No congratulations or any well wishes whatsoever from them. It was also suggested/more like pressured to change our wedding plans to suit their work schedule and pre-determined vacations. I think this is classless and unprofessional considering I have only been late to work once and I am the first one in the building on a near daily basis. I also find this ironic as the supervisor that stated all this took an extra month for her maternity leave.
They offered no options whatsoever and don’t seem willing to compromise in any way despite the fact that I do accrue personal days, which they did not even mention or remind me of how to properly utilize them. I dislike this job because I am undercompensated from the get go, communication on the onset has been poor and there seems to be no give and take; Favorable performances yield no monetary rewards or even basic thank yous. Mind you, I am aware of the poorly rebuilding economy but this is not a retail job but I am starting to think I could ask for time off easier from those gigs!
I am considering just resigning after I am happily married. If this is how they act early in the worker/supervisor relationship than I don’t think they deserve my best performances and accommodations toward them. This whole thing makes it more disheartening as I worked hard to attain this position despite me no longer wishing to work in the field. I did it because of our upcoming wedding and though I still go in positive I feel the environment is crumbling all around me.
How often does something like this happen? Can any of you relate or offer some insight? Thanks! Please refrain from cliches of “we don’t work hard to expect thank yous” as my work ethic has always been noted from all of my references.
Post # 2
If you have personal days just take them? I don’t know why you even need to tell them what they are for, TBH.
I don’t know what type of job you have, but I know there are some industries with blackout dates where you absolutely cannot take off of work – tax firms in April, for example. I work at a school and we can’t miss graduation without some severe penalties. So it’s not unheard of.
That said – maybe start looking for a new job if you are unhappy.
Post # 3
I don’t know about how common this is, IMO a year is plenty of notice and more than most people give for vacations but I do not work in an office setting so I am unsure. If you are truly unhappy at your work place it is never too early to start passing your resume around and looking for another place to work!
Post # 4
I have to agree with The previous poster- without any additional context, this sounds bizarre. What industry are you in?
Post # 5
Sounds like this might be a blessing in disguise (although a rather shitty one). Seems like you gave adequate notice and they aren’t willing to meet you half way. There are more important things in life then what goes on at work.
How new are you at the company? Start looking for a new job, if you find something you like, just tell them upfront the time you need off before signing a contract. On the other hand, if you get fired you can collect unemployment for a time before you start working again.
Post # 6
If you are askin a year out and you have the days it is odd they would decline it. Can you still get less days? Usually seniority is able to claim their vacation days first and those lower have to work around it. Is that the case here?
Post # 7
Your headline is misleading. No one is saying you will get fired if you get married; you may, however, face some kinds of repercussions if you take excessive time off, or if your time off falls at specific blackout times. Depending on the industry and the timing, there may be legitimate blackout periods. All hands on deck and such. Or, you could just work for a bunch of jerks. Either way, it will be easier for you to figure out what to do if you exhale, relax, and refrain from sensationalizing the situation.
so. What industry are you in? Small company or large? Is there a written HR policy and/or a HR department you can consult?
Post # 8
Is there a genuine reason why those 5 days would affect the business if you took them off, or are they just being difficult? They can’t stop you from leave you have accrued unless it really is at a critical time or something. Seems unlikely with a year’s notice. If they have no good reason and they fire you for taking leave you are entitled to you can sue for unfair dismissal.
Post # 9
Are you requesting time off during a busy time of the year during which no one is normally allowed time off?
I don’t know your situation (or even what country you’re in), but in most parts of the western world they are legally required to give you a certain number of vacaction days per year. But sometimes (most obviously for school teachers) they get a say in when it can be.
Post # 10
Are there some details missing here? Because if your job responded with threats of termination or write ups simply in response to a request for time off, they’re bonkers. Even if, as some other bees mentioned, your company/industry precludes time off at certain times of year, I would expect a conversation about time off to go something like this:
You: Hey boss, I’d like to request August 1-5, 2017, off. (Or you submit your request in writing)
Boss: Unfortunately, OP, that won’t be possible due to X or Y.
I can’t even begin to understand how the word “termination” comes up in a routine request for time off.
Post # 11
thanks for the quick replies. I think my request is more than reasonable. I don’t know why the word ‘termination’ would even come from them, I was taken aback. They kind of talk out of both sides of their mouth by stating we can accrue personal time but then affirm no vacation time is ever granted during specific ‘blackout dates’…however, my request comes during a far less busy time at work. I do not work in a tax office etc. so the urgency within this position is far different.
They have yet to even clarify how to properly use the accrued time; How many days I may have earned thus far, what form to fill, etc. There is no guidance whatsoever and I have inquired about that before just for my general knowledge.
Lastly, I don’t feel I am sensationalizing anything because I was threatened and outright pressured to change my wedding plans which would have me lose a lot of $ due to deposits. I find it hard to believe historically, that any one that has worked here over the years totally plans their wedding around this job. I have been informed that this particular supervisor has a history of being totally unreasonable. I am assume if I was a woman she would tell me to plan my pregancy around this place, too.
a blessing in disguise? Yeah, this is a big red flag already in addition to other, non-related things that have been in total violation of even their own protocol.
awaiting any other replies. thanks
Post # 12
I’m surprised your paycheck doesn’t state your accruals. Do you have an employee manual?
Post # 13
You still haven’t given us any real information. It kind of sounds like they have a blackout period and said you can’t take 5 straight days off during the blackout period. Is that the situation?
Also, pregnancy and childbirth are legally protected reasons for absence. DIY wedding isn’t a legally protected reason for absence. So it’s not the same.
Post # 14
It sounds as if this may be a very small business with no HR department and no published employee guidelines/manuals? If they aren’t providing you with the information re: how your personal time is accrued it’s on you to clarify and I’d get it in writing. If you are indeed insisting upon taking five days off during a known blackout period I don’t know why you would be surprised that termination is a possibility.
If you are this unhappy and the company really is this wonky why not look for a new job now, with your wedding still a year away?
Post # 15
I cant’t tell if the employer is reasonable or not. Maternity leave usually cannot be scheduled like a wedding. Also, more time may be needed if health issues.
Many employers have blackout dates for vacation time. If you are working at a CPA firm and want the first week in April off, they may tell you no. I have a friend who is a nurse at a teaching hospital and they block out all nurse vacations the first week of new residents (I think first week in July or August, I forget). The problem is that with new residents, they need more help from nurses and admin. When you do not work in a place, you may not appreciate busy times.
If you are truly underpaid, you may need to stick with this place till you can find something better. It may be hard to handle wedding and new job/job search.
I do not think your employer is classless.