(Closed) Fired for getting married?!

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 46
Member
13903 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

In your next job, you should get your benefits package clearly outlined, in writing.  Any halfway legitimate company is going to have a policy that documents PTO accruals and vacation policies.  I’m honestly dumbfounded that a company exists without one.  

Post # 48
Member
906 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

You are not “getting fired for getting married.” You may be terminated for unauthorized leave. Plenty of people get married without losing their jobs for unauthorized or excessive leave. 

Post # 49
Member
6935 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
cb450k7:  OP, you still haven’t answered a few basic questions: how much time (total) are you requesting off for your wedding? I don’t just mean the 5 days beforehand to DIY stuff. I mean, are you also requesting for time off afterwards? What kind of field do you work in? Are you relatively new to the company? 

ETA: Also, I wanted to add that every company is different and many brides DO have to work with their employers in order to coordinate taking time off for things like weddings and honeymoons or other vacations. For example, I got married this April and took off 5 days to do so (2 days before, 3 after). That was all the days I had available. Which meant that my husband and I couldn’t go on a honeymoon right away. Instead we’ve scheduled our honeymoon for September. I still won’t have enough days to cover me the entire time, but I talked to my supervisor and boss and we worked it out so that it won’t be a problem. If for some reason my boss wouldn’t have been okay with me taking off 2 weeks at that time, then we’d have to postpone our honeymoon until 2017. That’s the kind of stuff people have to do all the time when you’re an adult. Does it suck? Sure! But it is what it is.  

  • This reply was modified 4 years ago by  llevinso.
Post # 50
Member
1299 posts
Bumble bee

You are taking five days off for crafting, from what I can tell. A ton of people plan their weddings, have full time jobs, and don’t take off a whole week beforehand. I agree that it seems like they don’t communicate their policies well, but I don’t understand why you would book a date and a venue without checking if you are even able to take that time off from work.

Post # 52
Member
2171 posts
Buzzing bee

OP, i wanted to say that from what you have told us you seem to be doing everything responsibly, and your company is not. Keep copies of everything in writing (sounds like you have) and all future correspondence. I am not sure about keeping track of other employees, whether legally that would have any relevance to your case. 

I would also get in writing all the accolades you have received so you can use those to your advantage when you are job hunting. I would definitely be looking and trying to keep in good standing where you are. 

I also understand about the unpaid lunch 30 mins but doing work while on that lunch break. Are you able to leave, even to sit in your car, so you can have an uninterupted break? that’s what i have done in the past. 

Hopefully, HR or a supervisor can inform you on the PTO that you are accruing and that will sort this all out. I do not think what you have asked for, and the time frame you have given them is unreasonable for them to grant you. Not really sure why so many bees see it differently. 

*hugs* sorry you are dealing with this. good luck. 

Post # 54
Member
1299 posts
Bumble bee

I mean, this all depends on the type of place you work, if you are an hourly employee, how long you’ve worked there, etc. If you are that unhappy, quit and find a new job.

Post # 55
Member
848 posts
Busy bee

That’s total crap! A years advance notice and they are denying the request? Even if you are the only person that can do your job, these people need to learn work/life balance.

I would start looking for a new job, it sounds like you aren’t happy there anyways. If you end up still working there by the time your wedding rolls around I would give my notice a month before and be done with these loons!

 

Post # 56
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
cb450k7:  it sounds like this company is awful to work for and I think youd be better off in the long run cutting ties with them. No workplace should make it that difficult for an employee to balance work-life schedules (especially when it’s your own WEDDING!)

Post # 57
Member
1837 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
cb450k7:  Okay–so move on. Get another job. If you think everyone is so incredibly unfair and awful at this place, why keep working there? I’ll be honest though — it sounds to me as if you are having workplace issues because you fail to understand how things work. And in that case, you might keep on thinking that your supervisors are unreasonable and unfair … at any other job you might get. Your wedding is in a year; just quit and find a job that will allow you your five days off for crafting at the rustic barn venue with your European friends, or whatever it is you seem to think has to happen during those five days. 

Ah, and that reminds me — please answer the question many have now asked about whether you asked for five days total off or five days before the wedding and more time after it. At this point, given your failure to answer that question even though it has been asked multiple times, I’m starting to think that you are BSing us about this “five days off” thing — did you, or did you not, ask for more than five days off total? Are you, or are you not, taking time off after the wedding as well? 

Post # 58
Member
8942 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
cb450k7:  Because you keep avoiding the pertinent questions, we just have to assume there’s a valid reason for them denying your vacation request. If you would like advice that might actually be helpful, or even just some sympathy, here is what we need to know:

  1. How long have you been with this company
  2. What industry is it (no need for the name or super specific details, just general)
  3. How much total time off are you requesting next year
  4. What reason did they give when they said no
  5. Where are you located? You use some words that make me think you’re not American, but then you spelled it Labor, so maybe you are. This matters.
Post # 59
Member
1837 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
Daisy_Mae:  Because you keep avoiding the pertinent questions, we just have to assume there’s a valid reason for them denying your vacation request.

Exactly. I think he’s misleading us–especially with the “five days” thing. I bet he asked for more than that total and is trying to make it sound like he was denied a request for five days. But we might never know … 

OP: Answer Daisy Mae’s questions. 

 

Post # 60
Member
6935 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
cb450k7:  What about all the other questions I asked?

My point was each place of business is different. My boss very well could’ve said I couldn’t take off time in September. And that would be his right and something I’d have to work around. 

The topic ‘Fired for getting married?!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors