(Closed) Fired for getting married?!

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 61
Member
9406 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

View original reply
Daisy_Mae:  I was gonna write this, basically.  

 

OP: You keep leaving out pertinent details.  It’s pretty easy to stay anonymous without being so vague.  

Whether it makes sense to go above our supervisor or not depends a LOT on these answers.   I think you were right to contact HR, though I don’t know what you said to them but I would have simply asked for vacation policy in writing, as you were getting conflicting information.

So all I’m gonna say is: don’t panic.  Your wedding is a YEAR out.  You can take a few weeks to sort out whether or not you’re going to get your vacation time before deciding to quit your job in a shitstorm of fury.

Post # 66
Member
1604 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

CB, you seem adept at seeking enforcement of every right of yours, but totally not understanding that maternity leave is a right in many places, and is not the same as taking time off to be with friends/crafting, even if in connectio with your wedding.  tYour employer is not suggesting you might be terminated for getting married, but rather for taking unauthorized leave.

You have been asked repeatedly, is your proprosed time off during a “black out” period?  If so, how many weeks during the year are blacked out.  I seem to think that you think the company is not that busy during your proposed time, but that is not your decision. 

Post # 67
Member
2444 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
cb450k7:  I feel like I could have written some of this!  I requested off way more time then you (18 days!) because we are going on a honeymoon. I also have 23 days I can take off, so I’m not couple out of my mind…. I get married in September and I requested my time off in March (we can only request time off 6 months in advance). I’ve asked my supervisor and she just says. Oh it should be fine. But we are switching to a new system and are planning on going live right around rmy wedding date. They then mentioned that it’s going to be a black out date. They were trying to tell me I couldn’t take time off for my wedding and I told them they can either let me take my time off, or I’m quiting. I said let me know what your decision is. They approved my vacation time real fast. I’m lucky enough where I am too valuable right now to be let go! 

If you were planning on quitting anyway, then just take it off. I doubt they will actually fire you and if they do. F them. 

Post # 68
Member
5085 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

View original reply
cb450k7:  Getting married requires maybe an hour and a trip to the courthouse. That is the only time off that you absolutely NEED to get married. Having a wedding is a choice. You chose to have a wedding that requires 5 days off to prepare and that’s totally fine, but it’s not on your employer to accomodate that during a blackout period. All I’m saying is that they are not threatening termination because you are getting married, they are threatening termination because you are taking 5 days off during a blackout. 

Post # 69
Member
11398 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

As almost everyone has expressed, maternity leave is not equal to DIY wedding needs. Seriously. One is a medical need and also covers the need to bond with baby,so that we have healthier children and families which lead to healthier adults eventually . it benefits society to have mom and dad bond with baby. 

It does not benefit society for you to DIY. That benefits you. So this is a losing argument and I recommend you drop it. Simply focus in the policies at hand and how you can work within them to get time off.

Post # 70
Member
1300 posts
Bumble bee

Are you salary or hourly? If you had your wedding planned before you were hired, why didn’t you mention that in your hiring and get something in writing?

Post # 71
Member
4253 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

This still does not make a lot of sense.  I understand you are asking for 5 days off.  Do you have 5 vacation days available?

By law, you get to take vacation yearly.  What is your designated time to take vacation days?  

If there is no designated time, denying your request and not giving you another time that is acceptable is against labour laws, and you should file a claim.  But if you are given a designated period in which to use the days, then you are out of luck imo.  

Post # 72
Member
7639 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

While I wish OP would give more details, could everyone stop judging him for what he’s doing in his 5 days off? Who cares whether he’s crafting or honeymooning or sitting on his couch watching TV? The point is he is asking for 5 days’ leave and giving more than 12 months’ notice. How is that an unreasonable request? In every country I know the details about, everyone is entitled to more than 5 days’ leave a year.

OP, take if up with HR. I think you said they took 2 weeks to respond to an email once? Then phone them. And if their response is unsatisfactory, get a new job. Depending on where you live, there might also be a government department you can talk to.

But in short:

1. Yes they are being unreasonable.

2. No one can here can help unless you can provide more details, at least about what country you are in.

Post # 73
Member
11398 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
Daisy_Mae:  yes. Yes. yes. 

Post # 74
Member
1604 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

View original reply
aussiemum1248:  

 

Virtually everyone I know has “blackout dates” they cannot use vacation.  Now, of course, if the employee is sick, relative sick or dying, having a baby, etc, they get the time off notwithstanding blackout dates.   So yes, if a blackout period, which I suspect this is, the purpose does matter.  It also matters how long the employee has been there.  My mom was with her company 10 years, needed to eat into a black out period, they said OK.  

 

OP has avoided directly answering, is this a black out period? 

 

The topic ‘Fired for getting married?!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors