(Closed) Fired for getting married?!

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 92
Member
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Saint Domingue

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cb450k7:  “I hope all your family issues, medical issues, pregnancies, work accidents, and acts of God conveniently fit in with your company’s blackout dates.” 

Whoa!  What did I miss? Are you marrying God?  No?  Because that would be an Act of God, right?  And, none of the other things you’ve rattled off have anything to do with your situation.  Oh, please, please, please tell me you’re marrying God and I’m invited!  I bet he throws one heck of a wedding without a swatch of freaking burlap anywhere!  Oh, I want so badly to get on this guest list!  

Dammit!  This wedding isn’t happening, is it?  You’re just entirely lost in your own analogy aren’t you?  

Post # 93
Member
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Jeez, the combination of bitterness and entitlement here is strong. 

Bottom line is that there is an approved vacation window, but you’re trying to be a *speshul snowflake* and you’re mad that the rules actually apply to you. 

This isn’t a family emergency or a health issue. This is scheduled crafting. You are not entitled to your preferred days off just because you asked early. They fall outside of the approved window. Period. 

You mentioned that you had your date set before you took this job… And you didn’t think to mention your upcoming nuptials/ask about leave during the hiring process? That’s on you. 

 

Post # 94
Member
325 posts
Helper bee

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cb450k7:  Wowwww!! LOL, maybe you shouldn’t work at any place ever. Seriously dude…like it’s BLACKOUT times, you probably knew about these times when you accepted this job. Hell, I used to work for the government, I KNEW I could not take off a week before or week after the fiscal year started even if I let them know ten years ahead of time, the answer would be no. I could NOT take personal time during those blackout times. Now if I was sick or someone died, I could. There’s a reason why there such thing as annual leave, sick leave, admin leave, emergency leave…etc.

Obviously you know your company’s policy. If you wanted to truly know before you booked anything you should have contacted your employer and asked when is it because you’re trying to book a wedding. The fault is within you. You’re the one who assumed that you’ll be able to take time off when it was not during the pre-determined vacation time. 

You honestly should just quit, you’re complaining about how unfair everything is when it’s not unfair. It’s probably company’s policy. If you don’t agree with it, quit. It’s very simple but trying to bring HR into this…well, I’m sure they’re going to wonder why you a) didn’t talk to your people before you took this job b) if you didn’t book this wedding until you got this job, why you booked it before talking to your people c) clearly feel entitled to be an exception. 

 

Post # 96
Member
1604 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Here is what I think happened.

1.  OP interviewed for a job.  Didnt want to tell them about wedding.  Why not?  Well my guess is if there were several qualified applicants, OP would have been told NO, or would not have been offered job.

2.  OP takes job, NOW tells them about vacation.  And lets be honest, to an employer, that is all the wedding is, a discretionary vacation.   They say no.

3.  OP complains, tries to compare wedding/vacation with illness, pregnancy, act of god. 

The more OP complains, the more I thank god OP doesnt work in my office. 

 

ETA — my office has given time off during blackout dates for non FMLA stuff.  One employee had her house burn down.  Another was mugged.  Guess what, these are things that the employee did not plan.  Now I get it that a wedding is more important than most vacations, BUT you plan them.   And you shouldnt plan them during vacation blackout dates. 

Post # 97
Member
1300 posts
Bumble bee

The crazy thing is, OP doesn’t even NEED five days off for the wedding. I don’t understand what there is to do for five whole days – hang twinkle lights? Can’t you just go after work if you have the barn all week? Can your fiance/family help? 

Post # 98
Member
1887 posts
Buzzing bee

OP, please answer this question: how long have you had this job? Did you negotiate the time off for your wedding before you started working there? If you’re a new employee and you’re asking for a week off during blackout dates for your wedding, I’m not surprised they’re telling you to go jump in a lake. That’s asking for special treatment when you haven’t had enough time to prove your value to the company.

Post # 99
Member
2010 posts
Buzzing bee

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beebee1983: A few pages back he said something along the lines of, “If I were a woman”.

Post # 100
Member
2010 posts
Buzzing bee

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cb450k7: If the date was set before you started at this place then did you not mention it to them back then? Each time I started a new job when I already had a prior commitment later on down the track, I gave them a heads up that I would need to take time off from XX/XX/XX to XX/XX/XX.

That would have covered you in two ways: 1. If they still hired you and approved the leave already, they can’t later revoke it and 2. If they still wanted to hire you but told you those dates didn’t fall during the approved leave dates, you may have been able to pick a new date before putting down deposits.

You’re expecting them to be flexible but you also need to be flexible. You omitted a pretty important piece of information when you were first hired.

In addition, you say you want to use accrued time so does that mean you have already used up regular vacation days?

One piece of advice I want to give you is to ask them how the accruals are calculated…and then start tracking it yourself. Where I work, we also get time accrued (we don’t get paid for overtime and instead it goes into time in lieu which we can then use as time off in the quiet season). I know exactly how it is calculated and I check to make sure what is in the system is correct every few months. You need to take a bit of responsibilty for it. You have asked them to explain it and haven’t gotten a straight forward answer but it’s up to you to keep badgering them until you do. Otherwise you leave it in their hands to just pick any number they feel like when the time comes (eg. if you have 5 days owing but they say you only have 3 – how do you dispute that if you don’t even know how it all works?).

Post # 101
Member
6911 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

So…your wedding is during a blackout date but for some reason you don’t think those rules should apply to you…because other people get to be absent during blackout dates when they’re having babies or because they’re sick and that’s totally the same thing…riiiiight.

Post # 102
Member
41 posts
Newbee

Trying to sift through the vagueness…I’m pretty sure I work at a company that’s very similar to where OP works. We need to make vacation requests 6 months to a year in advance if we want them guaranteed, there are blackout dates, AND there are a certain number of people who can take vacation on certain days. In addition, we work on a seniority system… I have been at my company 7 years, but if there was a 5-day period that only two people could take off, and the other people who requested it had been there 10 and 15 years, I would be SOL.

Now, of course, if I were to become pregnant, get jury duty, have a medical emergency, need bereavement leave, they would figure things out…but weddings are VOLUNTARY events. I work for an outstanding company that cares about its employees…but it would be unable to function if the higher ups granted every single vacation request.

Your wedding isn’t different from anyone else’s vacation request. You are not special. And this is NOT an emergency or an act of God. It’s a wedding. And you have the wedding day off. So I fail to see what the company is doing wrong here…

Post # 103
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Ladies, clearly he is right and nothing we say will change his mind. 

Post # 104
Member
1604 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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Sukii:  If he were a woman, he would understnd why maternity leave is different from a wedding.

Post # 105
Member
2013 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

OP, what is it you were hoping to achieve by posting this? You’ve gotten a lot of constructive advice, yet you seem highly reluctant to accept any of it. Right now, it looks like you’re just seeking validation for your feelings of being oppressed. Are you interested in anything other than being told that your company should break their own policy and bend the rules for you?

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