(Closed) Fired for getting married?!

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 121
Member
4255 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

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Kikibear:  lol, you are correct.  

Post # 122
Member
99 posts
Worker bee

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cb450k7:  “HR stated, off record that other colleagues have complained about the woman supervisor for being aggressive and not properly communicating work policies and daily procedures.”

Wow. They complained about the “woman supervisor being aggressive.” Let me guess, was she also “bossy” and “shrewish”?

Post # 123
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

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cb450k7:  Your venue isn’t ‘unique’. To be honest, I’m sick of the word unique being incorrectly thrown around on this forum, that’s not unique, it’s just a DIY venue. My venue is the same. We get it for several days to decorate it. We’ll spend a day doing so before the wedding- easy, really.

This isn’t like back in the days when women had to quit their jobs after they were married, you won’t be getting fired for getting married, it would be because you took leave  at a time when you aren’t meant to. Or they just want an excuse to move you on.

Post # 124
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I was happy to read that you have gotten some resolution and it appears that you will have the time off that you want. I am taking 24 days off for my wedding. and was up front with my employer when i was hired that i would be needing extensive time off. and they agreed to the time off up front, in writing. one girl had a problem with it but seeing that she is not apart of management, she can suck it, basically. the good thing with my company is time off requests and accumulated vacation days are very clearly written into policy. have a fun diy wedding!

Post # 126
Member
99 posts
Worker bee

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cb450k7:  Then why highlight her gender in this way? Is her being a woman a relevant part of what you were trying to say when you described her as “aggressive”? 

Post # 127
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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cb450k7:  honestly I think the attitude you’ve gotten is uncalled for. In My Humble Opinion I feel that because you posted in a very eloquent and coherent manner some are offended/ intimidated by that. But whatevs keep being you! and I’m happy for you! Glad everything worked or for the time being. 

Post # 129
Member
13891 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Why is this thread still going on?  OP, you didn’t get fired for getting married.  You were warned of consequences of using your accrued vacation time during an non-approved time period, one of which could easily be termination.  It’s not a threat.  You don’t agree with your supervisor, and you went to HR to get resolution.  You got your resolution.  I don’t understand why you’re still arguing here.

FWIW, I also don’t understand needing 5 days to craft before a wedding, but that’s beside the point.  I planned my wedding while working full-time and going to grad school.  I took two days off before my wedding, and I didn’t even need both days to prepare. 

Post # 130
Member
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Do you ever find your way down off your high horse…? 

We worked through the information that we had. You said there was an approved vacation window, your wedding fell outside of it, and you were pissed because your supervisor wouldnt give you an exception (and outlined the potential consequences for taking excessive leave outside of the approved timeframe). 

From that information and your related posts, you DO sound entitled. (IDGAF what the rule is, I *uniquely* need five days to do my DIY wedding prep, so gimme!)

The update/clarification doesn’t change that. Just because they can make an exception for you in 2017 when they couldn’t in 2016 doesn’t change the fact that you think it is your right to take extended leave outside of the approved window without consequence. They’re working with you, which is great – there is a positive outcome and resolution. But that doesn’t mean that they have to, which is where your sense of entitlement shines through.

And, for the record, explaining the potential outcomes of a choice (eg termination for taking excessive leave out of an approved window) is a good thing for a supervisor to do. I know of more than one manager who wouldn’t highlight those pitfalls for you and instead just fire you once you’d failed to follow policy. 

Seems like the common denominator for your distaste is disagreeing with you. Your female manager is the big bad wolf, the bees are mean and terrible and nasty… Sounds like you want kid gloves in the real world. I hope that illusion fades for you quickly. 

Post # 131
Member
99 posts
Worker bee

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cb450k7:  Point taken, my apologies. I read your post but I didn’t see that there were two different supervisors involved. That would be a reason to differentiate.

Post # 132
Member
2011 posts
Buzzing bee

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Kikibear: I asked the same question (along with a few others) but it seems the OP only picks and chooses which posts he wants to respond to…

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cb450k7: Seriously, I’m getting really curious now. Why on Earth did you not tell them you required time off when you first took the job? That would have saved you all of this trouble.

Post # 133
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Guys. I think we have missed the point of this whole thread. This is a GUY who is fighting to take off a week before his wedding to CRAFT. 

We may need to take this more seriously. We have come acros a unicorn.

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