- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Sorry if this is a bit to read through.
Here’s the somewhat brief backstory:
I’m having a “Chewish” wedding (He’s jewish, I’m Chinese). We are do a meld of both cultures and it’s not your typical traditional wedding. FH and I had decided even before this process of planning the wedding began that we were doing it our way since we’re paying for the wedding ourselves and why not? It’s 2012 not 1912.
Everything in my planning process has been coming together nicely and falling into place, like almost all of the big things have or are taken care of. It’s been stress-free mostly. I just recently sent my people (2 bridesmen and 2 bridemaids) an update to fill them in on where I’m at with things, and suggestions needed for other things.
I’m getting my dress custom-made with traditional Chinese dress elements. it’s become a nice little process that I’ve been able to share with my FH who has been a part of since the concept for the custom dress began. I’m also getting a huge discount (like $3K off) on this custom-made dress because I agreed to participate in a fashion show my dressmaker is going to be a part of in May. Along the process of having to get this dress made in 6 weeks vs 6 months, my FH has in the last 2 weeks been recruited to stage manage the show.
I’m having a problem with one of my bridesmaids. She was the first one I had asked and over the last couple of months, I’ve been regretting asking her waaay too early. I have discovered that she is the sole reason I’m stressing out over little things.
She doesn’t respond to any of the emails I send out to my party. It was like pulling tooth and nail to get any response from her when I was trying to organize a group meet with everyone back in January/February. I was having doubts keeping her back then, but the meeting went so well, I decided to giver her a chance because she seemed excited.
The most recent thing that has me taken aback and is fueling my decision to fire her is that instead of replying via email to the recent update I sent everyone, she texts me that she’s happy that I finally found a dressmaker, but thinks that my FH should not see me in the dress until the ceremony.
I had mention previous on multiple occassions(including the group meeting in February) that we’re were going to photos prior to the ceremony and since we’re doing Chinese wedding door games, he’ll be seeing me in the dress before the ceremony regardless. Bottom-line: FH is seeing me in my dress before the ceremony and I’m okay with that.
In text mentioned above, she is mad that I “don’t care and should be ashamed“… ?????????????? I didn’t think this was still an issue with her after multiple mentions that he’s seeing the dress before the ceremony.
I was shocked! and didn’t know how to respond…I consulted with FH, who pointed out that even if we were getting married in the synagogue (which we’re not), we would have had to see each other before the ceremony to sign the marriage certificate. So, this was my response to her. It seemed like she was accepting it with a little more “education” on the matter, BUT on top of an “ok” response, she proceeds to tells me she’s “just doing my duty because someone’s got to reprimand you” (Note: she is not my maid of honor)
I have already decided to give her the boot, cuz she is the only person causing me stress in this whole process and against decisions I’ve made.
So my question to you ladies is: Should I still invite her to the wedding after giving her the boot?