(Closed) Firing my maid of honor? Help!!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
1633 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Friend, I love you, but this wedding planning thing has not brought the best out of us. I no longer want you to be Maid/Matron of Honor. Because I love you so much I really hope that we remain friends and you attend my wedding as a guest. 

Or something like that where you don’t put it all on her. She sounds like a loose cannon right now.

Post # 3
4426 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Yikes, she sounds immature and selfish. I can see why you wouldn’t want her to be a part of your bridal party. Maybe something simple but to the point:

“MOH, you seem to need to focus on your life right now and are busy. While I appreciate you accepting to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, I don’t think it’s in your or my best interest right now. Hopefully you can attend the wedding as a guest.”


Post # 4
5364 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

We are going through similar things, except reversed roles. I posted about it earlier if you care to look. I would word it exactly like curlycue said. Maybe your “friend” feels the same way and it would be a relief to both of yall. Good luck, I feel your pain. 

Post # 5
7642 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

vintagebride143:  You don’t need to do a bridesmaid luncheon. I’d let that go.

But… I was with your Maid/Matron of Honor until you got to the death of your friend. I am so sorry, (((hugs))). And what she said was terrible. 

I wouldn’t mention anything else and pin it all on that: “If you can’t support me when a friend dies, then I don’t want you as my MOH”.

Post # 7
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

i’d say, “hey i’m not going to have this drama, i’ve decided to not have you in my wedding,”

the end. short and simple.


Post # 9
1 posts

Came across this when I was searching for advice on what to do with my Maid/Matron of Honor situation. Jealousy is infuriating. You are absolutley right! You can’t help that she’s single. I caught the same crap from my Boyfriend or Best Friend when I first got together with my Fiance. She acted out in the most high school ways, we are adult women by the way. My engagement only made things worse between us. I’m ready to cut my loss of a 9 year friendship and move on. She has screwed me over in so many ways due to her jealousy. Glad to see you ended that cycle… my hearts broken but need to have that talk. This is supposed to be our happy time!  

Post # 10
118 posts
Blushing bee


senglish0410:  i second that. perfect, get right to the point

Post # 11
5878 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

vintagebride143:  I wouldn’t ditch the friendship over this.  The key thing you said, IMO, is, “she was never a needy friend, in fact she used to be great.” 

There is soemthign going on with her.  She’s under stress and being a total pain in the ass.  But I don’t think this is worth ditching the friendship.  

The bridesmaid lunch/dinner is an easy fix – just hold it without her.  (Invite her, but don’t cancel because she can’t make it.)  

Post # 12
5878 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

vintagebride143:  Oh wow, just saw the thing about her saying it’s not right that you get to have a man and a celebration.  This chick has lost perspective! 

Anyway, sounds like it’s dealt with.  Hopefully the friendship comes around one day when she can get over her insecurities.

Post # 13
1262 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

vintagebride143:  Wooooow. Her comments… holy crap. “It’s too much that you get all the typical things people getting married do. You should skip out on normal parts of life because I’m a terrible catch.”

Glad you kicked her out. She sounds like a nut!

Post # 14
1938 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

vintagebride143:  She sounds like a VERY self centered friend. Also, a luncheon is NOT a big deal and actually I think its a really good idea because these girls should know each other at least a little! Good call on dumping her as Maid/Matron of Honor.

Post # 15
2255 posts
Buzzing bee

I was all ready to pull out my ‘the wedding party isn’t hired help so you can’t fire them!’ card but after reading your whole post–I totally agree that she needs to go (which you did, so that’s good). I don’t know what’s going on with her as you said she didn’t used to be like this, but wow–very selfish. ‘I can only eat sushi?’ Who’s that high maintenance? Yikes. You have a husband and she doesn’t have a date? WTF? Is it your responsibility to make her happy in life? 

My condolences for the loss of your friend. ::HUGS:: I’m sorry that you are going through losing someone close to you. Now that you’ve taken care of this problem, hopefully that will be one less thing to stress over!

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by  MrsYokiman. Reason: I spellz baaad

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