Post # 1
We just had our ceremony/reception lunch with our parents as our only guests. It was beautiful, and perfect, and I loved it A LOT.
We put together this wedding really fast and didn’t have the resources to throw anything bigger, hence parents only. The reason was so that my dad, who has brain cancer, would see us get married.
So to include the rest of our family and friends, we are planning a “first anniversary” party for next year, which would include a vow renewal.
I’m cool with the party, but I’m afraid a vow renewal will be lame. Like it will cheapen our really beautiful, special wedding.
I am the only person that feels this way. My husband, his family, and my siblings REALLY want us to have a vow renewal. They want to see the exchange of vows, and have the party to celebrate, and experience “the joining of families” and all that.
And on the financial side of it, if we canceled, we’d be out the money for the photographer and the venue deposit that we put in months ago. I know money shouldn’t be important, but combined it’s over $2000 that we can’t get back, and that would bug me a lot.
So, for the folks who had a civil/JOP ceremony, then a bigger ceremony/party later – Was it worth it? Why or why not?
Anything I’m not considering here, one way or the other?
Post # 4
Bumping for the evening crew 🙂
Post # 5
I think its a fantastic Idea…If you don’t feel right about it then talk to your husband and see what he says.
Post # 6
I can’t tell if you would be more upset about having to renew your vows or losing the money. I don’t think renewing your vows makes your original vows/wedding any less special, unless you feel the need to do it every year for the next 60 years. I do think it would be nice for your extended families to get to see you guys exchange vows. I also think it would be ok to just have a party and not do the vow renewal.
Post # 7
Let me first say, that I am not a fan of vow renewals.
That said, I think that a vow renewal (or some kind of ceremony) under your circumstances would be beautiful and fitting. Extended famlies want to feel like they’re part of your wedding too: to experience a peice of the magic; and then party afterwards.
It won’t diminish from your incredibly special, intimate time with your Dad.
Post # 8
We had our civil ceremony first and then had the wedding reception at a later time. I think it’s a great idea, especially considering the circumstances.
Post # 9
usually i would say lame but as your original wedding was exclusive/small and your FI/family welcome a bash i say go for it
Post # 10
I am actually doing the same thing. My hubby and I did a small civil wedding because of finances. Only my parents and his brother and sister in law showed up (his dad was sick). So we never got the “wedding” so we are using our one year anniversary to do a vow renewal for the ppl that wanted to come see us exchange vows. And because we are still financially strapped it kinda helps to say vow renewal, to let go of the ppl who arent super close to us (saves us money) I don’t think its a problem if you didn’t have a wedding, but if u did it would be kinda tacky…
Post # 11
I will be eloping due to my father’s cancer, but we’re doing it alone so it’s easier for everyone invovled (we aren’t near any family, and each family is really far apart).
We thought of having a one year anniversary celebration party – but not including any vows. Just a regular old party in our back yard that I will probably have catered with Mexican food. I guess I’m quite private. I feel vows, etc are meant for the couple, but that is me. Then again I am not sure how many people would fly in for a taco, you know? Most of the really great friends are a flight away. We have to get through the elopement first, then think about all of this later.
Usually they say avoid making it like a second wedding, but a vow renewal is OK. Do you really want to just have a party with friends or do you want to go through a vow ceremony again because you think it is supposed to be part of the party?
Post # 12
I don’t feel like the vows ever need to be renewed. To me you renew things that expire, and wedding vows do not.
But that said, do what feels comfortable to you.
Post # 13
I think it’s sweet, if you both love the idea then do it!
Post # 14
I say have the party next year, but make it an anniversary, not wedding re-do. So no white dress or bridesmaids. But I agree that under the circumstances, it’s a tough call.
Post # 15
i would say do it. Honestly, the vow renewal will probably still be everybit as magical for you if you build up the aniticpation that way. I think this is a mind over matter type of thing, you should feel blssed that so many people still want to share in your day, even if its a year later. The vows you said the first time were special, and repeating them doesn’t make them any less sacred. Its important to renew promises (even if they haven’t been broken)
That being said, the reception and etc. is a lot of work to plan, so if your heart isn’t in it, its not going to be any fun! You and your husband should do what you feel is right for your marriage, because that’s more important than any family celebration.