(Closed) First contact from MIL in almost 5 months

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
7401 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would not respond.  They need to prove that they can act appropriately before I would ever consider letting them be part of such an important day as your graduation.

Post # 4
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I personally wouldn’t respond. If she was in the wrong, she wasn’t exactly apologizing for making your life hell.. it DOES sound like guilt tripping. 

Post # 7
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

She’s made it sound like it’s your fault you aren’t on speaking terms so she hasn’t done herself any favours. Ignore! 

Post # 8
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

It sounds like she’s reaching out but just doesn’t know how to talk to you. Maybe tell her you would like to have a relationship but feel very hurt and need an apology? I’m sure there are good reasons for you not talking to them but it sounds like she’s trying. 

Post # 9
5662 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

If someone caused so many issues in my life that I had to get therapy or go on ad’s I wouldn’t respond. Unfortunately people like that can’t be trusted to be genuine. Especially if this damage was done only five months ago. That’s a fairly short period of time. You  might mention it to your husband but that’s about it if you ask me! And congratulations on graduating! It’s such a great accomplIshment!

Post # 10
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Yikes! Guilt trippy much? ” I’m sorry our relationship is such…”

What the hell is that shit? How about an ” I’m sorry Im a psycho?! Want to Meet for tea?” 

Yikes. Ignore it op…

Post # 11
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

maybe she does feel a bit guilty but if they have done lots of terrible things to you that is clearly not enough to forgive her.  I am not sure what you should do though…

Post # 13
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

What does your Darling Husband think about this email? Is this her way of apologizing? Or trying to open the door TO apologize to you?

I don’t know the backstory, but for her to have no contact with you for five months and then to send what seems to be a nice email, to me, an outsider with no other perspective, it seems like she *might* be trying to make the first steps to making ammends.

Just my thoughts!

Post # 14
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

What does your Darling Husband think you should respond to the email? I vote for not responding! It’s not worth the stress and anxiety that having her back in your life will cause. It sounds like your Darling Husband is super supportive of you not having a relationship with her, so I wouldn’t go out of your way to make amends at this point. Maybe in a year or two you guys could try communicating again– it would be great if you could work something out before kids (if you’re ever planning on having them) come along so that that doesn’t open a whole new can of worms! Good luck, OP!!

Post # 15
2893 posts
Sugar bee

I would have thought it was an olive branch offering if it weren’t for the fact that she placed the blame of you two not talking all on you by saying that you are the one the doesn’t want her there – not that she isn’t being invited due to her shitty behavior (and then apologizing).  I would have your Darling Husband write the reply email, explaining that it’s him responding to her, and have him explain that until she realizes and apologizes genuinely for her horrible treatment of you she will never be included in your lives. Have him explain that the treatment was so terrible you were forced into therapy to deal with it. Put the guilt back. Have him explain that they are not invted to the graduation then return to silence. Leave it on them.

I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. The “ignore it” advice is great as well. I’m just the zero tolerance to BS type of person so the moment I smell it in my presence I have a tendancy to point it out to the person sending it. So take my advice with a grain of salt. 

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