Post # 1
I am currently 39 weeks pregnant on team green. We have an odd situation with my SIL who had her first baby this past December. She named her baby boy my father’s name! I definitely cried when I found out especially since my dad passed away when I was in high school and DH and I had chosen that name 3 years ago when DD was born. To be fair to them the name is now top 20 so totally get it. We agreed to use it for sentimental reasons anyways but now I am having some doubts. It’s game time. I need help! Here’s some more background on why we think we should be ok:
-we are not close with them
-they live in a different state
-they don’t attend our family functions like baby showers, first birthdays, etc
-they don’t attend all major family functions like baptisms, Christmas, etc
-they chose the name because they liked it not to honor someone
-they aren’t the nicest people and didn’t even say goodbye to us at Thanksgiving
-SIL has never said congrats to me on any of my babies
-if my sister named her child this we wouldn’t use the name because we see them every week and talk everyday
Post # 2
SIL in what sense? Your brother’s wife, husband’s sister, or husband’s brother’s wife?
Post # 3
Use the name. My DH has a cousin in Michigan with the same name, nobody cares. Sorry about your dad.
Post # 4
If it’s in the top 20 it’s common enough that your SIL will have to get used to many other kids having the name, and you have an excellent explanation of why the name is so important to you. I’m not sure anyone could fault you without coming off very callous to the desire you have for naming your son after your father. That is a very special namesake.
Post # 5
My sister and cousin have the same name and not for a meaningful reason. I say go for it.
Post # 6
Please use the name to honor your father. There is no reason you should not. I presume your son and hers will have different middle names, so that will be an important way to differentiate them.
In my DH’s immediate family, two girl first cousins have the same first name, and two boy first cousins have the same first name. The grandparents, aunts and uncles (and other cousins) differentiate between them by use of their middle names.
Post # 7
I’m one of two girls (out of 13 cousins) and we both have the same name, and are only three months apart in age. No biggie, especially now that we are older. 😊
Post # 8
Thanks Bees! I’ve discussed this at length with DH but need some reassurance that we’re not horrible for using the same name.
Post # 9
With all the other possible choices, I would choose another name. You could always use that name as a middle name.
Post # 10
OK, that’s the best possible scenario, in the sense that the child (a) is unrelated to your late father, and (b) has a different surname to your child.
Given the sentimental attachment, I think you should go ahead with it.
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2008 - Toronto, ON
I say if the name is in the top 20 and you want to use it, go for it. Also you don’t see them much anyway. Plus the name has meaning to you because of your late father.
Post # 12
my uncle stole my name from my mom. There are two Summers in my family. But it’s OK. It’s not an issue. There’s big summer she’s older and little summer that’s me. So we see each other at the family functions and it’s fine. Go for it
Post # 13
Totally fine. They have different surnames. You hardly see them and you have personal reasons, plus it’s a popular name. If they say anything just say that you planned that name since your father passed and its extremely special to you.
It may be different if you were all close and hung out every week.
Post # 14
I think it should be fine. My first cousin has the same name as me, and it’s never really bothered me. I think my parents may have thought it was a bit strange initially that out of all the names in the world, my father’s brother chose to give his daughter the same name as me. It’s not a name that has any particular significance to the family. However it’s never been a huge issue for any of us.
I had 2 names in mind for future kids and my SIL used one of them for her latest child, so I probably won’t end up using it now. It was a bit disappointing.
Post # 15
I 100% say use the name! 🙂