Post # 1
As the title suggests, my Fiance is really nervous about the first dance. He doesn’t like being in the spotlight, and he feels like dancing is strange at our wedding because we’re getting married in a restaurant. We have a band, though, and there will be a dance floor area after dinner, so I expect people will dance! He, on the other hand, thinks people are just going to listen to the music in the background and have cocktails and talk (we’ve hired a Gatsby-style jazz band that also does covers of modern songs). Accordingly, he also thinks it’s going to seem super weird when we do a first dance and we’re the only ones dancing.
Thoughts? Should we just skip it? Isn’t that sort of weird too?
Post # 2
We destination eloped because H feels the same way – he couldn’t do the ceremony AND be in front of people. They offered us a “dance” for our DVD and for photos, but we chose to skip it. If it’s something that can ruin the big day for him, you can skip it, or have a simple plan to start out alone and then get family or the wedding party on to the dance floor after the first chorus of the song if that helps him.
Post # 3
No one cares if you don’t have a first dance, or frankly any special dances. It’s just time they have to sit around and do nothing while they wait for your song to end (I just sat through three full songs in a row and felt it would have been rude to even walk back to my table since it was in a different room). We didn’t do any special dances but when we went to the dance floor, people ‘made’ us dance. I insisted it was only for a few seconds before we got joined or we’d have left, lol. Neither of us wants to be the center of attention – the ceremony itself was enough!
Post # 4
You could always invite all couples onto the dance floor with you when you have your dance that way he’s not in the spotlight per se! I’m going to do this with my father daughter dance just to kick off the dancing for everyone.
Post # 5
You could dance for the first minute of a song and then invite other couples to join in.
Post # 6
We didn’t do one. Neither of us were keen on the idea (particularly DH) and we don’t really have an ‘our song’ so we skipped it. No-one noticed or cared.
Post # 7
The point of the first dance is to open up the dance floor for the rest of your guests, so if you don’t have one, that will definitely ensure less dancing at your reception. It seems like a shame to have a nice live band and no dancing. The first dance is only really 30 seconds of you two by yourselves, can you recruit some friends and family to jump in after that?
Post # 8
Jumping off what PP’s have suggested, if he really doesn’t want to be in the spotlight dancing just the two of you for any length of time, you could have people join you on the dance floor for entirety of the first dance – maybe your parents, or even the wedding party and their partners? It’s your wedding, and it’s ok to be a little unconventional! “First dance” doesn’t have to mean “alone” if it’s not what you’re comfortable with.
But I agree with what another bee said, if you’re hoping for guests to dance, having some kind of opening dance is the way to do it. As the first dance comes to a close, or even a minute or two into it, your MC or one of the musicians can invite everyone else to join in. Once people are physically out on the floor, many of them will stay there.
Post # 9
We are skipping it! You might get a few comments asking why but its no big deal. Most people will just think they have missed it anyway.
Post # 10
I hate dancing, and I hate being the center of attention. But we did a first dance and honestly the pictures are some of our favorite. We just sort of ‘blocked everyone out’ and had a moment together. It ended up being a really special part of the reception.
So obviously, don’t do it if you don’t want to, but if you want to try it, you might be happy you did!
Post # 11
- Wedding: May 2018- Stan Hywet Gardens
We are skipping special dances and speeches, but we are doing a first dance.
Post # 12
We had a morning ceremony and brunch reception so that we could skip the dancing. DH is shy, didn’t want to do a dance with everyone watching. That was our compromise, because he just wanted to elope 🙂
Post # 13
We skipped it. We opened dance floor by doing the anniversary dance instead. Don’t regret it!
Post # 14
My husband was also nervous! But he said once he saw me walk down the aisle, he couldn’t imagine not wanting to dance with me, eat cake with me, and so on.
To help with the situation, dance for a 30-60 seconds and have other couples join 🙂 Good luck!
Post # 15
We didn’t have a first dance. No one mentioned it or even asked why we didn’t afterwards. The DJ just started playing music and people just got up and danced! So, I don’t think anyone noticed.