(Closed) First Date, No Kiss. Second Date…?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
6773 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

I kissed my first real boyfriend on the second date because it was obviously set up for it and I knew that was where we were going.  I didn’t actually want to (not in a don’t touch me way, just wasn’t quite ready) but I did anyway.  It was alright and at least I learned some things for when the next boyfriend rolled around.

I kissed my second boyfriend about a week in on a two week meet/date whatever you want to call it.  Drove out to Denver and took an awesome trip around the southwest.  Sooner would have been forced.  It was the absolute perfect time.  He sucked at it, lol.  We’re married now.  You’ll know it’s time when it is and forcing it doesn’t make it better – he has to be ready for it, too.

Post # 18
Member
3025 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

My fiance and I kissed on the second date.

There’s no rule. Just do what feels comfortable to you. 🙂 If you want to kiss him on the second date on the cheek (if he doesn’t), go for it. Girls can initiate too.

My fiance was shy on the first date…I initiated holding hands…hugging goodbye…and then things just fell into place.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  soymilk.
Post # 19
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

missm0392:  Darling Husband and I met online, talked for about two weeks, had a great first date but didn’t kiss (might have hugged). At the end he asked, “Let’s do this again some time?” And I said definitely.

An hour or two into our second date, he did the smoothest move of his life, pushing my hair behind my ear, leaning in, and… I turned away! He still teases me for ruining it, but I wasn’t ready yet. And then we saw a movie and held hands but I didn’t look at him the whole time. Finally at the end of the date I fiddled with my keys until he kissed me. On the 3rd date I started making out with him 30 minutes in.

Every relationship is different, but I do think, if he doesn’t beat you to it, and you’re not comfortable going for his lips, kissing him on the cheek is a good idea. And there are other ways to show interest too, like hands touching or holding, arm in arm, or leaning your head on his shoulder.

Fingers crossed for a great 2nd date!

Post # 20
Member
485 posts
Helper bee

If you’re ready for a kiss and he seems willing, go for it.  I don’t think there are any real rules about this anymore. 

My SO and I kissed before we even went on our first official date.  We were at a bar with a large group of mutual friends/coworkers (all new hires go to a month-long orientation and they set us up with housing while we’re there) and he walked me back to where we were all staying.  We ended up talking for a while, and he went in for a kiss.  I wasn’t entirely surprised he tried to kiss me, but he REALLY went for it with tongue and everything.  Kind of grossed me out, tbh.  I didn’t hold it against him, thankfully, and we ended up going on our first real date a week later.

Post # 21
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Darling Husband and I didn’t kiss until our 2nd date which was almost 1.5 months after our first. After our first he said he just didn’t feel that way about me and just wanted to be friends. (I totally tease him about this now LOL) So we talked on the phone for 1.5 months and he asked me out again. On our 2nd date, we were in the deserted area of public place and talked for 2-3 hours, the whole time I’m waiting for him to kiss me. I even have my face turned in such a way that it was a total invitation. He was so shy it took him that long to get up the nerve. But he finally did it. 

I’m so glad that I let him make the first move. Most of his previous girlfriends were much more aggressive which worked for a guy who is as shy is he is. But in the end, I think it set the right tone for us. 

OP, just enjoy this time getting to know this guy. The things is, you never know when this is going to be your last first kiss. That tension, the unknowing. I love and adore Darling Husband and am 100%  happy with him. But there is a part of me that will miss that first kiss tension. So just let things unfold naturally. You don’t need to kiss to let him know you like him. Just use your body language and show him how happy you are just being around him. 

Good Luck and ENJOY!!!

Post # 22
Member
477 posts
Helper bee

Let him kiss you!  

Post # 23
Member
4243 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Oh man…I was the queen of first dates for a while a couple years ago.  I had everything from a “nice to meet you” and no physical contact whatsoever to a full-on make out sesh at the end of first dates (I had to kiss a lot of frogs!).  My husband went in for a HANDSHAKE at the end of our first date.  I said no flipping way and went in for the hug.  He’s a damn good hugger.  I had to train him to be a decent kisser…but we didn’t have our first kiss until probably date 3 or 4.  He’s super traditional and didn’t want to push any boundaries whatsoever which is something I definitely value in a guy and which is why I went for the 2nd date…plus we had a 4 HOUR conversation over lunch, so we had the connection.

If it were the 5th or 6th date my advice would be different but since it’s only the 1st, stick with it and see where date 2 leads!

Post # 24
Member
4003 posts
Honey bee

missm0392:  My husband and I didn’t kiss until the third date, and it was at the very end of the night and we had also been talking for weeks. I actually blurted out “just do it already!” when he was hanging over me trying to get the courage to make the move. I really wondered if I was in the friend zone, but like you, he was the one to ask me out again so I put that thought out of my head. I wouldn’t think too much about it and just go at his pace unless you’re feeling ballsy enough to go for it yourself. My husband was just trying to get to know me (we met online also) and wasn’t in a rush to get physical even though we both reallllly liked each other. Looking back, I really appreciate how sweet he was even though at the time I was like what.the.hell. 

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