(Closed) First deployment 😢

posted 4 years ago in Military
Post # 16
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Navygirl14:  I think when she said “when you are with someone who is in the military, you are just as much in the military as they are”…she was talking about how many military wives/families serve just as much as their Servicemember, because of all the sacrifices they make during deployments too. I don’t think she was insinuating stolen valor. 🙂

Post # 17
1988 posts
Buzzing bee

armywifetobe:  my brothers and my sister served and one of my brothers will retire in 4 years. As much as you can’t compare, I give HUGE credit ro his wife because she also put up with the military life. Not because she loved it and wanted to be in the military, but because he liked it, chose it and she chose to support him and by default, live a military life.

She has sacrificed her career. Her family, Her friends. Sometimes when he gets orders it’s in a place where it’s hard for her to find a job in her field. Let alone find one that pays the same. When he gets deployed she has to stay home and manage the chaos of the kids on her own. And for someone who battles with depression, that is just a whole lot on her plate. 

Even my brothers and my sister agree that the price that significant others pay is pretty steep too. And they see it as a sacrifice and commitment of the whole family. But that’s just them. Different people, different points of views 🙂

Post # 19
2568 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Navygirl14 :  I think I know what the PP meant by having a spouse in the military comment and I don’t think it was meant as disrespectful.  I would never take away from the men & woman that serve in the military.  My husband and his leadership always said that the hardest job in the military was being a spouse, which honestly always sounded wierd to me…until I became a spouse to a soldier.  Now I will never in a million years say that I ever had it harder than my husband, but when your whole world, life, being, etc revolves around the military, in some way you feel very much a part of it.  

caleighsmith65 :  Hang in there!  You will make it!  My Darling Husband and I had been friends for years before we finally started dating.  He was on leave during deployment when he came to see me.  We joke around that it was first date on Monday, second date on Tuesday, and then Wednesday he left and went back to Iraq.  I look back to the craziness of what we went through during the early years of our relationship, and sometimes I wonder how we made it.  BUT, the deployment brought us closer in ways we never would have experienced if there hadn’t been a deployment.  I firmly believe there is a sunny side to everything.  Since he was deployed and phone calls were very scarce back then, we relied heavily on good ol snail mail.  I cherish those letters he sent me.  

One of my very favorite things to do while he was deployed was to make him care packages.  I took so much comfort that I could send him a little bit of happiness.  I wrote him letters daily and talked about the weirdest and funniest stuff.  Yes, he enjoyed the sappy I love yous, but my Darling Husband loved hearing about silly everyday shenanigans that I would somehow get myself into.  

I know it sounds cliche, but the best thing you can do is to keep busy and not dwell on the deployment.  It sucks.  I’m not going to sugar coat it, but you don’t have to let it get you down!  Stay busy, volunteer, dive into a hobby!  

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