(Closed) First discussion with parents @ wedding – Dad hangs up on me

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
636 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

It sounds like maybe your dad was just caught off guard by your plans because he pictured it another way.  Are you open to inviting your dad’s friend’s and priest to the wedding? Maybe that would smooth things over.  I think you should monitor the situation by talking to your mom and give your dad a chance to cool off before you talk to him again.  Maybe when you are ready you can be ready with some wedding details that you don’t feel that strongly about to ask him his opinion on so he will feel involved.  Also, are your parents contributing to the wedding?  If the are, you may want to consider his wishes a little more seriously or not taking their money.  If you are paying yourselves then all of the decisions are yours and your fiance’s, but of course I understand that you don’t want to hurt your parents…

Post # 4
6593 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I am sorry your dad is being unreasonable but I do agree with your Fiance.

Continue planning and he will come around! A lot of Bee’s suggest telling family as little as possible about the event so they can’t criticize you.

Good Luck and Welcome to the Hive!

Post # 5
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think you are a grown woman and your father is acting a little ridiculous.  When you are dealing with someone with bi-polar disorder, there is no reasoning with them when they are in one of their ‘low’ times.  You are going to have to wait until he is back to a level state and explain to him how you understand where he is coming from, but that ultimately it is you and your FIs wedding and you feel it is best if the day reflects the two of you, even if it doesn’t agree with what other think is traditional or ‘right’.

Post # 6
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Aww, I’m really sorry 🙁

I feel like I can offer some help here because my husband and I experienced a family-diving situation while we planned our wedding as well. I won’t get into it, but there was a point where some members of our family came right out and said they hated us and had no respect for us because of something so stupid, and we almost called the whole thing off and eloped. We stuck it out though, and in the end, people came around, and we had a beautiful wedding that was 95 percent drama-free 🙂

If it’s important to you to celebrate with friends and family, have your wedding. And by that, I mean your wedding how you want it. Don’t compromise, and if your dad brings it up, just say, “I’m sorry you feel that way, but we’re very happy with our plans and we hope you can put your differences aside and celebrate with us. If not, well, I’m sorry.”

It’s an awful thing to do through. Trust me, I know. But you’ll get through it. If it comes down to it being too much to handle, and having a wedding isn’t really all that important to you, you can always elope 🙂

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