(Closed) First drama with bridal party

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Wow, what a buzz kill! I’m sure you were super excited to ask her, and then she totally left you in a ditch.  You are truley a good friend for driving all that way to cheer her up!  I don’t believe in coincidence.  Maybe it is a sign that on the night you were going to ask her to be a bridesmaid she let you down.  Now maybe she is going through something tough, and is one of those people that needs to be alone when they are sad.  But she had to have known you were coming right? She could have told you not to when you told her your plan.  Do what your heart tells you, I don’t think you would be over reacting.

Post # 5
2716 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Honestly, I might cut her some slack and try and talk to her before I made any decisions.  You said she had a tough week – maybe she just didn’t feel like seeing people.  I agree it’s super rude, but let’s be honest, I’m sure there have been times where you’re depressed or in a really bad mood and don’t want to see or talk to anyone.  Not counting the surprise birthday party (which maybe she had a very good reason for not coming), does she usually bail on you?  IMO, bailing once during a tough week doesn’t seem like enough to not ask someone to be a bridesmaid.  So you are either overreacting or she wasn’t that good of a friend to begin with.

Also, keep in mind that the only thing BMs really need to do is buy the dress and show up clean and sober on the day of the wedding.  Can you count on her to do at least that?  If so, and she really is a good friend, I’d reconsider.

Post # 6
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Wow, if she knew you were coming, that’s pretty lame of her. I get that she’s having a bad time, but she already agreed to go out, and waited unti you let her know that you were 5 minutes out? Bleh. I probably wouldn’t ask her, but you can always wait and see if it was just that day.

Post # 8
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

She going through a breakup, which doesn’t excuse her acting like a jerk. But she going through a hard time, she probably need alone time.

If she has other issues then all means don’t have her. However I would think if she important enough to you to even consider asking her to be a bridesmaid then there a reason for it. Keep that in mind.


Post # 9
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

follow your heart. I’d cut her some slack given she’s going through issues with her bf. It’s obviously rude to change plans so last minute, but again she’s clearly having a rough time.

If you have zero expectations of your BMs except to show up wearing the dress you picked I say have her in it, if not you may want to forego asking her.  

Post # 10
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

Because it sounds like this behavior has happened before, I’m going to agree that you are doing the right thing in crossing her off your bridal party list and nipping any potential problems in the bud.  You read so many stories on the Bee about people with nonresponsive or flakey bridesmaids, I think you’ll be much better off without having to deal with her drama.

Post # 11
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If this is a pattern, I would consider not having her. It is just an added stress, but you have to weigh what will happen to the friendship.

I just dont understand how some people could be so inconsiderate to others.

The topic ‘First drama with bridal party’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors