First Dress Fitting…. and no one is coming with me.

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Although I haven’t gotten that far in my finding the perfect dress process, I can understand a bit from where you are coming from.  The first step I took to find a dress, I had tried to contact a few of my friends.  Only one person had responded to me, and she wasn’t able to come.  The others had ignored my texts and phone calls.  The two people I could depend on both live far away, and I had to face the inevitable.  Going against all rules, my fiance came with me because I needed the support.

Even though you may not have anyone with you at your first fitting, make the best out of it.  Take plenty of pictures and email it to those who are unable to come.  I’m sure that they would love to hear about your fitting and see your beautiful dress.  You will always have the support of your friends and family, even if they are further away.  Of course you have the support of the weddingbee community as well.

Good luck at your first fitting!

Post # 4
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I am still in search of but I’ve stopped taking my Maid/Matron of Honor and local Bridesmaid or Best Man dress shopping until I am close to buying the one.

Here’s the thing and I just blogged about this last night: some parts of your wedding are deeply personal.  It’s an exciting and memorable day: enjoy it, connect with the ladies at the bridal shop – I’ve received so much good advice and made friends with my vendors.  That wouldn’t be possible with a group of women with me. 

I completely understand being disappointed that your mom and Maid/Matron of Honor can’t be there – if it’s super important to you, would you like to reschedule?  Do what makes you feel good but I hope whatever decision you make will lead to a wonderful memory of trying your dress on the right way for the first time 🙂 GL!

Post # 5
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

Hi Chela – I think you need to tell your sister that you need her. Sometimes my sister pulls that with me – she just doesn’t realize when I need her. I could easily see her doing this to me (esp b/c I very rarely ask for help from anyone. not sure if you are the same way) and I would flat out tell her that I need her to show up. I know it’s not ideal b/c you feel like she doesn’t want to be there, but at this point who cares. You need her to be there so just ask her/make her be there. That’s whay sisters are for!

have fun tonight!!

Post # 7
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

Oh Chela, I’m so sorry you feel like she might be resentful! I guess I was hoping she’d just realize she needed to do this for you. Is there anyone on your fiance’s side nearby that can come with you? Is his mom nearby?

Post # 8
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Don’t be too upset.  I think we see all the hoopla on TV, i.e. "Say Yes to the Dress" and we begin to expect the same thing.

I picked out the dress with my FI’s godsister and have gone to all my fittings alone.

Post # 10
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Chela,

I’m sorry that you feel bad about not having anyone at your first fitting.  I am an extremely busy bride, so I actually spent all of my dress shopping trips by myself(unless you count the attendant).  All of my bridal party people are out of town, and so is all of my family.  I have a hectic schedule that causes me to make last-minute appointments, and a mother who – believe it or not – HATES to shop.  So, that all led to shopping by myself. 

Honestly, the only time I ever felt bad about it myself was when my bridesmaids mentioned wishing they were there!  I guess it’s all based on your personality.  I didn’t want to bother anyone to drag them to multiple salons on multiple trips, especially when they lived so far away.  Even though my Fiance has a sister-in-law and two stepsisters, as well as a stepmother, I just didn’t feel it would be that important to me personally.

My mother did come to my first dress fitting, but mostly because I wanted her to know what the dress looked like, since otherwise she would see it when everyone else does on my wedding day!

I think it might be helpful to consider arranging your second fitting around your family and friends’ schedules so that they might be able to come next time.  As for this one, just take lots of pictures!  I’m sure they’ll be excited to see them and sorry they missed it!

Post # 12
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

Try to focus on the positive. You are trying on your wedding dress tonight! That you love! And your wedding is at the end of the month. All good things…

I’m in the nyc area too, where did you get your dress?

Post # 13
Bee
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park

Yes! I tried on dresses a few times and went to a fitting by myself. It wasn’t a bad experience. I had the seamstress take some pictures and just took my time.

Post # 14
Member
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Like Angeldoc, I had to fit all of this in a busy schedule and most of my friends and family are out of town.  At first I felt a little wistful that there wouldn’t be a bridal bonding moment… but you know what?  It didn’t diminish the specialness of the moment to me.

I had the consultant snap a few cell phone pics just show I could show my friends, sisters and mom… but in the end, the most important part of the moment was that I felt like a bride.

Try not to compare your experience to the idealized experience of others.  Real life has it’s own challenges for all of us and rarely offers those "perfect Kodak moments".

And you know what?  We’ll all be with you in spirit and will be anxiously awaiting pics if you can get any!

 

Post # 16
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

No one has come with me to any fittings so far. I have had two and it is just me and the tailor. I might ask my Maid/Matron of Honor and mom to come to the last one to take pics and help me get excited, but I know they have better things to do.

Luckily, it isn’t that important to me for someone to be there, but if it is to you, then you need to express that to them.

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