Post # 1
We all have occasional disagreements with our SOs, and I was just wondering how you felt when you had your first one as a married person?
Were there bigger repercussions for you or was it just sort of business as usual?
I ask because while we didn’t have a fight, I was kind of bummed that Mr. DG went on his annual camping trip just 3 weeks after our wedding, and for some reason simple emotions felt so dang weighty. Whereas normally something like this would be no big deal, all of a suddent it felt big. Normally, I would have registered my dissatisfaction and moved on. Instead, I moped this weekend (though I’m embarassed to admit it!)
It was weird, so I wondered how you all felt when you had your first married disagreement? 🙂
Post # 3
Aww i’m sorry to hear about your weekend. I would have been upset to though, if my newly husband left me at home for a weekend..lol, but that’s how I am.
Actually our first fight was ON OUR WEDDING NIGHT! LOL Yea it was like 3 in the morning and we went home from our reception and we were both very drunk…and he wanted to open the wedding gifts right then and there and I said NO we have to wait until tomorrow (because his mom and my step mom wanted to be there to watch) oh man we argued all night came down to it he handed me his ring! I was soo mad! We fell asleep woke up in the moring and laughed. So that was our first fight and we haven’t had one since.
Post # 4
Wow! That is one crazy story. I’m glad it’s been smooth sailing since…
I’m just usually not like this. I don’t think I’ve moped in years! I wondered if I’m experiencing some of the post-wedding blues that everyone is talking about? I didn’t think I’d have those either, but clearly I could be wrong!
By The Way we’re date twins 🙂
Post # 5
Hey! I didn’t even notice that, haha cool!
Yea in the beginning of our relationship we use to fight so much! We’ve been together since I was 16 (I am now 20 turning 21 in Nov) but during our engagment we never fought! And now our first fight on our wedding night, typical us.
But yes maybe you are going through some post-wedding blues. I didn’t even believe there was such a thing, but I’ve been feeling kind of weird too. Like ok well the wedding is over now what? Because we are waiting like 4-5 years for children. I don’t know sorry i’m venting about myself here,,anyways maybe you were just sad that your newlywed husband took off on a trip without you? Are you moping over alot or just this trip?
Post # 6
Teehee, our first fight was a couple days into the honeymoon, on my husband’s birthday. 🙂 More about that later…
Post # 7
Um, ooo, we had one once we got home. It was when he made the “what’s the point in getting married if you don’t take my name” comment right before the wedding and i bottled it up and it exploded middle July about a month afterwards.
He thought I was being irdiculous. I thought he just trivialized our relationship in one small phrase.
You don’t trivialize the woman that dealt with your deployment sans engagement ring lol.
It just fizzled and went away. Lots of “i’m sorry you feel that way but i’m not going to apologize” and eventually it came down to him apologizing for not realizing it was a big deal and not being sensitive, and that sometimes I say things and he doesn’t get pissy so I should give him a pass and chill out. Meh, he makes a good point. It totally ruined the experience for me though and it’s still a very sore spot in my side that he even said that to begin with. I almost still wish I hadn’t changed my name, but that would just to be spiteful. Then again I can be like that =]
Post # 8
You’ve piqued my curiosity Mrs. Spring!
I’ve completed the moping portion of the program and am now moving back to our regularly scheduled newlywed program!
And EJS, I can understand your feelings… that’s kind of a doozy, but I’m glad it was well-resolved!
Post # 9
We fought on our honeymoon! Oh, it totally sucked, but we can laugh about it all now. It didn’t really feel any different, and luckily we got over it pretty quickly… it was sort of like, well we’re really in this together now so we need to work this out and move forward.
Post # 10
Oh, I didn’t really think about any disagreements being different after we were married. The longer we’ve been together the better we are at dealing with these kinds of things, of course, but also we each expect more of the other person. I don’t want to let things slide. I think that makes a difference.
Example: I’m trying to pick him up from work and I’m not sure where his new office is. I’m calling him every 5-10 minutes (because he knew what time we were meeting, but I figured maybe he got stuck talking to someone or finishing something up). I was expecting him to call me if he didn’t hear from me by X time and turns out his phone wasn’t ringing. He finally called me back after I sent him a text, which was difficult for me to do because I was frustrated driving around. Then he wanted me to meet a coworker and I was furious, hot, tired, and embarassed. That didn’t go so well.
Post # 11
we’ve had a couple minor disagreements, several on the honeymoon (we have different priorities when traveling in Europe. he is exclusively about history and particularly religous history, and I wanted to mix in a good bit of culture, wine tasting bike riding, good eating.) We got into a couple tiffs before working things out.
But having been long distance for over a year before marriage and having never lived together, I think that’s been the biggest adjustment…getting used to little things–habits, and preferences that’s been the toughest. They’re easy fights though. They must be, I can’t hardly think of examples to share!
Post # 12
One of the first gifts we received when we got home from our destination wedding was a Waterford crystal “Marriage Bell.” The attached explanation said that whenever the married couple fights, one person can ring the bell and a truce is called. My husband joked that he’s always going to be the one ringing the bell b/c I’m so stubborn and always [think I’m] right. So I left the bell on the mantle and “waited” for a fight. It took a while, but a few weeks later I finally got mad at him for something stupid and as soon as he opened his mouth to respond we both made a mad dash for the bell. He got it first and we both nearly died laughing. I haven’t had another chance to ring the bell yet…
Post # 13
MissOmally- you can’t make me laugh at work like this! 🙂
Post # 14
We had our first huge married fight this weekend – it wasn’t so much a fight as he did something he regretted and took 2 days to come clean about it, said something that hit a major nerve with me, and acted distant and angry all weekend. It was pretty awful in the midst of it, like I didn’t know what to do because I didn’t want to be around him and I couldn’t stop crying, but once he came clean and told me what happened, after the initial disappointment (it wasn’t as big of a deal to me as to him, I was mostly shocked that he thought the issue would go away on its own) I reminded him of our vows – we said “I will forgive you as we were forgiven” (a reference to God’s grace). And I forgave him, like truly let go of the hurt, and it was the most amazing thing! And then we had an AWESOME day together and I feel closer to him now than before…
Post # 15
The first month was relatively smooth, and then we had a really bad week about 6 weeks in. All the stress from work, school, family all sort of welled up. It felt awful and different and I instantly felt like a failure as a wife. I was putting some much importance on every little”married” disagreement I think it was perpetuating a negative cycle. Finally we sat down and had a big talk and now we are great. Knowing that we can communicate even through frustration, has made us even stronger… In fact I think I’ll go give him a big kiss right now! 🙂