(Closed) First FMIL drama…

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1147 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I don’t feel like it’s normal or expected. As far as I know it’s not even expected for you to include your own siblings. I wasn’t in my own sister’s wedding party.

Post # 4
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’ve always thought it was customary- my cousin’s wife asked me (I’m the closest he has to a sister) and I was a lot younger than the rest of the bridal party- I didn’t go to the bachelorette party, but then again she was 6 months prego so I dont think there was one….

If you have a wedding party you should include her, in a few years the age gap won’t seem like so much and that will be a bond the two of you have. She’s old enough to participate in all of the activities except going out on the town drinking, which is plenty for her to feel included.

Post # 5
Member
621 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am in the same boat as you are. I am not including Future Sister-In-Law in my bridal party. 

Post # 6
Member
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

I think if you decide to have a Bridal Party, then you should definitely include her..Regardless of the age difference, it would be a really nice gesture and you can still do what you want and don’t necesarily have to invite her to everything .However, it does not give your Future Mother-In-Law the right to be upset with you both and yell at your FH…That’s uncalled for and uncool.

Post # 8
Member
1232 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think your bridal party should be just that- YOUR bridal party. You shouldn’t be pressured into including someone who is not one of your close friends.

Post # 9
Member
336 posts
Helper bee

My Future Mother-In-Law got a little testy when I talked about not including my Future Sister-In-Law… :

Post # 11
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

well we werent originally going to have his sisters as BMs but then they pitched a fit, so then when I asked them, one of them said no! (I concluded she was just being a brat) they are both now in my ginormo wedding party, but it is not tradition to have fsil in it. My sister is getting married in june and her FI’s sisters are not in the wedding party.

Post # 12
Member
322 posts
Helper bee

You are going to face a lot of this, so its better to set a precendent now by being polite but firm about things being arranged the way you want it. Sounds like your Future Mother-In-Law has a lot of preconceptions about the details of your wedding, when really, she should have atleast asked you directly instead of pitching a fit to your Fiance.

Post # 13
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I didn’t ask my FSIL’s but then my Fiance asked one sister to be his Best Woman.  I said I want my ladies to be my ladies.  But then I didn’t have anyone upset at me.  If Future Mother-In-Law did care, then I would’ve been ok with it.  You may want to pick your fights but think about Cybele’s advice and consider setting the precedence that this is your wedding and your choices.

Post # 14
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I didnt ask my Future Sister-In-Law either. Its Your wedding and you should have who you want by your side!!!

Post # 15
Member
1209 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am asking my Future Sister-In-Law to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, but she is a year younger than me and is one of my best friends. If this was not the case, then I would not have her in the wedding unless my Fiance wanted her to be. I think that it is up to you who you want in your bridal party. Maybe you could have her read or be a greeter so that she is included although not a bridesmaid.

Post # 16
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Future Sister-In-Law is in the wedding, but as a groom’s attendant. My brother is standing on my side. I was not asked to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man in my brother’s wedding or to stand on his side (he’s more traditional than I am). They eventually asked me to do a reading and then included my mom and I in all the day-of wedding preparation (hair, make-up, nails, etc.)

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