First grandson/granddaughter in the family? Big deal?

posted 2 years ago in Weddingbee
  • poll: Would you want to have the first grandson or granddaughter after lots of the opposite sex in the fam
    Yes, I would want the first grandson/granddaughter. : (15 votes)
    43 %
    No, I would like to have another granddaugter/grandson like everyone else. : (20 votes)
    57 %
  • Post # 16
    158 posts
    Blushing bee

    echomomm :  reread the post. She did not say I think I will be better than everyone else. 

    Post # 17
    4602 posts
    Honey bee

    His family kind of sound like @ssholes honestly.  Or at the very least petty and superficial.

    Not once in my family that I am aware of has anyone placed more significance on one sex or the other or having the first of the certain sex.  The first grandkid on each side for each part of the family was obviously a special occurrence, but it had nothing to do with the sex nor did it make one lick of difference once babies 2+ came along.  Sure, there were favorites, but it had nothing to do sex or birth order and everything to do with personalities and who wasn’t an undisciplined little shit.  

    But maybe we are an anomaly and after having several health scares with babies in the family we take the approach of caring about health, not genitalia.  I know people do make a big deal about sex but I honestly cannot fathom why or understand that viewpoint.  People are people and special, whether they are 1 day old or 100 years old, regardless of their anatomy.  It doesn’t make one iota of difference to me.

    Post # 18
    3879 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    This all sounds ridiculous. Each child has a different personality and it doesn’t depend on their gender. Personally I think gender reveals are a bit weird in general, and in this case I would especially be trying to avoid making a big deal of gender in any way. 

    Also if you do have a boy I would keep a very close eye on the spoiling thing. If he gets treated differently and better than all his female cousins that could foster a really unhealthy mindset. 

    Post # 19
    6537 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    pumpkinwaffle :  True. However, she DID say:

    “We do want the first grandson because the attention and excitememt feels nice and to most people having “the girl” or “the boy” in the family is a very desirable and honorable thing that’s considered special.”

    “From my understanding most people would like to have the first grandson or granddaughter and it is looked at as a  positive thing that people want!!”

    So she may not think she will be better than everyone else, just that her giving birth to a son is “desirable”, “honorable”, “special” and “a positive thing that people want.” She may not have used the exact words, but it is clear she thinks this is some sort of special honor that she is glad to beat everyone else to. Which is more or less a round-about way of saying that she thinks she’s better than everyone else.

    Post # 20
    1796 posts
    Buzzing bee

     Hubbys sister has already told me they need a boy

    Then hubby’s sister needs to talk to hubby about it. Does she know that the male determines the sex of the baby?


    Post # 21
    111 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Agree with PP, all I care about is having a healthy baby.  Currently pregnant with our first (and it’s a boy), and it’s the first grandchild on both our sides, but there’s a sort of social stigma to have a boy since we’re both of Chinese descent.  But both my husband and I didn’t give a rats ass what sex our baby was, as long as they’re healthy and happy.  

    Post # 22
    677 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    I personally think it’s really bizarre and immature to place this much importance on the gender of an unborn infant. Until your child grows older, gender identity and society’s preconceptions about gender are going to matter far more to you and other adults than it does to the person you’re raising, and you’re falling right into the “snakes & snails/ sugar & spice” bullshit that’s rapidly losing its place in modern society.  Having the “first” of anything shouldn’t matter as much as just having your own healthy family… Why compete over something so silly? 

    Post # 23
    2467 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I’ve had 3 grandchildren born within the last 2 years. One of them is my first grandchild and one is my first grandson and one of them is neither.

    I love all 3 the best. Anyone who felt differently than I do does not deserve the title “Grandma”.

    Post # 27
    7903 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    It wouldn’t matter to me. 

    Post # 29
    3160 posts
    Sugar bee

    I guess I don’t understand why you’d have a gender reveal when you’ve already told Mother-In-Law it’s “70% boy” and she’s already telling everyone else. 

    Post # 30
    487 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    It’s getting easier for he bee to criticize lately.. sigh…

    There is nothing wrong with the family to wants some gender more than the others. That absolutely doesn’t mean that they will love one and neglect the other, they just have preference. Hell I do too have preference but will be happy with any gender. my sister PIL already had 6 grandniece and once my sister having a boy, they are beyond estatic and even held this party to celebrate. But other than that, they love all their grandchild equally. So it really doesn’t mean anything. Each kids will have different relations with their grandparents once they bigger, despite the sex anyway.


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