(Closed) First guest who is assuming he can bring a date… (VENT more than question)

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Yea. This is one thing about wedding planning I am not looking forward to because I also don’t plan on inviting someone’s girl/boyfriend of a month. But hopefully, he’ll be understanding and not make a stink about it. Besides, there might be other ladies there he can flirt with haha jk Good luck!

Post # 4
4824 posts
Honey bee

Many people honestly just dont know, but that doesnt make it any less annoying or difficult for you!

Post # 6
32 posts
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think may people (and in my opinion) correctly assume that an adult will be allowed to bring a guest.

Unless the invites say NO GUEST, I think you have an issue, and I’m sorry you are in this awkward position.


Good Luck



Post # 7
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i wouldnt paint yourself into a corner just yet by saying later on he might be able to bring a date.  keep to the basics, limited numbers due to venue size and no +1 unless you are in a committed long term relationship – and maybe drop a hint about any other single ladies he might meet on the night 🙂

Post # 8
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@megbon12: Yes, I agree.  I think you have a problem.  It is not uncommon for adult wedding guests to invited to bring a date.  All of my guests will be allowed a guest per the invitation.  I’m sure several will reply that they are coming alone… but, honestly… I would never invite a single friend to my wedding without accomodating a +1 for them.  Just my opinion.

Post # 10
32 posts
  • Wedding: June 2012

PS: What is a ‘serious’ relationship? 

Married, engaged, dating for more than 3 mths, 6 mths, 2 years? 



Post # 11
46645 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would get on it and respond by email quickly. Now that you this discussion has raised the thought of getting a date in his mind, I would want to clarify the invitation is  for him alone, asap.

Post # 12
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@red_rose:  We have already had to tell a few people they are not allowed to bring a date.  Fi and I were watching a football game with friends over the weekend and I mentioned that we hadn’t gotten one of their RSVPs back yet and his response was “I don’t know who I am bring yet.”  I didn’t want to shut him down in front of everyone but made Fiance call him after we left letting him know only he was invited, not him + guest.  You would think he would get it since he lives with his sister and her Boyfriend or Best Friend and the invite was addressed to Friend, Sister, and her Boyfriend or Best Friend. 

Another friend decided since a few mutual friends longtime BFs were invited (we are talking 2+years and living together), she could bring some random guy she is just friends with.  Ummm…no.  We don’t have the space or money to feed the entire city. 

Oh well…just the joys of wedding planning…

Post # 14
1986 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@megbon12: I’m of the opinion that I don’t want a ginormous wedding- and I don’t want my guests to bring their flavor of the week nor do I want to pay for them.  If this makes me a witch so be it.  I plan on doing 6 months for a serious relationship- unless they are right on the cusp (5 months or so) and then they get an invite as well.

I plan on saying specifically on our invites “we reserve n seats in your honor” or something to that effect so hopefully everyone gets it.

Post # 15
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m of the mindset that if you don’t have the budget for it, not everyone should be invited with a guest.  As the bride, I shouldn’t be meeting people at my wedding.  I think ” and guests” should have a name, as in, I know them already and I can address the invitation as such.

I think if you have enough people who RSVP “No”, then you can tell him to invite someone later.  I wouldn’t tell him you “might” beforehand though just so in case it winds up that you can’t.

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