(Closed) First Look or No First Look? That is the question…

posted 5 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 3
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@lindythomps:  I haven’t gotten married yet, but I completely relate to what you’re saying.  My fiance and I are very traditional, and we too thought that the “first look” wasn’t for us.  After having picked our venue, we’ve decided we absolutely want to do pictures beforehand because we want to be able to enjoy the cocktail hour with our guests!

Post # 4
12247 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

We didn’t do one, and I’m glad we didn’t!

We managed all our pictures just fine, and seeing Darling Husband at the end of the aisle was AMAZING!

I did, however, do a first look with my Dad. And that was very fun and I love the pics!

Post # 5
2574 posts
Sugar bee

@lindythomps:  Not married yet, but I had never even heard of this before this site. I was totally opposed to it at first, but now im not so sure.

I think this is something I would consider. SO is more of a private person and I think i would get more of an honest reaction without the crowd there ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
595 posts
Busy bee

@lindythomps:  I’ve seen a lot of “first look” photos, and they are probably my favourite kind of wedding-related photos. I’d say do it. There’s so much emotion captured in those shots that you simply don’t get anywhere else.

Post # 7
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

We did a first “not” look.  We did not want to see each other before the ceremony.  Our guests enjoyed cocktail hour and snacks while we did our photos, so there was no gap or people just sitting around waiting for us to finish the pictures.

Seeing DH’s face as I walked down the aisle was probably my absolute FAVORITE moment of the entire day.  I wouldn’t change it for the world ๐Ÿ™‚

Oh, here’s our “not” looking photo around a partition.  We handed each other a love note around the screen as our friends looked on.  Very exciting!

Post # 8
907 posts
Busy bee

@lindythomps: My very strong opinion on this:)

Oh Lord… I have so many of my already married friends tell me, “DONT DO IT” (because they didn’t do it) and they told me it is always such a GIFT for guests to be able to see your fiance’s first expression when he see’s you coming down the isle.

Ummm I am tired of doing everything for everybody else and honestly my Good friends that are honest people tell me to do it, because they didn’t and they didn’t get as many pics as they wanted too.  Here’s what people have said.

The people who say NO:

– We(the guests) want to see his first look, it’s part of the joy of weddings (sorry I don’t care about pleasing you, lol)

– It will ruin him seeing you and won’t be as special as him seeing you the first time walking down the isle (I have to disagree, IN MY OPINION, men don’t tear up because of just the way you look or seeing you for the first time, men tear up bc their future wife is walking towards them at their wedding looking beautiful) (the fact that you see him before the wedding is NOT going to change his reaction to seeing you walk down the isle no matter what anyone says)

People who say do it!:

– I didn’t get enough pics at my wedding and we were rushing to go to the reception and I wish we had gotten pics before

-That special moment of you seeing each other for the first time, will be you and his memory and yalls Only…as in you get to enjoy it alone, without everyone staring and have a moment together to embrace it, talk to each other, etc.

I plan on having a first look with my hair up and then walking down the isle with my hair down. that way it will be 2 different looks and my look will change a little bit from when he see’s me at our first glance to when I am walking down the isle.

P.S MY MOM & AUNTS ARE VERY AGAINST FIRST GLANCE…so If you decide to do it I would keep it a secret and not tell anyone…they will get annoyed…”oh why did you do that, so untraditional” I say to them…ITS ME & MY FIANCES WEDDING NOT YOURS! LOL ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
907 posts
Busy bee

@lindythomps:  I am also not super traditional.  I do want to have a veil over my head walking down the isle, because I think it is romantic, but I am having my mother and father walk me down, as I think the mother of the bride doesn’t get many kind of honors at the wedding and they both raised me, so I believe they both should get to give me away to my husband.  My mom cried when I told her she was so happy ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
9181 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@lindythomps:  I’ve read a lot of First Look threads and I’ve NEVER heard a single person say they regretted doing one, even if they were on the fence or “had to” because of photo timing.

We got my very favorite wedding photo during our pre-ceremony photos.  When I look at it, I never think “oh we weren’t married yet” or “oh I ruined the surprise” – I just think about how wonderful it was to see him and be like “we’re getting married today!!!!!!”.  Plus, you WILL NOT have any time for the two of you for the entire day and night.  It’s a pretty special few minutes to just have together…

Post # 11
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We did not do a first look and I am really glad.  I liked seeing him waiting for me at the end of the aisle.  We also had a house full of people and it wouldn’t have been very “special” anyways to do a first look.  Plus, I don’t like a lot of the first look photos that I see.  They look staged to me.

Post # 14
907 posts
Busy bee

@lolot:  Oh I love this…so romantic…so whimsical:)

Post # 15
43 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

It is definitely a debated topic but I LOVED doing the first look. For us it was important to spend the time after the ceremony with everyone so the pictures before were very helpful to get right into party mode!  All bridal party pics were before the ceremony but we did spend 10 minutes after the ceremony to take family pics.




More importantly, I wanted to comment on how your choice may impact the emotion of the day.  My husband is a very private person so we loved having the moment to share between just the two of us during the first look.  Even farther from tradition, we wrote our own vows and read them to each other first thing in the morning on the dock in the pictures, just the two of us before even getting ready (and pre-makeup timing was clutch because I bawled lol).   I will treasure those moments.  (sorry if pics are big)










But it did NOT take anything away from my husband’s face when I came down the aisle.  It’s still a special moment in itself and those are some of my favorite pics.  He is not an emotional guy but the photographer captured it perfectly when he’s looking back and then when he’s biting his lip ๐Ÿ™‚






Best of luck to you – it was such an unforgettable day for me and I wish the same for you!




Post # 16
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@lindythomps:  I always thought I WOULD do a first look, but after buying my dress there’s no way I’m doing one unless it is logistically impossible not to. As a wedding guest, I have always preferred not to wait forever on the bride & groom doing pictures, but they can always do all of the other photos first and make the photos pretty quick. The guy we’re thinking about for photographer has said that he’s willing to let us work on poses before the wedding so that we know what to do and it goes smoothly.

I completely understand the logistics of wanting to have one, but after buying that dress I just want him to get a nice long look at me in that dress as I come down the aisle.

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