- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2017
I always love hearing the points from both sides whenever this discussion comes up! This has been something I’ve been debating with myself on. My wedding is in late OCtober, and although it’s before Daylight Saving Time, I’m worried about how much sun we will have after the ceremony (ceremony is 5-5:30). Ultimately, I think I’ve decided on not doing a first look for a few reasons:
1. I know I will cry. And I am not a pretty crier. This may sound superficial, but I don’t want to be worried about messing up my makeup, dress, or anything else because I know the stress of that would distract me from the moment.
2. My Fiance is pretty go with the flow and said he doesn’t mind either way, but I can’t imagine it would be ideal for him to have the focus be on his reaction to seeing me. I don’t want him to feel like he needs to react a certain way.
3. There’s something I like about the “mystery” and romance of not seeing each other until the walk down the aisle.
4. I recognize that this is purely personal, and I hope no one takes this offensively at all, because that’s not the intention. I’m always somewhat self-conscious about how others will feel about certain ways I do things or details I’ve chosen for my wedding, and I think I’d feel that the walk down the aisle would serve as just pomp and circumstance if we’d already seen each other. It feels like it would be more for a show for the guests, rather than us meeting at the altar. I do NOT feel this way about my many, many friends who chose to do a first look, but knowing myself, I think this would be in the back of my mind, despite how ridiculous it sounds.
All that to say, I think most of my married friends chose to do a first look, and a few chose not to. I haven’t heard one on either side regret their decision. I think, as PPs have mentioned, it’s all about how you want to flow of the day to go and what you want. If you want to make sure you have plenty of time for pictures, or would just love some extra time to calm your nerves with your groom, I would do a first look. This is the aspect that occasionally pulls me toward doing a first look. If you’ve always envisioned seeing each other first when you walk down the aisle, and that particular moment is important to you, then wait.
I do not think that a first look is staged or the emotions and pictures aren’t genuine. You’re still seeing each other for the first time. And they’re still pictures from your wedding day–I don’t think it matters whether you’re actually married yet or not in them.