First Look Pep Talk Please!!!

posted 9 months ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
7083 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

This is a picture of my husband at our first look:

This is him as I walk down the aisle:

Pure joy and love in BOTH pictures. The first look does not take away from walking down the aisle. And besides all the great logistical reasons for doing a first look, it was a great moment! I loved spending time with him and our wedding party before the ceremony and we were all so happy and relaxed. It was perfect.

As for the expectation of tears…well quite frankly that may be unrealistic with or without a first look. Unless your fiancé is a crier I would put too much importance on that one aspect.

Post # 3
274 posts
Helper bee

Just a word of advice. I got married in January. The sun was set by 4:30pm. But I am an old-fashioned girl and I wanted the first time my husband saw me to be when I walked down the aisle. My photographer said she was up for the challenge of taking photos at night. And the photos turned out to be spectacular.

If you really want that walk-down-the-aisle tradition, do not compromise. If your photographer is good, she/he will get great photos regardless.

Post # 4
4427 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 1997

kygirl242 :  I agree. It is convenient for photographers to get the bulk of the photos out of the way before the ceremony, but it is YOUR decision when to see your FI for the first time. If your photographer doesn’t want to work with that, then find another. Besides, depending on where you live, there will still be light in the summertime after your ceremony, or it would be dark well before that in the winter. There’s nothing wrong with taking photos before the ceremony if that is what you want, but don’t compromise just to please the photographer. We did not see each other until I walked down the aisle, and never before and never since (and it has been 20 years!) have I seen him cry.

Post # 5
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

We did a first look and I wouldn’t change it at all. That moment of seeing each other and having a moment to just connect and calm and enjoy that few minutes was everything. We got some amazing shots (and it helped us also knock out a ton of formal pics before the ceremony, so we could actually enjoy cocktail hour!). We also have beautiful photos full of love and excitement from the first look at the altar. The feeling is different; the “first” first look, it was just just relief and calm and pure joy at seeing the other. At the altar, it was the excitement and love of “omg we are gettin’ hitched right now!!”

One of my main reasons for doing a first look (aside from just wanting to see my man and get some calm that day) was that shouldn’t he be the first one to see me in my gown? I mean, I’m marrying him, shouldn’t he get a special moment that all 100 other guests didn’t get? Not to mention, we wanted to read our personal vows in private. We felt like that was the perfect time to do so.

I loved our first look, and wouldn’t change it. I guarantee your FI will still give you a wonderful look of love and excitement when he sees you come down that aisle, even if he just saw you 2 minutes before. Your photographer is correct, that they can’t guarantee. But, PP is correct too in that your photographer will still be able to get amazing photos (just keep in mind they might be amazing but have dark backgrounds, as she/he can’t control that). In the end, do what YOU want. 

Post # 6
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Farm

I think that you and your fiance’ should make that decision. We decided that he wanted to see me walk down the aisle for the first time and not to do a first look. As another bee stated they should be able to get great pictures regardless of the lighting and should be able to work with you on that. Maybe you can have pictures of the wedding party with you and then seperately with the groom and then after the ceremony take pics of the entire party together.  I like the romance of taking pictures at sunset and at night. I’ve seen plenty of brides pictures turn out beautifully at night. Best of luck to you bee.

Post # 8
1694 posts
Bumble bee

We took the first look one step further by sleeping in the same hotel room the night before, waking up together, and getting ready together. H was the one who helped me into my dress. That moment was actually one of my favorites of the whole day and I in no way regret it. It made us feel so grounded and so connected. 

Him helping me into the dress:


And his face after:


Post # 9
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I am 1000% on team first look. 

It gave us an intimate moment just the two of us to see each other and take everything in before the ceremony. It also gave us so much time for pictures with the wedding party. I loved having this special moment of just us together before we walked down the aisle. 



And it was still amazing and special walking down the aisle. The first look was like – here we are! YAY! Let’s do this thing!!! And then the walk was like.. OMG I am coming and we’re gonne be married when I get down there. Having done the first look didn’t take anything away. There was so much antipicpate that this was the GETTING MARRIED part. I loved it – it was perfect and special. And the photos speak volumes 🙂 Just do it! 


Post # 10
1009 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I am all for it!  I want to have that special moment where we can actually talk and be with each other for a little bit and get that initial jitters out of the way so I don’t bawl like an idiot down the aisle lol.  I think it’s also great to get some pics out of the way. 

Post # 11
7083 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

farmfreshjoy :  Love that you got ready together! I think that’s the best way to do it and kind of wish we had done that too!

Post # 12
267 posts
Helper bee

I don’t know what to do about this either! My f wants to do a first look but I was leaning towards seeing each other for the first time while walking down the aisle. What to do when you want different things?

Post # 13
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016 - Presidio Log Cabin

Oh gosh, our first look was my favorite moment of our entire wedding day. I am SO glad we did it that way and had that super intimate moment before the ceremony. And the photos (and video of that moment) are some of my favorites!

Screen Shot 2017-01-25 at 5.55.38 PM

Screen Shot 2017-01-25 at 5.55.55 PM

Post # 15
580 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I had a first look because we had a winter wedding and it was at 6pm so really, logistically I didn’t have much choice.  

I found it really stressful to be ready before everyone, to have to get touched up again before the ceremony, my dress got dirty outside taking pictures, some people were late and so we were still taking pictures when guests arrived so they saw me before the ceremony, which was something I really didn’t want, there was no other way to do it, but it was not my favourite part of our day. 

I’m still waiting for the pictures, I’m sure they will be beautiful, but it for sure was the most stressful part of the whole day for me, unfortunately. 

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