Post # 1
Can anyone here relate to my confusion?
I love the traditional aspects of a wedding ceremony and I really, really don’t want to do a first look. The problem is, our timeline is tight, and I’m nervous about photos taking longer than planned and missing a good chunk of the reception. I really do understand the logistical reasons for doing a first look, they’ve just never mattered to me as much as the “emotional” reasons for not wanting one. Now that the wedding is two months away though, and it’s getting a bit more real, the the logistics of the day are starting to weigh on me a bit. Fiance initially did not want to do one either but lately he has said it would probably help him to not be so emotional in front of an entire church full of people. Ultimately he’s leaving it up to me.
I don’t really need the logistical reasons for doing a first look reiterated to me here, but I’m wondering if anyone did a first look and regretted it after? Anyone really NOT want to do a first look, did one anyway, and wish that they hadn’t?
I’m not really as stressed and over-thinking this as I probably sound… I realize it’s a relatively small “problem”… but it’s been floating around my mind here and there over the last several months and now that we’re coming up on our final sit-down with the photographer, I need to actually figure it out! Advice anyone?
Post # 2
doglovingbee : I didn’t do a first look and regret it. I wish my husband and I had had that moment to ourselves, not in front of ceremony full of people. I think the moment would have been more honest and less nervous, if we had done it that way. Also, walking down the aisle, I was so full of excitement and there were so many people I don’t feel I really saw his face as he first saw me in my dress.
Post # 3
knotyet : Oh interesting! I’ve been worried that I might regret NOT doing a first look only for logistical reasons. Thanks for sharing your perspective!
Post # 4
doglovingbee : we didn’t do a first loom and I don’t regret it. My husband did not want to do the first look at all. I would have quite liked to get all emotions out with just him but it I actually really liked him seeing me walking down the aisle. There will also be people who will tell you that they did a first look and didn’t regret it.
It’s going to come down to what you want. You’ll have to conprosmise on something buy only you can say what you think will be important to you, more time at the reception or more time for photos. Either way you’ll probably wish for the other. I’m in the UK and had a long reception. I still wish I had more time for photos and more time at the reception. It’s just one of those things, you’ll always wish for more with some aspect of your wedding.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2019 - City, State
I loved my first look! Took care of all formals before the ceremony and walked straight into the reception after!
Post # 6
My SO and I will definitely be doing one. It’s for the same reason as you jusr mentioned… he says he would be much more comfortable sharing that moment with only me, as he doesn’t know if he’ll get emotional or faint or whatever. Haha! He’s an incredibly sensitive and emotional man, but he reserves that kind of vulnerability for me and me alone. I would hate to lose that moment because he’s trying to hold it together in front of friends and family.
Also, like pp mentioned, you can cut photo time on half if you get your couple photos done first. More time for your party!
Post # 7
I have the opposite of regrets about doing a first look. It was one of the best parts of my wedding day and it was such a beautiful, intimate moment. We both still got super emotional when I walked down the aisle, it didn’t take away from that at all!
Post # 8
We loved our first look! We were a tiny bit hesitant about doing it, but it was a really special moment! We got to have a sweet little private conversation, be all kissy and cute together, and my hubby even asked me to twirl in my dress for him 😂 It made the rest of the wedding day so relaxed, and when I walked down the aisle, it was still special! 🙂
Post # 9
I was super, SUPER anti-first-look for the longest time. We were having a small wedding, so photos and logistics weren’t an issue. Around two months out, a flip switched, and I decided I wanted one (then fiance didn’t care either way). I’m SO GLAD we did. Like, so so so glad. Walking down the aisle is sensory overload as everyone is staring at you, so it was nice to have a few minutes together before the wedding alone. Most of the photos were a little dorky (we’re not naturals in front of a camera, ha), but one of my absolute favorite photos came from the first look. It got rid of all of my nerves and let me really enjoy the ceremony…in fact, most of the photos from the ceremony, we’re either grinning like dweebs or laughing.
Plus, one logistical issue I didn’t think about was that hair and makeup looks worse as the night goes on. It was nice to have photos while it still looked it’s best! We still did 90% of our photos post-ceremony, so for us, the first look was purely to see each other and get a few photos of just the two of us. 10/10 recommend. I think I would have really regretted not doing it!
Post # 10
I didn’t even think of doing a first look but I am totally considering it now after reading this!
Post # 11
We didn’t do a first look because my husband and I felt really strongly that we didn’t want one, and I’m SO glad we didn’t!
It was special seeing each other for the first time walking down the aisle, but I especially loved the moments we spent together just the two of us immediately after the ceremony. We were so giddy and happy that we just got married and it was so amazing to get to talk to each other for the first time that day and bask in the afterglow of being husband & wife. We’d both been nervous before the ceremony and I think we would’ve still been nervous through a first look, so spending that time together immediately after felt AMAZING.
I was also worried about the logistics of not having a first look, but we only missed about 30-45 min of our cocktail hour. We each did photos with our bridal party and individual shots separately before the ceremony, and that helped cut down on the photos to take after. We also didn’t do endless different arrangements of extended family photos though, so if that’s important to you then it might take longer.
Post # 12
- Wedding: May 2019 - Country/barn
doglovingbee : I know you were looking for those that did a first look and regretted it, but we were kind of in the same boat as you.
Initially we both wanted the first time we saw each other to be when I walked down the aisle, but we did not want a large gap in between the ceremony and reception so we finally decided that we needed to do a first look. And I’m so glad we did. It was a very special moment just he and I without all the nerves and guests. It was one of my favorite parts of the day. I think it also helped relieve some of my anxiety that I had about being in front of all those people.
Like another pp said, it didn’t take away from the ceremony in any way. The walk down the aisle was still kind of a blur for me so I’m very glad we got that time together during the first look to really take each other in and enjoy the moment.
I really don’t think you’ll regret it if you decide to do it!
Post # 13
Didn’t do one and I’m very glad, it was the right choice for us even though it meant having a different ceremony time than we wanted and dinner being a couple minutes late. We did family and separate bridal party photos before and, then we did a first touch (the holding hands around the corner shot) which was nice because we got to talk to each other and calm down a little, I did a first look with my dad which was the BEST, and then walking down the aisle was the most amazing thing. Afterwards we just had to do combined family, combined bridal party, and then we had almost an hour just for us.
Post # 14
I didn’t do a first look and I don’t regret it, but it’s not really my cup of tea anyway. 🙂
Post # 15
Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences! I try to imagine how I’ll be feeling that day and it’s just so difficult! I do like the idea of getting nicer reactions pictures if we do a first look – my photographer has to stay in the back of the church throughout the ceremony. So much to consider!