(Closed) First Look…Yay or Nay?

posted 11 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 17
1495 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I think a first look decision ultimately needs to be your own.  Either choice is perfectly fine and I know couples who have and haven’t and ALL have been happy with their choice.

I realized that whether you do a first look or wait till you walk down the aisle, that first moment of him seeing you is special and it’s the big “unveiling”.  For us, we want that moment to be private.  We really are a fairly private couple, so it made sense for us.  But, that doesn’t make our choice better.  My sister really wanted to NOT do one, and they loved their choice.  It’s a totally individual decision.

Maybe your Fiance has never seen one done or pictures?  If you feel like it’s something you would want to do, try showing him pictures and giving him reasons behind it.  But, either way, I think it’s important to listen to his reasons behind why he wants to wait.  Often that’s one of the only details that men feel VERY strongly about, so it’s important to listen to his reasons and see if you can come to a mutual decision you both feel good about.

Post # 18
744 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I wanted to do the first look for practical reasons (so we could get most of our pics out of the way before the ceremony). However, my Fiance said no way – he wants to see me for the first time when I walk down the aisle. And the more I think about it, the more I agree with him now! Eh, so the pics afterward might take a little longer. Our guests will have cocktails, hors d’oeuvres, and music to keep them entertained for that time.

Wow, I am getting goosebumps just thinking about how that moment will be! I’m definitely a “No First Look” gal now.

Post # 19
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

After much deliberation, we decided to do a first look.  I originally had the idea in my head about us not seeing eachother before the ceremony, but now I feel like it will be a special, private moment for us to see each other, and on top of all that, we’ll be able to spend a few hours getting our pictures done before the ceremony so we (and our wedding party) can enjoy the reception!

Post # 20
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I had never heard of a first look until right now.  I am torn on the topic though. I love the idea of him seeing me for the first time walking down the aisle but it would also be really nice to be able to share that moment, just the two of us (plus the photographer of course)  Plus, getting some photos out of the way before the ceremony would be nice too.  Hmmm, might need to bring this one up with the FH.

Post # 21
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

There’s only one request my Fiance has made throughout the entire wedding planning process: he wants the first time he sees me on wedding day to be as I walk down the aisle.  I would prefer to do a first-look because I think we can be more intimate and ourselves when we first see each other (as opposed to in front of 200 of our family/friends) and we would have more time to enjoy cocktail hour, but I gave in.  I didn’t push it too hard with him because he is so adamant and I think it’s really cute that he is so passionate about it. I recently realized that everything else has been about me (when he comes down to it, Fiance could care less about decor, colors, cake, etc), so the first time he sees me is ALL about what Fiance wants.

Post # 22
6610 posts
Bee Keeper

My Fiance was originally completely against seeing each other prior to the ceremony, but once I explained to him the perks, he got on board. But that doesn’t necessarily mean a first look is right for everyone. I tend to think it’s sweet when guys are such traditionalists like your man is!

Post # 23
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

My husband was a little iffy about the idea at first (but maybe not as adamant as your husband?), but we decided that it would just be more practical timing wise. And we were so glad we did it! We had to change the ceremony location THAT DAY because of weather (we had the back up planned just in case, but still, it was stressful) and we were both stressed. That little bit of time, taking pictures before hand and just getting to be together was the best thing ever and totally relaxed both of us (not to mention that we got lovely pictures). I’d highly recommend it.


[attachment=1562523,195684] [attachment=1562523,195685] [attachment=1562523,195686]

Post # 24
15 posts
  • Wedding: May 2011

My FH is the same way. He’s not superficious or anything, but just very traditional. So am I so it works out

Post # 25
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My photographer wanted me to do one but I don’t think I want to. I know they are cute but I want to be nervous coming into the church and seeing each other for the first time. I went to a wedding where the couple saw each other before the ceremony (not as a first look but they just set everything up together) and I feel like it lost a lot of its special-ness

Post # 26
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My husband and I had a first look and my walk down the aisle was just as special! My husband even got all choked up and teary eyed. Don’t tell him I told you that though! 🙂

Post # 27
1799 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@upstatebroad: If he wants to see you when you walk down the aisl then thats they way it should be i guess!!

My DH only cared about getting a limo,,,he really wanted to provide that to the party so they didnt have to drive themselves etc. so we did it (i didnt want to at the time but am sooo glad i did). He was on board with a first look though…we both knew we wanted to go straight from the ceremony to the receptio to avoid inconveinecing our guests…so first look it was.

Maybe show him some pics and write a list of pros and cons and you may be able to sway him?

[attachment=1651841,205032] [attachment=1651841,205033] [attachment=1651841,205034] [attachment=1651841,205035] [attachment=1651841,205036]

Post # 28
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

No we won’t be doing it.  I’m really not sure when it started or why.  But we are really looking forward to seeing each other for the first time at either end of the aisle.  It’s a total “moment” IMO.  Everyone is standing, the doors fling open and there I stand.  We’d rather that be the first time we see each other. 

Post # 29
1387 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Definite YAY.

Post # 30
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

we both want him to see me for the first time when i’m coming down the aisle…to me way more special! 🙂

Post # 31
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

It’s our day, so we don’t care how long afterwards we have to hold up the guests for our pics together. The first time he’ll see me on our wedding day is when I walk down the aisle!!

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