Post # 1
There seem to be a lot of sensible ladies (and gents!) here who have some life experience behind them, so I wanted to ask advice.
I have had some short relationships in the past (max. 4 months each), but this current relationship is my only ‘real’ relationship, where we are both grown up, respect and love each other. My question is, how do you know/define what love is, if you only ever experience it with 1 person? I feel honoured my SO is on the edge of proposing to me – he has had long relationships in the past and much more experience with that sort of thing than me.
So I guess there are 2 parts to my question – 1. do you just ‘know’ when it’s true love? and 2. how do you define love?
Post # 3
Hello there 🙂 First of all, love is not just a feeling so if you’re looking for the all encompassing “floating on clouds 24/7” feeling then you’re in for a serious disappointment! True love is commitment and action. True love requires a commitment in good times, bad times, and health-challenging times. The action part of love is, you have to invest in your love and relationship. Even when you don’t feel positive about your partner, even when you have all the reasons in the world to not do anything for your partner and relationship, you find you still take loving actions for the relationship. That’s true love. If you only give in ways that make YOU happy and not ways that speak your partner’s love language, then you will have a rocky relationship and the love between you will disappear.
Post # 4
@kellym83: …..I think its difficult to explain love…but honestly, when I saw Mr. 99 for the first time, I knew he was the man I was going to marry, I knew that he was strong and loyal and honest and that I had finally found my counterpart, my partner for this life in him.
Love is this ever evolving, always changing completely nebulous thing, but it can influence and affect a person so deeply that its not to be taken lightly….
First you have to separate love and romance/passion…those things may come together, but they aren’t the same thing….and as much as I love whittling away a passionate night in the big Rambo-ey arms of Mr. 99….that’s a physical expression of our love…not the love itself….
Because love is, at its nuts and bolts, the decision to stay together, no matter what, because you know you’d be crippled without this other person…
and even though he makes you nuts because he moves every THING in the house from the spot you put it, and his mother is the devil’s concubine and his father is a pompous ass who would beat you with a Bible if he could and you’d rather attempt to extinguish a cigar with your ass than spend an afternoon with his moronic rube children….you love this guy, and you’d rather be in the living room arguing with him than in Paris with a prince…cause he’d get on your nerves sooner or later anyway with all that hand kissing and thick accent…like it or love, this is your guy….
Post # 5
@Nona99: Thank you so much for that! There are days I have doubts, as I didn’t know what love (or a real relationship!) was before I met my SO, and I find it hard sometimes when things aren’t always smooth sailing. But I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else, and he has been my rock through some difficult times. I hope that he will be my one love for my whole life
Post # 6
Your post struck a chord with me – my relationship with my FI is my longest and most secure relationship. I don’t have a definition for love, but I feel each day my choice, and his choice, is to be together. I trust him and respect him and we talk through disagreements and cherish our happy, sometimes silly times.
You said it best – you don’t want to be with anyone else!