(Closed) First love–always leaves a mark on you

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Hostess
23602 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@trinity960:  It’s true.  My first love broke my heart more than I care to begin to explain, and thinking about it makes me crazy…even after 10 years of dating and 6 months of marriage to my husband.

Post # 4
Member
1512 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My first love was like that. He STILL, after over five years of trying to avoid him, tries to get in contact with me. We dated for four years, and then he left the counry for a year. I tried to get back together with him when he came back, but he had decided he had had enough of me. Long story short, I have no idea why he would try to stay in touch with me when he was the one who ended everything to begin with. Just keep ignoring him, and eventually he will fall out of your life, hopefully.

Post # 5
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My high school sweet heart left a deep mark but just before I met my Fiance he fell off his pedestool for a very good reason ( left his fam and kids for another woman) I still keep in touch and he JUST contacted me again…randomly, I keep my distance out of respect for my Fiance but he ( the ex) just doesnt do a thing for me. He will always have a fond place in my memories but nothing nore than that. I see no problem with keepiong in touch with him ( he used to call me when he was with the wife he left and profess his love to me but I just rolled my eyes at it and it stopped) and my Fi knows everything and until it bothers Fiance ( and it may soon and I am ok with cutting freindship ties) as long as I am comfortable with it…meh why not?

Post # 6
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

So, so true. My “first love” was a pretty complicated ordeal. We were “preschool sweethearts,” dated in high school like went to prom together and all that, and then he randomly would text or call in college in the beginning until he realized Darling Husband and I were serious. Haven’t heard from him in a few years, but when I see a post on FB from him it still is an odd feeling for sure.

Post # 7
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

There is just something about first loves. And maybe for it is strange timing or it might just be something you overanalyze. I dated mine from 7th-10th grade and then off and on until I met Darling Husband. He was even the last person I went on a date with before I went out with Darling Husband and was at a party we went to the night after we got engaged. We have distant mutual friends but my friends did the whole cake and champagne thing for us so it was strange to celebrate with him as well.

Post # 8
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Maybe I’m going to be the odd one out and say that while my first love definitely impacted me and taught me about relationships, I don’t really think of him fondly/nostagically/wonder what might have been.

We dated from junior year of high school through sophomore year of college, and I think by the end I was kind of fed up and ready to make a clean break. We don’t talk at all–we’re not even facebook friends. We actually both attended a friend’s wedding 2 summers ago and managed to completely avoid each other, though I did spend some time catching up with his mom!

I feel like I learned a lot from that relationship (and all of my other previous relationships) but truthfully, I never even really think of him.

Post # 9
Hostess
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My first love definitely broke my heart, but that relationship taught me a lot. Now, like 8 years later or whatever, we’re still friends. We don’t talk a ton, but we have this uncanny ability to understand one another even though our lives are very different now. We both attribute this to the fact that we were really close at a pivotal time in our lives (16-20ish) and went though sort of a lot of stuff for being teenagers. 

He knows my husband, and the few times they’ve met (we live really far away) they get along pretty well. I think I’ll always care about him, but I also am really glad it didn’t work out between us! We were really different and I think we wanted very different things (judging by our lives now) and I honestly think I wouldn’t have lived up to my potential professionally if we had worked out. 

Darling Husband, on the other hand, is my perfect compliment. Our little family really makes me feel like I’m home anywhere in the world. He’s my best friend, and the funniest person I know. : )

Post # 10
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I still internet stalk my ex sometimes… and by that I mean the odd google search out of curiosity. We’ve never tried to contact each other since the break up. Well, not entirely true. He broke up with me, it really messed me up! He was all “you’re fantastic, you’re going to find someone great”, and I was all “no I’m not!”. Then he messaged me out of the blue one day, telling me that he appreciated me more now, that I had always been there for him and that I always would be. I told him he was wrong (maybe I’m just always contrary! haha) and that after he broke up with me I definitely did not feel like I was “there for him”.

My google searches just confirmed that I was lucky he broke it off. I am 100 million times happier with my Darling Husband. My first love left a mark on me, but I’m not sure what it was exactly, hahaha.

Post # 11
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

My first love and I broke up after two years a few months into college.  When I dated other guys, I always used to wonder what might have been, and I compared my relationship to what I had had with my first love, and I still couldn’t think about him without my heart doing funny things.  We didn’t have much contact, but just occasionally, I’d see something on Facebook…

Four and a half years after our breakup, we decided to meet up again… and I ended up marrying him two months ago.  So yeah, my first love left a mark.  🙂

Post # 12
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@trinity960:  

My friend had her ex boyfriend turn down a sports scholarship to follow her to a much smaller school hours from home, and then dated her roommate.  It is a little wierder that your ex is doing this five years later, but I wouldn’t put it past him. 

Post # 13
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MM423:  I don’t think of my first love that way, either.  

I actually think more like “wtf was I thinking?” We dated from senior year of high school through senior year of college.  He was manipulative and controlling. Though I guess I have to credit him in some way because I am sure he contributed in some small way to the person I am today.

My H is true love, my best love, my last love.

Post # 14
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Even though I am head over heels for my Darling Husband I still have a soft spot in my heart for my first love. We dated in HS and went long distance for a little while. I sometimes think if it wasn’t for the long distance aspect I would probably have married him eventually. It’s funny, because I don’t think my mom is quite over him (don’t get me wrong, she loves DH) because she asks about him from time to time.

I’ve run into him randomly and we check in with each other over via FaceBook sometimes (Happy Birthdays, congrats on your wedding type of things nothing serious). Sometimes I think most of it isn’t the relationship but the nostalgia for that moment in my life – HS with no real responsibilities and the wide world of college and young adulthood waiting to be conquered – that makes me think about him.

I love my husband and wouldn’t trade him for the world but I heard that Katy Perry song (One that Got Away?) and I got all smooshy over my first love. Sigh.

Post # 15
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Lt.Columbo:  I’m glad I’m not the only one! It’s sweet to read everyone else’s stories, but when I’m totally honest with myself, I don’t really hold any fond feelings for my first love. I tend to have more of the “WTF was I thinking?” mindset as well.

Post # 16
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yes, they do. I actually never truly got over my “first love”  until I fell for Darling Husband. That is when I knew that Darling Husband was my first true love. That guy was just someone that I wanted to love. that guy was a jerk and treated me bad and cheated on me. That is not love even if I wanted it to be. Darling Husband is my one and only love and I am so blessed to have him in my life. I am so thankful everyday that I signed up for that class (we met in school). Darling Husband is my first love!!!

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