(Closed) First Meeting with Officiant Today

posted 7 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Hi Bee,

I think I am in a similiar situation.

However I’m not living together… I’m also worrying…. about meeting the priest, as I am not even familiar with the catholic religion as well, just that i was born and baptised by my parent.

However I heard that it is the Priest’s right to say yes or no whether to assist in your marriage ceremony. So you do have to be careful of what your going to say when meeting your priest.

Good luck.

Minty Bee 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Hi there – we met with our priest a few weeks ago.  We’ve been attending Mass recently at FI’s family church and really liked him. He asked us individually where we lived and when we said the same city he put two and two together. No judgment, though. He told me my clock was ticking, since I’m in my mid-30s 🙂

@MlleBrielle: How did your meeting today go?

Post # 5
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@mintylau: @MlleBrielle: A priest cannot refuse to marry you on the basis you have been living together.

You don’t really have to worry about what to say to your priest. They aren’t there to judge, just to provide premarital counseling. Now, if you say something like, “We are just getting married for the insurance, but plan on getting a divorce after a year” or “he needs a green card and so I’m helping him out but we don’t plan on staying together” then he might not agree on the basis that you aren’t planning on entering a permanent union together. But things like living together or having pre-marital sex or listening to rock and roll, those are things that he can’t call off your wedding for. Don’t sweat it! And definitely don’t feel like you have to lie or hide things. He’s there for you.

Post # 6
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@MlleBrielle: First and foremost-if you have strong feelings against having a religious ceremony- I would be honest and explain to your family you are not comfortable having a catholic wedding.

My Fiance and I are not holy rollers at all. We have not been to church for a Mass in years..me since I made my confirmation(16yrs old), him since his first communion(6 yrs old) We have been living together for 3 going on 4 years.

My mother works for the Chaplains office at 


College. The Catholic Priest she works with offered to marry us. We met him and I was nervous that I was going to be viewed as a sinner who knows nothing about the religion and be viewed in a bad light along with my Fiance. NOT THE CASE AT ALL! He was very welcoming and happy to know we were so interested in a catholic ceremony. I can’t say that yours will be, but that’s why you meet with them…to see if he is the right fit for who you’re looking for.

Tips:

1. BE HONEST FROM THE START! If not, you will be uncomfortable including when you say your “I do’s.” We let him know that we have been living together for 3+ years and do not practice our faith regularly. We are spiritual but do not attend mass etc. We informed him we are not comfortable doing a full mass and would like to keep it within 30 minutes.

2. GO IN KNOWING THERE ARE REQUIRMENTS FOR A CATHOLIC CEREMONY: No I’m not talking about knowing versues of the bible or anything of that nature. The ceremony( at least through our preiest) must have 3 readings, 1 prayer and 1 responsive prayer. You can customize your ceremony-choose the readings, the prayers, etc.

 

3. YOU WILL NOT BE QUIZZED ON YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF THE RELIGION:We were not asked how often we attend church, when the last time it was we went to church, if we pray daily-none of that. They just want to know what your religion is, what your intentions are going into the marriage(do you plan on being faithful and sticking it out through the good and bad) and talk to you about what it is you want for a ceremony.

We took a compatibility test which was really fun-Bubble sheet style! They have different ones(some for couples of different faith, some for couples that were already married before, some for couples who have children already/currently pregnant, and one for us-couples that live together) It was not intrusive. Yes there were questions about sex but they are not intrusive..all were Agree/disagree. And it;s not meant to be like “well you two arent right for eachother” Basically it will be broken down into catagories by a machine and then any category that shows strong indifferences, he will go over with you just to give advice on talking that subject over so you are on the same page. We loved it. Some of the questions were hysterical and we were joking with our Priest and he agreed that they were corky.

 

Anyways…it’s nothing to stress over..trust me..once we left I was like wow..that was fun! ahaha

 

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