(Closed) First meeting with the priest

posted 7 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My FH & I of any parish and had rarely been to mass over the past couple of years (before that we went every week).  We were worried that the church we chose wouldn’t marry us because we weren’t members of the parish but we had no problems with that… the parish we chose is very open and welcoming.  At our first meeting with the priest, we basically just covered the basics.  Names, where we were baptized, parents’ names, how many siblings we have, whether our parents are Catholic & still married, etc.  Then he told us what to expect from the whole marriage preparation process and what was required of us, such as the prepare/enrich program and a pre-cana or engaged encounter program.  We finished up the first meeting with questions about ourselves and each other… such as “What is your best attribute?” “What is your biggest fault?” “What do you like best about your parnter?” etc.  It was nothing too bad.  He also took our email addresses so he could sign us up for the online prepare/enrich survey.  We filled those out over the next few weeks then had 2 more meetings with the priest to go over them.  Also pretty painless for us and somewhat enlightening.  At our last meeting he gave us the booklet and a form to fill out to choose our readings, etc., and we have one more meeting with him in April to go over our choices and other details.  At our parish, the who process isn’t bad, but I’ve heard of others that more more demanding/strict.  It all depends on the parish.

Post # 4
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I was nervous meeting the priest too!  Especially since Fiance and live together and I haven’t been to church in… awhile. 

Anyway, I can only speak from my experience, but at our meeting, it was the priest that did most of the talking.  He was very laid back and basically outlined what we would need to get married there (basically the baptismal certificate), that the classes in his opinion were good BUT not mandatory, and the general layout of the mass.  Still, like I said, he was a pretty low key and laid back NYC priest that used to work with drug addicts, so I’m not sure if he sets the norm for priest meetings. 

Post # 6
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

First, remember that any Catholic – no matter how long they’ve “not been a very good catholic” can simply go to Confession, confess her sins, and be absolved of those sins.  Then you’re as “good” of a Catholic as someone that has been a nun for 50 years. 

Usually the first meeting with a priest/deacon is a get-to-know-you meeting where you just talk about yourselves, how you met, etc. and the priest/deacon talks about his background.  Then he’ll go through the process of getting married (he’ll need your baptismal certificates, he’ll need you to schedule a pre-cana class, etc) and he’ll schedule the church for the date.  Then he’ll probably give you a booklet with material (rules for weddings in the church and the ceremony readings for you to select).  Then he’ll set up the next meeting or meetings.

Don’t worry about hiding something or saying something wrong.  Contrary to popular belief, there’s not much that will disqualify you from getting married in the Church.  People that live together can still get married.  People that have children together can still get married.  People that have had sex before marriage can still get married, etc.  Just be honest.

Post # 8
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@totheislnds:  It’s not so bad.  Go to a church not near where you live.  When you go into the confessional, sit or kneel behind the curtain/screen (so it’s anonymous). Then say “Forgive me father, for I have sinned, it’s been many years since my last confession.”  Then explain that you are trying to make up for the past few years (don’t be nervous, priests run into the situation probably at least once per day – seriously).  Then explain the sins (you don’t need to go into detail, just the name and number of times). Then an Act of Contrition, the priest will give you a penance and maybe will have something to say to help you, and finally will offer Christ’s absolution.  And you’re done.  5 minutes.

If you need help identifying sins, go through the Commandments.  Not going to confession in the last year is one that you’ll mention and missing Mass is another that you’ll mention. 

The only time you’ll run into a snag is if you did something that resulted in latae sentiae excommunication (there are 8 cases for this only 5 apply to non-clergy:  joining another religion or renouncing Catholicism, abusing the Eucharist, using physical violence against the pope, obtaining or assisting to obtain an abortion, or becoming a Freemason).  Those can be absolved, but you need to confess to a priest specifically appointed by a bishop to lift excommunication. 

 

Post # 10
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@totheislnds: That’s awesome Laughing  Welcome home.

With confession, remember that if you forget something, you’re still absolved as long as you honestly forgot it.  So try to hit the major issues and don’t worry so much about trying to come up with the other ones.  Sometimes you’ll get through 2 or 3 then the priest will stop you, in which case you’re also absolved for the ones you didn’t mention.   

Post # 11
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@CoffeeHound – I had no idea being a Free Mason was considered a sin! Ya learn something new everyday, do you know why that is? Just curious 🙂

Post # 12
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I actually enjoyed our meeting with our priest! It made everything feel more *real*. Just be honest and yourselves and you’ll be fine!

I also thought my priest was going to frown on us for living together while engaged and he did acknowledge that it is against the Church’s views but he wasn’t condescending. He was very realistic about it and frankly, probably more happy that a couple wanted to be married in a Church instead of somewhere else.

Since marriage is a sacrament, I’ve found it a good “excuse” to do a little refreshing on what I know about church and the Catholic religion in general. It’s alot more meaningful to me now than it was when I was growing up.

Post # 13
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@MrsPinkPeony:  In the late 1700’s, the Catholic Church performed an investiation of the principals of Freemasonry.  At that time, the Church determined that Freemasonry taught anti-Christian principals and told Catholics not to join.  In the late 1800’s, another investigation was performed and it was declared that Freemasonry was demonic in nature and banned membership under threat of excommunication.  In response, the Masons incorporated some anti-clerical rubric into their organizations.  In 1911, the Church again investigated Freemasonry, and upheld excommunication as a result of joining.  In 1983, there was another investigation, and the demonic nature was upheld.

The masons argue that the ban is a way for the Catholic Church to control members, but Freemasonry is the only organization that the Catholic Church explicitly bans.  Other fraternities are acceptable (as long as they’re not Satanic cults). 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 15
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

i know this is an older post, but im sure it still is pretty up to par as far as how things go. So glad you guys posted, I have my 1st meeting to lock in the date in a couple days and I am/was so nervous! I didn’t know what to expect and you’ve helped ease some of my nerves.

thanks =)

Post # 16
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@blondie_bride: Hope it goes well. We just had our last meeting with the priest on Tuesday and I’m really happy with how all of our sessions went.

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