- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
Short Story: We usually don’t go everywhere together, but I’ve always gone places with him, this is our first NYE as a married couple and I’m chosing to not be there for the first time. He said it was ok, and has now changed his mind. I usually have to go by myself if it’s something I want to do unless it’s an event he deems his attendance is required (birthday, wedding, not dinners with friends).
Well..I’ve always been loyal and followed my BF/FI around to all of his social obligations, I never can expect the same. He’s always said that it was alright if I didn’t go with him, that I’m not obligated to. I never went with him out of obligation, it was always because I wanted to be ‘with him’. So I’ve become close with his friends/social circle, but the same can’t be said of mine. This bothered me heavily throughout our relationship until he went with me to a counselor one day and I saw that he legitimately has anxiety about social interactions.
I never told my coworkers about our relationship because it wasn’t that far along so it was a shock to most that when I got engaged, no one ever knew because I didn’t think the work place was the place for personal info, and I didn’t want to field questions about where he was for social events, or if we broke up what happened…etc. We’ve celebrated at least 5 NYE events together. One at a club, another at a huge hotel party, another and the same huge hotel party the following year, then a quiet house party.
Not so this year, a good friend of his was planning a similar quiet house party that I was reluctant to accept mainly because other people I’m close to aren’t attending and that we’ve celebrated most of the events at this person’s house (who I DO like).
It is acceptable in our relationship to meet each other at the event or go separately rather than being each other’s shadow. We’re often separated and socializing with different people at the same time at events.
This year.. I’ll be going to Vegas with friends. He didn’t want to go with me because his friend is having the party catered this year. wtf? His friend said she would want to go to Vegas with me too. I felt guilty for a while for wanting to go, he said he wasn’t going and that I wasn’t gonna go either which I didn’t like.
Why am I going to Vegas?? Because who knows where I’ll be next year, maybe pregnant, maybe a mother by then, may be divorced already…who knows? He said he was ok with me going before then I booked the trip to join my friends. Now something has changed and he’s upset with me for leaving him. Mind you I leave him to travel for work all the time for longer than I’ll be away this time.
So this is our first new years married.. and we’ll be apart. There could in theory be many new years together so is it so bad we won’t be together for the first one?
How will you be spending your first married new years?