Post # 1
So my due date is Nov 4…..
My husband and I have our Xmas parties in December, and a wedding the first week of January. I told him if we go to either xmas party we would likely be bringing the baby along with us, as it just seems impossible to leave her for a few hours at the age? What are your thoughts? I am a first time mom. Should we bring the baby to the parties, or just forgo both and stay home. He seems to think we shouldn’t be bringing a baby, but I’m trying to explain to him at 4 -6ish weeks, you don’t leave the baby, and people wouldn’t think it was weird.
The wedding is the first week of January. the baby will likely be anywhere from 7 to 10-11 weeks… is this too soon to leave for a few hours with the grandparents?? I have no clue what is normal/what is etiquette etc etc etc. Would love to hear personal experience….
Post # 2
You can leave baby for a little bit. You need some time away!
At that age, if you’re breast feeding, you might have been pumping a little too. If the baby will take a bottle, you just leave some breast milk with whoever is watching the baby.
I don’t think people will find it weird. You could do an hour or so here and there before your night out so you can become comfortable with the person you leave the baby with.
ETA, you’re looking at flu season, I wouldn’t take the baby with you to parties but that’s a personal preference. The baby could have your immunities but I wouldn’t be comfortable during the height of flu season. If you do bring the baby, I wouldn’t pass the baby around to a lot of people. the baby will also be in an infant carrier at that time and those suckers are heavy, but you can leave the baby in the carrier when you take the carrier out of the car
Post # 3
I don’t think people will find it weird that you haven’t brought the baby, and your husband might be right, depending on the type of party it could be too loud for a newborn. Neither option is right or wrong, it will just depend on the situation.
However I wouldn’t worry about planning ahead just yet, you don’t know how you will feel until you actually have the baby. You might not even want to go to a party!
Post # 4
It may depend on your baby’s temperment, but they’ll probably be fine for a few hours. Hubby took me out to a Valentine’s dinner when LO was about 6 weeks…she’s exclusively breastfed so we were only gone a couple hours and she did fine with her grandparents. It’s probably best to leave baby somewhere safe than to expose them to so many people during flu season….so I’d suggest either trying to find a babysitter, or forego the parties altogether.
Post # 5
This is very individual to each family and I am not sure you can decide this in advance — it will likely depend on what kind of baby you have. At that age, I didn’t leave my son for much more than an hour, as it took us awhile to establish breastfeeding.
For our son, we went to a wedding at 5 weeks of age, however just the ceremony, and he slept right through it. Breastfeeding was very frequent for us at that age, so I nursed him right before the ceremony, he slept right through (about 30mins), we chatted for a bit, I nursed him again and then headed home. It worked out perfectly. We sat at the back though, and I was ready to haul ass out of there if he made so much as a peep.
In our case, we would have skipped the xmas parties, but that is our own personal preference.
Post # 6
If it’s all local and you are feeling well then enjoy the wedding! Baby will be fine with grandparents for a few hours, just make sure to practice with a bottle ahead of time (if you’re breastfeeding) to make sure the baby will take one. I’d probably skip the holiday party though – I was still bleeding at 4 weeks and you may not be quite feeling yourself yet.
I wouldn’t bring the baby to any of these events either way though. It’s cold and flu season and you baby won’t be old enough to get fully vaccinated and a party isn’t worth getting them sick.
Post # 7
My son was born on 12 November 16. I went to a concert with my husband on 3 December leaving him for 4 hours. I went to my friends 30th birthday party in mid January leaving him for about 10 hours.
I cried in the taxi on the way to the concert because I didn’t want to leave him but I’m glad I did because I enjoyed having some time with my husband.
It’s so individual to you, you may find you don’t want to leave them or that you are desperate for a break. Either way or anywhere in between is fine. Don’t worry about what other people think or expect you to do.
I also exclusively breastfed my son. I left expressed milk each time and he was just given a bottle by Grandma. I had to take my pump out with me to the party in January but I was fine just pumping when I got home after the concert.
Post # 8
I agree this isn’t something you can decide until you know what kind of baby you have. For the first few months, my son wanted to breastfeed constantly (and hardly sleep) so I couldn’t be away from him for more than an hour or so. I also struggled getting much from pumping because of his constant feeding.
I wouldn’t have wanted to attend the Christmas parties, I would have been anxious the whole time worrying about him being hungry and feeling bad for whomever was kind enough to watch him. I was also exhausted, too tired to care about socializing.
If the wedding is baby friendly, I would have considered attending with. At least that way you could feed when necessary. Remember, this is based on a baby who wanted to clusterfeed. Your baby could be completely different!
Post # 9
For me personally, there’s no way I could have left my baby at 4-6 weeks old. She nursed like crazy and I didn’t have any extra milk saved yet. She also fought the bottle like crazy. Not to mention I think I was still bleeding and exhausted. And I wouldn’t be comfortable bringing a baby that young to multiple parties with a bunch of people either, especially during flu season.
If the wedding is baby friendly I would probably have been fine attending and just dipping out early. I’d probably baby wear to avoid too many people touching/holding him or her.
Some people are totally fine sending their infants for overnight visits right off the bat though. It’s really a personal decision but I would not commit to anything yet.
Post # 10
What kind of Christmas parties? Like for work parties, I would definitely leave the baby with grandparents or another trusted person. If you mean friends & family parties, what have your friends & family done in the past? Do people usually bring their babies or have these parties always been adults-only? If other people bring babies, then it’s purely your decision based on how you feel, how the baby is doing, if you’re worried about sick people showing up, etc. You are certainly allowed to leave a 4-6 week old baby for a couple hours. I would think it was weird for people to think that was weird. Leaving for a 2-week vacation, yeah weird. But a couple hours for a special event? Not weird.
Post # 11
Many women in the US only get six weeks maternity leave and have to go back to work full-time when their babies are six weeks old.
Wait and see how you feel. Are these office Christmas parties? If so, I’ve never seen a baby at a workplace holiday party. Unless you are dealing with some unusual issues the baby will be fine staying with your parents or a sitter for the January wedding, you’ll have to decide if you’re fine. (I’m a mother of three who had to travel overnight on business as early as eight weeks post-delivery. I pumped in some interesting places but it’s doable.)
Post # 12
If you really want to attend, I think you can leave the baby. I did leave mine that early (3 weeks). However, including travel I was gone about 2 hours max (and my baby was a pretty easy baby). And it was a dinner for a bachelorette party of a very good friend. I probably would not have gone to a holiday party or something that wasn’t super important. I didn’t even really want to go to the dinner but I went anyway and had fun. I was not gone long. My second baby I did not, but I also didn’t have anything that I really needed or wanted to go to. And he was colicky so even leaving him an hour to go to the gym was difficult. For the wedding in January I think you could leave the baby if you want to go. I mean, people return to work that early.
Remember if you are breastfeeding you will need to pump every 2-3 hours at that age. So keep that in mind while making plans.
I’d probably rather not bring the baby just because of cold and flu germs at that time of year.
Post # 13
You can leave but you don’t know if you *want* to leave until you’re at that point. I didn’t want to leave my daughter for a while after she was born. She’s 3 months and I still have trouble leaving her!
Post # 14
We couldn’t have taken LO to parties at those ages because he had thrush and silent reflux and cried so much, so often. He’d have a hard time and we wouldn’t have been able to enjoy ourselves at all.
My friend’s 2 month old sleeps like a rock through everything though so she can bring him anywhere no problem. Luck of the draw!
Post # 15
We went out without our firstborn on NYE (for 2 hours- just for dinner- at like 5pm) and he was 11 days old. It was actually great, and I felt like a real person again (sometimes newborns can really make you feel unlike your self).
I can’t remember how soon after our second born we went out, but it was likely a couple of weeks. We didn’t leave either for too long (I was nursing and frankly became uncomfortable after a couple of hours), but it was nice to socialize and be out.
So- I’d say go- enjoy, and maybe even have a cocktail if you’re up for it. You’ll probably welcome the break, and if your parents are babysitting- they’ll probably welcome the hours of sweet newborn snuggles.