Post # 1
So I really need some support/advice/anthing really. I literally had the worst day today- we were supposed to be having our engagement photo’s taken. I had this vision in my head of a snowy Boston and taking our pictures on the cambridge side on memorial drive (for those who don’t know its the best view of boston and the charles river). I just thought it would be perfect seeing that my FH and I have lived here for almost ten years. I love the snow too and it snowed this weekend- YAY. I also agonized over what to wear and finally just went and bought an outfit this morning. It was a rorange (red and orange) pea coat and pretty scarf to stand out in the snow. It was perfect!
We’re having a friend of my FH’s shoot our wedding and the engagement photo’s but FH did not give him much directionon what we wanted. To be fair, we’re not paying him (I’m sending him a GC for $100 but he doesn’t know that yet). We had a plan to go out at 2 today and then it got pushed back to 3. We ended up at a park in Brookline (outside the city) near the photographers house. We don’t even live there! There was snow at this park but not much else. Since he is a friend he kept saying we can get better photo’s another day etc. But it was just not what I wanted. We spent about 30 min in the park and called it a day 🙁 Don’t get me wrong there are defintely some nice shots of us in there but it’s just not what I wanted. I had a vision ya know. I tried to tell the FH about how disappointed I was and he just doesn’t get it. And doesn’t really care much about enagement photo’s. I understand, it’s not the end of the world and this guy is shooting us for free. But now I feel like I have wasted the good outfit I picked out and our opportunity for good pics. It’s hard to get a pretty snow covered day on the weekend in a year where there seems to be no snow in Boston 🙁
Am I being a little brat about this? FH is now mad at me becasue he thinks I’m overracting and I should just see what other kinds of pics we can get. But it sucks having to wait for the next time you can get pictures and what am I going to wear and how will I look when we take those- whenever that is…. ugh I’m just really sad I think. What if this iis what it is like for the wedding. Maybe we shouldn’t have a friend do it….
Post # 3
That’s understandable 🙁
Can we see some photos? I’d love to see that beautiful coat and scarf!
Post # 4
Unfortunately, this is one of the problems with friendors – they aren’t being paid so why should they go the extra mile.
I completely understand your disappointment. Engagement photos are an exciting thing! Are you worried that you won’t get another day with snow? If so, is there any way to get the friend out tomorrow or very soon to redo them?
Post # 5
At least you CAN get a redo. For people who had to pay for their photographer, if we didn’t like the pics that we got that day then we would have to pay to get them redone on another day. But you said that you got some nice pics today and that you will also get another chance to get some more for free. I think you should stick with your friend because you will never get another chance with a pro unless you pay. But I think you need to be clear about where you want the pics to be taken. And you can always wear the same outfit both times. I think you’re just sad right now and that you will get the pics that you want later on.
Post # 6
@soontobebyrdy: I don’t have any pics in it yet but I will post them as soon as I have them. I only wore the coat and outfit for the shoot.
@adnama: It’s gping to rain in Boston tomorrow so we will miss the snow this time. It’s only January so I am hoping there will be so more snow on a weekend in the future. If not- we’re just going to take the city photo’s I want without the snow. It’s tough with friendors but I suppose it’s better than the alternative of spending a ton of money 🙂
@USAandKSA: This is a great point! Thanks! I couldn’t imagine feeling like this and having to pay a ton of money for it. It’s important for me to remember things like this 🙂
Post # 7
We had my husband’s uncle do our wedding photos. I had a lot of misgivings about it but didn’t want to ruffle any feathers. The pictures turned out horrible, we don’t even display them. I really really wish that I had hired a professional! It’s definitely one of my biggest regrets 🙁 I think it’s awesome you’re having engagement ones done so you can make sure your friendor’s style matches your vision for the wedding. Hopefully they turn out great! If not, I really hope you make a change!
Post # 8
This is one of those situations where I’m going to say: you get what you pay for! I actually lived in Brookline by Coolidge Corner for 3 years (moved 5 months ago) and there are some gorgeous parks there. Try to rescedule, and schedule the shoot for 3 or 3:30 along the river. You’ll have better golden light at that time (since it’s dark by like 5 this time of year). The Mass Ave bridge would also be a good spot (but it does get quite windy out there!). The Boston skyline is kind of far away from the Cambridge side of the river – it’ll appear more dominant in the frame if you’re closer in on the bridge.
Post # 9
I’d be upset too. Remember though that you have a whole wedding to go through and you will have LOTS of pictures them. Just make sure you arrange it that way. Also, you don’t have to have the pictures done now, just because the are called “engagement” photos. You’re not gonna look any different between now and your wedding day (besides a little more done up) so to me it’s really kind of a waste of time and money. I would save the money to have some done at milestones in your life together instead of back to back.
Post # 10
I would be upset…but I also agree with PP that you get what you pay for Hopefully if this guy doesn’t mesh with what you want you can hire someone to do pictures for you…this is your wedding day, you should be able to have pictures you love and are proud of!
Post # 11
Hire a professional for your enagagement shot and wear the same outfit and also hire them for the wedding day and save yourself the heartache.
Tell them what photos you want.
Post # 12
Thanks for all the advice bees. I’ve calmed down a bit since the shoot yesterday and my FH actually talked to the photogragraher friend last night. Apparently he was thrown off yesterday with something that happened to him personally and he apologized to FH that we didn’t get the shots we wanted. I’m pretty confident that we will be able to get the shots we want and that it will all work out in the end. The good news about all of this… my FH is absolutely the best and actually made me feel better about everything. And that is what I’m so thankful for!
I don’t have pics of our shoot but here is what he is capable of 🙂
Post # 13
You’re not being a brat.
I think this is one of the risks of having a friendor — he feels comfortable with you, so it sounds like he wasn’t as professional as he would have been if you were strangers. I really think it’s easier having a photographer who is NOT your friend — that way your relationship is strictly business; you can tell him/her exactly what you want, and if that’s not what you get, you don’t have to worry about ruining a friendship if you put your foot down.
Is there any chance you can hire someone else for the wedding?
Post # 14
A lot of people are saying that your disappointment is because you are hiring a friendor, but from what you’ve posted of the situation, it sounds like 1) weather wasn’t on your side (even a pro obviously couldn’t help with that) and 2) you didn’t do a good job communicating with the photographer about what you wanted from the photo session/what your vision was. Next time, you should talk to the friend directly about what your vision is and any specific shots that you’re interested in, and maybe share other photography in the style that you really like. I imagine that your friend will probably be grateful to have some direction–you should explain this to your husband, and you should take the leadership role of being the photographer’s point person from now on (regardless of whether your husband is closer to him in real life), since you are obviously more opinionated about the photography (understandably). But really: communicate, communicate, communicate. It’s important to communicate with pros, and since he is not a pro, you are going to have to spell out the details of what your expectations are and what his expectations are. It may seem awkward at first, but it will get easier. Next time you book a session, make sure both of you agree on the length of time that you’ll be shooting. Map out a plan for the wedding day (including a timeline of all of the blocked out times for photos and what points of the day you want him to be shooting) and go over in detail the shots that you have to have, as well as the style that you’re interested in. Photographers tend to work best when they have an idea of what their client wants, so as long as you are not overly demanding (he is working for free) and open to his interests, skills, and limitations. The photographer will probably appreciate the input, since I’m sure it’s as awkward for him as it is for you if he doesn’t feel like he knows what you want.
Post # 15
If there are particular poses or types of shots you want, maybe find examples of them online and show those to him so he knows exactly what it is you’re going for.
Post # 16
Just looked at the weather report..its supposed to be light snow on Sunday! Maybe you can get together really quick if its snowing out. I know its suppose to warm up this week & they said the snow should be melted by the end of the week.