(Closed) First post and its an emotional one….. might be long

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2459 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Its going to be ok

Post # 4
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

It’s going to be okay!!

I met my husband when I was 19…we were both working for a department store (he was working on his degree I was just working lol) and I really wanted a management position. I didn’t think anyone would take a 19 year old manager seriously so I started telling everyone I was 20. I never realized that I would fall in love with my now husband and have to tell him the truth about my age. We were actually living together before I got the courage to tell him. I was sure it would ruin our relationship but he was really good about it and understood why I told everyone I was older. It honestly not that big of a deal. And we are happily married now so it obviously worked out ok. I’m sure you guys will be fine!

Post # 5
Member
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It is only a one year difference. It’s not like you are 35 and saying you are 26, that would be a big fib. This is a little one. It’s going to be ok.

Post # 6
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I can understand why he’s shocked.  I don’t think you did anything wrong, and he said he still loves you, so everything should be fine.

If I found out something like that about my Fiance, I’d still love him but it would just be weird for a bit.  Since I’ve known him I’ve always considered him to be 1 year older than I am (which he is).  If it turned out he was 1-3 years older, or 1-3 years younger, I wouldn’t love him any less.  It would just be very strange because even though it doesn’t matter, just because it’s different from what I always thought I knew.  Just give him time and space to wrap his head around it.

Post # 7
Member
1405 posts
Bumble bee

What’s the problem?  He said he was fine and it was no big deal.

I have a cousin that thinks she is a year younger than she really is.  The whole family just pretends she was born after her Dad got divorced (back in 1973) and her Mom and Dad got married.  Now that’s a secret….

Post # 8
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

This happened to me! Only I was in your FI’s shoes. I kind of felt like an idiot when it came out, then I was mad, but I got over it. It’ll be a good story to tell the grandkids. 

Post # 9
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Sunflower–girl: How does that work? She hasn’t needed to use her birth certificate for school or work purposes? Doesn’t her driver’s license tell her real age? Or are you saying she knows how old she is but everyone pretends she’s younger?

Post # 10
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I understand he’s not 1000% cool with it, it’s not a big deal but it’s like suddenly you tell him you really have a different name, he’s a bit shocked but you are freaking out, it’s not a big deal but if you make it bigger than it is he might believe you have more to hide.

Post # 11
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@BrideByTheBay: I would be more mad that you waited so long to tell me. You should have fessed up loonggg before your engagement party and I imagine that was pretty embarassing for him. Give him time to get over it if hes still angry/upset.

Post # 12
Member
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

Don’t sweat it!  If that is the biggest surprise between the both of you then it’s really not that bad in the long run.

Post # 13
Member
1405 posts
Bumble bee

@kate169:  I don’t know.  She is only a year (well 2 years) older than me.  I overheard the adults talking about this one day when I was little.  I tried to ask questions once but that didn’t go anywhere.  She probably knows now but we never celebrated her birthday age twice.

Post # 15
Member
5883 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

In the big picture, not a big deal. But emotionally, I’d be feeling like, “what else haven’t you told me?” Once I got over that and let it really sink in, it wouldn’t bother me. Give him a chance to adjust.

PS- Melbourne is my favorite city in the world–you are so lucky!!

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