(Closed) First post: First look, undecided

posted 8 years ago in Traditions
  • poll: What are your thoughts on "First Look"?


    Heck no!

    I wish I had done it!

    I regretted it.

  • Post # 18
    615 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Our timeline made a first look a very good option.  We wanted to cut down on the time spent taking photos while all the guests were waiting….we we did a first look alone with the photographer.  It was more exciting than I thought it would be!  Then after the ceremony, we did portraits while everyone was doing cocktails and apps, and we were done and back to our guests.  I think if we had more time between the two, it might have influenced our decision, but maybe not. 

    We aren’t super traditional, so it worked for us.  I wasn’t worried about him only seeing me when I came down the aisle.  Th photos of the first look are special, because it was just us, no other guests around. 

    Post # 19
    7112 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think first looks are the best wedding trend in the last two decades! Seriously! I think they are more special for the couple and better for the guests.

    When your guy sees you for the first time at the ceremony you don’t get any time to fawn over each other or be excited with each other or just catch your breath because you have to dive right into the wedding ceremony. When you do a first look that time is all about the two of you. It’s one of the few private moments that my husband and I had our entire wedding day. I cherished that time that I coudl spend iwht him. I was able to tell him how handsome he was. He was able to tell me he loved my dress. We were able to share our excitement that we were about to be married. We would have missed all that if we waited until the ceremony.

    Plus, you are already so rushed on your wedding day, I feel like it’s very difficult to get enough time with your guests unless you have a small wedding, so I wouldn’t want to sacrifice any socializing time while taking post ceremony pictures. Plus, as a guest, I hate waiting around for the bride and groom to take pictures for hours!

    ETA: If you do two dresses are you okay with having all your formal portaits in your “first look dress”? Because that’s what you’ll end up with. Honestly, I wouldn’t do it, but that’s because I loved my wedding dress so much!

    Post # 20
    2002 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

    @chxryl:  I’m not. I would rather have the special moment down the aisle. For us, photography time isn’t a huge deal because I don’t want that many posed shots. Fiance hates being photographed, and it shows on his face (a la Chandler from friends), so I know that the best pics will be the candid ones, so we are only doing the basics for posing. We have an hour of cocktails before dinner, and my photog assured me we would have a little time to breathe and mingle before dinner. I think we will likely end up doing posed photos for about 30 minutes (we are doing guys and ladies separately beforehand).

    Post # 21
    392 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014


    The two dress thing… I guess I don’t get it? Your fiance has surely seen you in dresses before, so this won’t be a “first look” at anything except your specific “first look” dress. And then presumably you’ll still want pictures together in your actual wedding dress, so you’ll stil take up time getting portraits after the wedding. So, by doing a first look in a separate dress, you’ll have added the expense and stress of a second dress, taken away the magic of him seeing your entire bridal look for the first time as you enter the ceremony (since he’ll already have seen your hair and makeup, and let’s be blunt: most guys aren’t going to appreciate the subtle differences between two different white dresses seen on different occasions, though I’m sure you’ll look stunning in both) and yet get none of the time savings for your guests a first look usually affords.

    Really the only thing you’ll be getting by doing  a first look and then changing is an intimate moment together before the ceremony, which isn’t nothing, but it still seems like a lot of hassle for very little benefit.

    Post # 22
    444 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I asked my Fiance too and he was like “nope, not till you’re walking down the aisle”.  And in the pics that I’ve seen, it appears that the first look is more happy and less emotional.  Your call, but I really like the idea of sticking to tradition.

    Post # 23
    446 posts
    Helper bee

    Quite simply, I would say: it depends.


    Do you want his first look to be noted by your family and friends and have them whisper: Oh how he loves her.. I wish someone would look at me that way.. 😉  ?


    Or.. do you want that moment to be private?


    The wedding is not about “saving time”, it’s about making time and so what if the main wedding photos take time? It can be a fun experience. You could arrange to meet your photographer and discuss the shots to be taken and how long it will take. Try to get the photographer to be creative so you have fun during the photos. It doesn’t have to be a boring or long session, especially if photos are being taken during the event too.


    From what you are saying, you do want him to see you down the aisle first time in your white dress. What is the point in having pictures done in any other dress than your wedding dress? You can do that any day of the week  😉


    An alternative could be that you exchange love letters prior to the wedding and read them privately, but only separated by a door, with the preacher passing them to you 😉 and have a First Read instead and it will gear you up to the Emotion of the wedding and make the aisle even more special.


    Don’t be pressured into anything or it will make you try to please more people than yourself and that will scatter your energy. Focus on what you want. A suggestion is not a command.


    Post # 24
    99 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: January 2014



    View original reply


    Ladies, I may be the first bee on here to regret our first look.  Originally, my husband and I were against it, but as time went on and I got further and further into the planning (and reading posts on here. lol) I pushed to have the first look.  I’m a very nervous person by nature and I break out in red splotches all over my neck and chest area when I’m nervous.  I didnt want to look like that coming down the aisle, so I felt seeing him before that moment would calm me down – which it did. 


    However, I’m sure everyone’s situation is different, but since ceremony/reception were taking place at the same hotel venue, we had a ton of hotel guests watching us and I ended up running into our wedding guests as they were arriving for the wedding.  Not at all what I wanted… while the first look pictures are okay, my favorites were taken after the ceremony.  Husband says it was his favorite part of our day though – go figure!


    Post # 26
    444 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @LDay1983:  I cried too. And emailed the link to Fiance

    Post # 27
    131 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @roguehnp2005:  I agree, since I was little I was had the thought in my head that the first look was down the aisle. I also wanted to have that moment with my dad of him giving me away. It doesn’t make sense to see my hubby before my dad gave me away.

    I’m not a fan of the new trend but I’m sure it works for some.

    Post # 28
    4113 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    We’re doing it for two reasons.. One I don’t want to leave my party, and two.. Because I think it’s very romantic. I like the idea of spending a few minutes alone together to take it all in. 

    Post # 29
    2246 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    THe idea of a first look appeals to us so we’ll be doing it.

    Post # 30
    653 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

    @msfreemis:  I know eh? GREAT ARTICLE!!!!

    All he kept saying (with tears coming down his face) was ‘it’s so intimate, like it’s just you and me alone…it’s all about us…I want this’

    It was sweet to see him change from dead set against it to right on board!

    Post # 31
    444 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @LDay1983:  That was my initial reasoning when I brought it up to Fiance.  I wanted him to be the first person to see me and for it to be a private moment between us.  And I am very nervous about being the center attention.  I think sharing a moment with him beforehand is exactly what I will need.  I asked him to read the article and told him I would support his decision either way.  He has been really easy going about letting me call the shots with this party, so when he specifies a preference on something, I pretty much let him have his way.

    The topic ‘First post: First look, undecided’ is closed to new replies.

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