Post # 1
I am new here. Been lurking like a lot of the newbies. I have been enjoying reading all of the posts and seeing awesome pix! Here’s my deal…I have been with my BF for about 3 years, living together for two years. We are both divorced and with grown kids. I am 51 and he is 53. We have talked about getting married, more seriously the past several months. We have both said that we don’t plan to ever be with anybody else, grow old together, etc. One day at the mall, 7 months ago, we wandered into a couple of jewelry stores. We looked at a couple of rings and after about an hour, he and the sales lady finally asked me to step out (awkward) and I waited nervously out front. He told me he put one on “hold”. I already have reason to believe he actually bought it that day, but I have yet to get a proposal!! I am trying to be patient, but sometimes I feel frustrated, sad, mad, etc. especially when I see others getting engaged or married. We have had a couple of arguments about it and finally I just stopped bringing it up. One of the last times, he said, if I would stop bringing it up and let it happen naturally, it might happen. I was thinking it may happen on my birthday in September or our vacation in October but it didn’t. Now, I am waiting for Christmas time. We will see. If it doesn’t, then I guess I am going to have to plain out ask, why and what’s he waiting for. UGH!!!
Post # 2
Welcome!!! I know how anxious you must feel right now. I would say try to relax and make it through the holidays. Give him just a little more time and then have that conversation when you feelthr time is right.
Post # 3
Wait, you’re not supposed to mention a major life decision relevant to your own relationship and just “let it happen naturally”? You’re both in your 50s, either you both agree to get married or you don’t.
Post # 4
This can be tricky!
Yes, sitting on an egagement ring for 7 whole months, whether he either “put it on hold” or actually purchased it, is a long time … especially for a Girlfriend who is anxiously awaiting a proposal. However, this is *his* time, so don’t spoil it for him.
With that being said, you *do* deserve to know if the relationship is still going anywhere major, like marriage, especially since you two are adults. So, check in with him and ask if you two are indeed still on the same page, but don’t pressure him to ask you before he was planning to and don’t ask him to share any of the mystery behind it. Proposals are special and only happen once between a couple and you wouldn’t want to ruin that.
So yeah, make sure you two are on the same page, but let him take the lead and do what he has planned … even if that means waiting a few more months. You’ll be happy you did when that day finally comes! 🙂
Post # 5
I have said the same thing since we are older (young at heart) and I see no reason to wait. He has been divorced for 13 years and didn’t plan to get married again. I know he will eventually. We have a reservation at a romantic restuarant on the 19th for a early Christmas dinner together. I was hoping for it then, but I won’t get my hopes up too much!
Post # 6
I would guess that he is as we were discussing venues, cakes and guestlist just 2 weeks ago. He knows I am waiting and I know it’s coming but he is dragging his feet….slowly!!
Post # 7
I think that most men want to do it when they feel everything is just right. It’s more important to them on how they propose then it is to us, so I’m sure he’s just waiting till he knows exactly when and how 🙂
Post # 8
I think that too and he won’t be rushed into anything, especially that. It’s just so hard to wait for this long. I love him and I just want to move forward and plan this next step with him. I am so excited and I want him to be too.
Post # 9
I will admit that I have never fully understood waiting. If I got to the point where I was actively waiting for a proposal, I’d be gone. At my age (and yours), who has time for that? And I can’t stand the “if you shut up about it, I’ll propose” mentality. It’s a joint decision, and the ship sailed on a surprise proposal years ago.
Post # 10
I agree. I think sometimes that’s it’s a bit unfair for the man to be the one who decides when this event that greatly impacts the woman will take place. Sure, it affects both people involved, but for the guy to have all the control over it seems kind of wrong to me. For the woman to just sit quietly by and wait for him to act is pretty ridiculous. But having said that, I’m sitting and waiting too.
Post # 11
I would join the shut it up thread and give him until like Valentine’s Day. If nothing comes then I’d ask again. Or on feb 29th ask him 😛