(Closed) First post, introducing myself.

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Are you still waiting to see if you are "the one"?
    Heck no, I won't stay with anyone who isn't sure. : (16 votes)
    29 %
    Heck no, my boyfriend KNOWS I am the one! : (21 votes)
    38 %
    Yes, and I'm not happy about it. He should know by now. : (3 votes)
    5 %
    Yes, but it's ok, some guys need more time. : (5 votes)
    9 %
    Yikes, I have no clue... he never told me either way. : (1 votes)
    2 %
    I don't believe in "the one". : (10 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1325 posts
    Bumble bee

    Welcome!

    And By The Way, not every waiting lady knows a proposal is coming eventually. So yes, you do belong here if you are simply waiting for a proposal. 🙂

    Don’t you love it (in a sarcastic way) when our guys have excuses like “I won’t be the same person in 30 years.” It’s like…. “REALLY Captain Obvious?!!! I should hope not!” lol

    Post # 5
    Member
    1325 posts
    Bumble bee

    @Mrs. Harmony: Yeah …. I have the boyfriend that is 4 years younger. I promise I try and give him some slack for that. Embarassed  lol

    It’s true you will not be the same people always, it’s the ability to grow and change together that makes it ok.

    I think your boyfriend just said not to compare your relationship with other people because that is a standard guy thing to say to kind of dodge the issue. 🙂

    Is it really that bad to compare the two of you to a really great example? 

    Post # 6
    Member
    659 posts
    Busy bee

    Welcome! I know how you feel with him not knowing if your the one or not. And not being able to plan the future. It sucks. And I’m with you guys on the typical guy talk. I hate when he says don’t compare our relationship to other peoples.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3303 posts
    Sugar bee

    welcome- I hope he is able to figure it out soon but you should also figure out what YOU are willing to do- such as wait and for how long, leave and at what time, and focus more on yourself- if he can not see long term into the relationship, don’t place him FIRST- place yourself and your needs above all.

    Post # 8
    Member
    108 posts
    Blushing bee

    for me it’s an “if” not when thing as well. i’m pretty sure it will happen someday, but he seems to want a lot of time… not sure how long i want to wait.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1368 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I hope you two will progress into “when” soon. To share my story, I brought up the subject 7 month ago, which caught my man by surprise. My man clearly never thought about it seriously till then. Honestly he must have freaked by my bringing up at the time. But, after discussing and talking about timelines and expectations, now we’re more on the same page towards it. He did this part of thinking and thinking and thinking during these months. I think your bf needs some time and space to SERIOUSLY think about your expectations and the relationship, and then share his thoughts with you.

    Post # 10
    Member
    433 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I’ve been in your shoes before, for me, it didn’t go so well. we got a long amazingly, everything was absolutely awesome when we were together. It just worked. It was easy, and felt comfortable.

    I do have to say their was a lot of drama behind why we parted ways. If their had been no drama I truly believe we would have ended up together. We are still close friends and he has said on occasion that he wishes he were the guy picking out a ring to put on my finger but he realizes he made the wrong decision in letting me go. but i am happier with my man now than i ever was with him.

    what I’m trying to say, is that, I hope he realizes how great you two are together. How well you do get each other, and how well you support each other. I hope he sees the good times and the struggles you’ve been through, and that he sees how much you have grown in your relationship. Everyone changes throughout their life, but if you change together and learn from one another as you change, you will constantly grow together. And become a stronger pair than you were when you began your relationship.

    Post # 11
    Member
    432 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @Mrs. Harmony: Welcome! You’ll love it here. I hope that soon “If” will turn into a “When” 🙂

    Have you looked at Mr. Bee’s Three Step Plan?

    Post # 12
    Member
    870 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @Mrs. Harmony: I definitely started out in your place when I signed up here. I noticed most ladies had been told that they were going to get a proposal one day (or the guy already had the ring and they were just waiting to get it), whereas I was more waiting for my guy to get his stuff [sic] together and answer the question one way or the other. (For the record, I don’t believe in “the one”.) We’ve been together almost 7 years and are both basically 30 at this point and I really just wanted to know what he was thinking so I could move on with my life either way.

    In the year since we’ve moved closer to “when” than “if” but still with no concrete timeline in mind. In fact when I read this post I decided to ask him if he wanted to marry me and he said: “Someday.” Grr. But I have my own timeline I’m following so he’ll have to figure out his pretty soon.

    Post # 13
    Member
    363 posts
    Helper bee

    Welcome!!

    Post # 14
    Member
    4313 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    All I’ll say is that if getting married is important to you, he’s not the only guy in the world.  I know you love him and your relationship is good for the most part, but he isn’t the only guy in the world.  Personally, if I heard “I don’t know” one too many times, I would leave (and I have).

    This post strikes me as you seeing all the beauty and wonder in your relationship, and him not realizing it in return…which I think you deserve.

    Post # 15
    Member
    176 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I think it’s great that you decided to post something! We’re all waiting bees in our own way and everyone’s story is different. Your SO may decide you’re the one tomorrow and you might get a proposal quicker than some of us who know it’s coming but for various reasons it’s just not happening yet.  Hearing different people’s experiences is good for a bit of perspective- something that comes in handy when we’re struggling to be patient!

    Post # 16
    Member
    384 posts
    Helper bee

    Welcome – and you are certainly “waiting” – waiting on a proposal or waiting on a ring, same thing…you’re waiting.  My SO has said that “yes, some day he wants to marry me” but there is no clear timeline.  and, believe me I was definitely an IF when I came on the boards.  I would say I’m in the beginning stages of being a “when.” 

    I can tell you this.  There are no guarantees and like another poster said, you may get your proposal before some people who know their SO’s already have the ring in hand.  There are no guarantees in life and I like that you’re enjoying the relationship for the joy it brings you. 

    But, as everyone probably knows, we have to have our “own” timelines in mind and know how long we’re willing to wait.  Me, I’m not sure and that irritates me.  I think with me I’ll know “when I know.”  Like, I’ll know when I’ve waited long enough.

    Hope that doesn’t happen to either of us.  I hope you become a when real soon and I become a “timeline-knowing” woman!!

    Good luck

    The topic ‘First post, introducing myself.’ is closed to new replies.

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