- 6 years ago
Hello – I have been lurking/reading the waiting posts for a while trying to clarify my feelings about my situation. My boyfriend and I are both in our late 30’s and both went through painful divorces about 3 years ago. We each have 2 young children, although his live with his ex. We have been dating almost 2 years and feel very certain that we want to spend our lives together. In the beginning, he said that he didn’t think he wanted to get married again b/c his divorce was so agonizing, but that he wasn’t sure – he said he felt the right person would change his mind. But he said he would definitely not marry someone he hasn’t lived with. He now wants me to move in with him and I really want to live with him. BUT I want to be his wife – not a lifetime girlfriend. For me, marriage is a natural progression of our relationship because of our feelings – not because of the little girls dream of a big wedding (I already had that the first time). He says that he just doesn’t really want to get married and that he can’t say whether he will in the future or not. He says he does want to spend his life with me and would do all the legal things(living will, power of attorney, etc) to make sure we were taken care of.
We have an amazing bond with really good communication – It is everything I want out of a relationship. I can’t seem to let go of the need to get married – I dwell on it and I am going to end up ruining this amazing thing… I just need some input and opinions – good or bad. I can’t really bring myself to open up to anyone about my feelings. It seems easier to post about them here.