- miss forever
- 4 years ago
Being single (in every sense of the word) is not an entirely new concept to me. Afterall, I had been single the entire 26 years of my life.
I’ve always wanted to date someone but never had much luck in that department. Guys who chased me weren’t my type, and guys who were my type were already attached. It wasn’t because I wasn’t eligible either – I am educated, attractive and come from a well-to-do family. Well, maybe it doesn’t help that I am slightly shy and passive and live in a small asian country with a small social circle.
On my 26th year, I decided that I should try to find someone to be with…and I did.
He is a colleague in the same firm as me and is Korean.
I’ve always loved the Korean culture since an exchange to said country – Great!
He is Christian!
My only fixed criterion – Perfect!
Umm – Not-so-perfect!
Both of us were attracted to each other, and within 4 months of knowing each other, he said he wanted to start a serious relationship with me despite having struggles with knowing that he would not stay in this country forever. I decided to take a leap of faith and entered this relationship.
We dated for three months and it was my first relationship ever. I was very happy yet at the back of my mind I was insecure because I wasn’t sure when he would leave and what would happen in our future. I was also disturbed by the fact that he was having problems quitting cigarettes as he had promised to do. A fact which I had to hide from my mum and felt uncomfortable doing so.
After three months, something happened. He went on a business trip to Korea and met his extended family there over a free weekend. After he came back, he was depressed. I thought he was affected by the business proposal that didn’t go too well, but it was also because of something else.
Less than a week later, he told me the truth. He comes from an illustrious family where many of his extended relatives hold important high-ranking positions in Korea. As the only grandson and with a sickly grandma, they would like him to consider marriage soon and meet girls from a approved list that they had.
They didn’t say that they would like him to marry a Korean girl but I would assume so. He told them about me but they questioned if I were Korean and how long he intended to stay in my country. Prior to meeting him, they had already had a talk with his mum about this issue and she agreed to their proposal of him meeting those candidates as well.
Thus, we broke up. I was devastated. I was sad that he didn’t fight for me, even though I knew that Korean families were very exclusive and it was hard to do anything to change that mindset.
It’s almost 1.5 months since the break up and I still see him at work everyday.
We treat each other as friends, even though sometimes he is so polite to a fault towards me and my close friends at work that it hurts.
I’ve been moving on quite well, with prayers and support from friends.
I still like him and think of him more often than I should.
Not sure if he feels the same since he had five other relationships before meeting me. Perhaps he is more accustomed to break ups than me.
Perhaps it’s easier being the one doing the break up.
I know my relationship wasn’t the longest at three months and many people possibly wouldn’t consider it being serious…but it was my longest relationship and I gave it my all.
Any advice, encouragement, or stories to share for this single girl here who is feeling wistful this Christmas season? 🙂