(Closed) first time brides over 30 how do you feel about wedding later in life?

posted 8 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 137
Member
1678 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

i am so happy i waited until now to get married (i’ll be 33 when we marry next year) because i am more aware of what a marriage is, and more aware of myself. i met my Fiance when i was 30 and he was 36 – and neither of us have ever been married or had kids. its a clean slate, a fresh start, and we’re doing it when we are ready. if i had gotten married 10 years ago, i’d have 2 kids and an ex husband by now!

i am the real life 27 dresses – i’m the last of all my girlfriends to get married – and i have so happy i had the chance to have been in all those weddings and decided what i liked and didn’t like – and to be sure that our day embodies us…what we want…and no one else!

 

Post # 138
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m 37 and I must say I’m so glad I’m getting married soon before I get any more wrinkles. It’s my FH second marriage and he’s been so good about going through all the rituals with me (engagement pics etc.). I feel good I’m getting married now. I am very Happy and think I am much more up to the task of planning a wedding than when I was in my twenties. 

Post # 139
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I was engaged when I was in my early 20’s. SO thankful that did not work out. I am 35, my Fiance is 38. It will be our first and last marriage for us both. It is a little different as I have an 11 year old from a previous relationship. 

 

I’m glad I waited. I was okay with not dating while raising my son. Little did I know a friend I’ve known for 8 years would turn out to be my best friend and the love of my life. 

Post # 140
Member
919 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I am 31, Fiance is 30, and we are both happy we met “later in life.” We both had our youth to experiment, be crazy and do what we wanted, and now we are ready to settle down and be married and have a family.

I agree completely with @girlrunning, I couldn’t imagine not having my 20’s to travel, be free, and experience all of the things i did. 

Post # 141
Member
1342 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@HisNightOwl2014:  Nope.  I believe God has a plan and I wouldn’t change it for a thing!  I got engaged at 30 (we started dating when I was 28) and married at 31.

Post # 142
Member
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I used to want to get married before 30 when I was young

 

But I’m glad I’m getting married next year (I’m 32 this year)

 

I feel that I’m mentally and financially ready for a marriage than when I’m young. 

When I’m younger, I’m aggressive in career.  Now that I’m more settled in my career, I feel that I would have more time and energy to start a family together with my bf. 

Post # 143
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Fiance and I will be 32 when we get married…. I kinda wish we met a few years earlier, but regardless I never would have gotten married in my early twenties….none of my social circle got married in their early twenties and so I would have felt left out with all my single friends going out and everything.  I feel like Fiance and I have a better chance at “making it” as we are much more mature than we were in our younger days, we know who we are and what we want, and we are ready to start a family.

Post # 144
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

@HisNightOwl2014:  I don’t know how I feel about 30’s being “later in life”… To me marrying later in life is 50’s or 60’s

Post # 145
Member
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Latitude 41

@HisNightOwl2014:  My Fiance and I have been together since we were 19.  I am turning 31 on Friday and we are getting married in June 2014….uh…and we have a 9 (soon to be 10) year old son, who we had at 21.  We REALLY took our time to get married.  We didn’t want to get married just because we had a child.  We sure had our ups and downs during our 20s and honestly, I am so happy we waited.  We are at a point in our lives now where I feel like our relationship has been reborn.  We are stronger and better than ever and I feel like when we FINALLY do make those vows, we can say “for better or for worse” and know what that means, because we have already been through better and worse…and survived.  CAN’T WAIT!!

You are right, everything does happen in its own time.

   

Post # 145
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m so thankful for this thread!  While I don’t necessarily feel or look like I’m 33 (will be 34 and Fiance will be 1 month shy of 38 when we get married), I sometimes stop and think that there are other brides who are 10 years + younger than I am, and I start to feel “old”.

I’m a firm believer in that things happen for a reason, so while I wish I had met Fiance a long time ago, I’m glad that we met when we did and are getting married at a later stage in life.  Last year alone, we bought a house, got a puppy, I got a promotion at work, Fiance started a successful side job that he hopes will replace his current full time job, and we got engaged.  I can’t imagine we would’ve been able to do all those things if we were in our 20s since we’re so much more secure now in our careers and financially.  

In our social circle, about half are married and half are not, so thankfully I don’t feel like I’m late to the party either. 😉

Post # 146
Member
678 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Fiance and I will be marrying, each of us for the first time, at 31 and 33 respectively. I’ll be darned if I consider that “later in life”!! While I was actually just thinking this morning that I am the last of my college housemates (there were 5 of us) to get married, there are still plenty of people I know who aren’t yet and it’s completely and totally normal!

Just like the PP, we are just now getting to the stage where buying a house and adding a pet to our family are feasible for us, and our decision to get married feels like a natural one, and one we’re glad we didn’t rush ourselves to!

Timelines are different for everyone, do what makes you happy! To heck with all the social pressures that tell you what you’re supposed to do or be.

Post # 147
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m 35 and Fiance is 41. Both of our first marriages. While I clearly think it would be wonderful if we met 10 years ago so we’d have more time ago, I’m really glad we didn’t. Neither of us were the people we are now and a certain amount of life and experience had to happen to make us ready for each other.

Why I like being older: I think divorce is less likely because a lot of the angsty 20s and the growing up has already happened.  All of the things that seem so important we’ve already realized aren’t important.  We both realize that marriage is about compromising and we are ready for that—I think it’s harder when you’re older because you are used to doing things your own way (I spend money how I want, I decorate how I want, I hire people to do my lawn etc. as I want and he does all of these as well), but when we made the decision to get married we knew that the “one our own” has to be given up.

We also have the appreciation of what it means to fall in love.  I think this was lost on me when I was younger.  Having somebody that truly makes me a better person and makes me want to be better and to share things with is truly a special thing, not the given that I think I used to feel.

There’s also so many less stressors that make it hard on a marriage. We are not struggling financially. We are not trying to start careers. All of those things that can make it hard.

So, I’m glad it’s later in life.  If it was earlier in life, I’m sure this would be my second marriage, not my first.

Post # 148
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I don’t know – I’m 30, my other half is 39, both of us are considering marriage for the first time. Yes, I wish I’d met him sooner so I could spend more of my life with him.. but, I know now we are both very different from how we were 10 years ago so who knows if we’d have been compatibale then? Also, I’ve had fairly serious health issues develop over the past 5 years. Whilst I’m sure he’d have supported me had we been married in a way I prefer that he’s seen me at my worst and on better days and still fell in love with me.

Post # 149
Member
1229 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’ll be 32 and he’ll be 34 when we marry this year. It used to bother me a bit, because I had always hoped to have children by the time I was 32 or 33… and I also hoped I could spend a few childless years in my marriage before having babies.

But our lives are so good right now it is hard to feel unhappy about anything. We are both growing in our jobs/future prospects, he makes a great paycheck so we have disposable income to have fun with, and planning the wedding has been more interesting than I thought (once the stress of choosing a venue was over…)

Things that we both have agreed are pluses when it comes to getting married “later in life”:

– we have agreed how much easier it has been to discuss things, disagree, compromise, etc. with the maturity we have now, as opposed to that which we had when we were 22.

– we’ve had many relationships with other people between us, and know what we want and don’t want, like and don’t like.

– we have more life experience and recognize how good we have it, and are thankful accordingly

– from a personal standpoint, I have traveled quite a bit, lived in other countries, worked many different jobs, and been with many different kinds of people (men and women 😉 ). These experiences have brought flavor and confidence to my life. I don’t think I would have been able to have them had I married at a young age.

Post # 150
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

If I had married any of the guys I dated in my early to mid 20s, I’d be divorced now. It took me some time to understand exactly what I was looking for in a partner and to stop settling for anything less than real love and compatibility (rather than chemistry or infatuation). Maybe some people know exactly what they want at that age, but I was not there yet, and I know I’m in good company. I was in my late 20s when I met and got serious with my fiance, and will be in my early 30s when I get married. It is perfect for me.

Also, I had soooo much fun as a single girl just running around and going to clubs and parties with my girlfriends! I know lots of people don’t feel this way or don’t need to go through this stage, but if I didn’t get those crazy fun years out of my system, I don’t think I would be as content with my much quieter, nearly-married, adult lifestyle. 🙂

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