(Closed) first time brides over 30 how do you feel about wedding later in life?

posted 9 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 17
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I remember when I was in grade nine, putting my lipstick on in front of the mirror in the girls bathroom, I scoffed to my friend “If I’m not married or engaged to be married by 25, I’m gonna kill myself”…

That was 20 years ago now, and 25 was almost 10 years ago and I’m getting married (for the first and last time) in less than 2 months!

I am a little concerned about my eggs, but that’s about it. I don’t feel “34” (whatever that’s supposed to feel like) and I think everything happened that needed to happen before I found my awesome man (he’s the same age as me btw).

I’m super excited to spend the rest of my life with him, and to start a family.

I’ve been seeing a naturopath for the last 6 months to get ready for TTC (my periods are really irregular and I’m also worried about stale eggs) and she has me on COQ10 to keep my eggs healthy (200mg a day) as well as chaste tree to help to regulate my period.

Hope this helps some of you chicks with your eggs!

 

Post # 18
Member
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I don’t feel like it’s later in life as well.  My 30’s have been the best time of my life!

Fiance is 37 and I’m 32.  we’ve been together 9 years, and lived together for 6.  So the wedding is a formality really….we’re doing it now because we can afford to pay for it ourselves….

Post # 19
Member
578 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I didn’t know over thirty was “later in life” until I signed my marriage certificate and I was labeled a “spinster”……lol DH and I crack up about that!

Post # 20
Member
2314 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

No, because I would have been stuck with an ex. Ew.

Post # 21
Member
2080 posts
Buzzing bee

I waited way too long to get married — I was in my 40s. I’ve told DH many times that I wish we had met about 15 years earlier. I think 35 would have been the perfect time for me to find Mr. Right — but that’s life in the big city.

I know there are some people who are able to wisely choose a mate for life when they are only in their 20s, but I was not one of them. I can’t imagine having been married in my 20s. If I had been married or if I had been responsible for children at that age, there wouldn’t have been room in my life for the adventures I had. And I wouldn’t trade my adventures for the world. Those years that I spent exploring the world, playing with my friends, meeting new people, developing hobbies and interests, stretching myself and trying new things, defined me and taught me about the world — kind of like an extension of my college education.

I know I’m probably going against the grain here, but I think generally speaking that if more people — not all people — waited until they were 30-ish or older to get married for the first time, there would be far fewer divorces and children being brought up by single parents.

 I might add that in the past several years, I’ve been really surprised by the number of  divorces among my peers in their 40s and 50s. These are women I’ve known and worked with over the years, who got married in their 20s, had trophy weddings with guys who seemed to be really great catches. And they’re splitting up after 20 or 25 years of marriage. And the divorces are nasss-teee. Maybe it’s just in my circles.

But no, I don’t regret that I didn’t get married young — at all!

Post # 22
Member
1438 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I never planned on ever getting married so……. i guess i feel like it’s the right time and it’s happening for a reason, a reason that wasn’t there before.

Post # 23
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

we’ve been together for many years, I wish we had married earlier but life has other plans! If I’d followed my brothers’ examples and married after one year of dating I’d be married for 13 years by now, LOL

Post # 24
Member
2451 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@RockStar33:  same here – I am marrying the first man I look forward to marrying. I never wanted children so never had any pressure to get married.

Post # 25
Member
2451 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Andr0meda:  I agree. I think the thirties are a far better time to get married than your twenties.

Post # 26
Member
2444 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

Yes and no.  I agree that everything happens in its own time and for a reason.  I didn’t know who I was when I was younger or who I wanted to be.  I now have kids (never married) and a career that I’m happy with.  My Fiance has a daughter and never wanted more kids so I feel if I would have met him younger and didn’t have kids I’d be missing that or we wouldn’t be together because kids was always something I wanted.

However, we are now both set in our ways and its hard to sometimes bend on things I want done a certain way if that’s not how he does it.  We make it work but its difficult sometimes.  I was a single mom for 8 years and used to depending on myself for everything.

I just think being older and marrying for the first time I’m more able to be mature about married life and know that life isn’t always how you plan it to be.  I can’t always have my way, I have to compromise etc.

Post # 27
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m 30, will be 31 when we marry.  Actually, I was dead set on remaining a “spinster” (my own word for it, no offense meant at all!) and never marrying, until my now-fiance finally talked me into going out to dinner with him a few years ago.  

I don’t regret waiting, things happen at their own natural pace, and if nothing else I can say that at 31, I will have a much better idea of what I want in life, and what is truly important, than I did in my twenties.

As far as the kids situation goes… for a while there I let myself worry about it, thinking we would need to get on it right away after marrying so we wouldn’t be too old for raising kids.  But now I’m approaching it in the same way as I approach marrying… all in its own good time, and all in its own natural progression. I’m open to having kids, but don’t absolutely have to have them either, so whatever occurs is fine with me.

Also, I agree with a few others here that 30’s are not really “later in life”.  Heck, my life didn’t really start coming together and getting really good til I was about 29!

Post # 28
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m glad I didn’t marry the guy I was with in my 20s, im glad he buggered off with someone else! I wouldn’t have met my Fi and I wouldn’t be having this little baby. Everything does happen for a reason 🙂 and omg my ex did me the biggest favour ever although at the time I thought it was the end of the world. I would love to send him a thank you card lol

Post # 29
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Hell no. I partied waayy too hard and had a great time doing it and didn’t even date seriously for about 12 yrs. The odd time I think about it but there was so much I did that I would never change, so this is the right time for me. I just turned 38. Fiance is 40 and has been married before.

 

The  only thing that is kinda crappy is that we have decided to TTC next year some time. If we have kids great, if not we’ll just have money instead lol. I dread being 40 and being woken up at all hours and having to change the freedom I have now etc. Even dealing with the changes of having Fiance around have been…interesting. It’ll suck if we don’t have kids, but in a way I’d be relieved. At the same though there is not point in time that I can look back on and say would have been a good time for me to have had kids, so things are happening when they are supposed to for me.

Post # 30
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Snow00774:  Having recently discovered I’m pregnant (not planned) I have to say that I went out alone for my lunch the other day which is something I kinda like to do by myself, its a simple thing but it’s something I have done for years and the thought suddenly hit me that I can’t just drop everything and do what I want to do and for the first time since I found out I’m pg it really made me think about everything! Even being pregnant and not being able to eat certain things is annoying too lol. But it is worth it I know it is and I’m looking forward to everything.

Im 34 and I’m glad I had the freedom I had, went on holidays, partied etc etc! Where I come from most people get married in their mid twenties and I do feel like an older bride because of this, having said that I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ll be 36 when I get married 🙂

Post # 31
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I do not regret waiting.  Had I married in my twenties, I would  have chosen the WRONG partner to marry, and would be divorced.  Do I wish that I had met  him in my early twenties?  Yes.  But let’s face it, I was having too much fun travelling the world and partying to settle down with anyone.  I just wasn’t mature enough to handle marriage.

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