(Closed) First time dad at 40+?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 17
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

My friend’s husband was 42 when the first kid was born and he is AMAZING with them.  He always wanted kids, just didn’t want to settle down for a while and was waiting for the right woman.

It likely helped that he is a teacher, so he was like the baby/kid whisperer.  He could get the kids to do anything while they raised holy terror for my friend.  She was soooo jealous!  I think his age and being around kids for so long as a teacher really prepared him well for kids.  He also takes great care of his health–gets exercise and isn’t overweight, doesn’t have health problems that keeps him from being able to keep up with them.

Post # 18
Member
1574 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I was just talking about this the other day. Older Dads usually are FANTASTIC fathers! They have already gotten their “ya yas” out, and are mature enough to be actively involved in virtually every aspect of child-rearing. Now I’m not saying that younger Dads do not love their kids or are not involved, but it seems to me that younger Dads seems to expect the woman to do the bulk of the child-rearing and older Dads seems so into their kids!

Post # 19
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
@jjmomma:  I wasnt saying someone couldnt or shouldnt but if you read  the whole sentence in context, this man doesnt eat or exercise, which are causes for his weight. Not that the weight in itself was the problem, but his general habits which are not particuarly healthy which will affect energy and health as he ages another 20 years. 

Post # 20
Member
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

View original reply
@ThreeMeers:  I know… I almost didn’t reply b/c I know it’s sensitive issue for me.  I am worried about my husband’s future health and how it will affect our family, but I wouldn’t not (exhausted grammar) have my children with him based on it.  But I hear what you’re saying.

Post # 21
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I turned 38 today and Fiance (then to be DH) will be 41 in November. I don’t want to even think about trying until next spring at the earliest so if we are very lucky we will be 39 & 42 respectively when baby #1 comes along. I want some time to us as newly weds – we had a rocky relationship to start, and a lot of stressors in the last year so I need some good calm married time under my belt before bringing a baby into the mix. If it happens, yay, if not we’ll have more disposable income, but we would both really like to be parents. On our comfort lecel though.

Post # 22
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It just depends on the health of the parent and I don’t think waiting 2 more years will change that much for your situation.

My dad had his first child at 47. He was just about to turn 54 when I was born. I’m 26 now, he’ll be 81 in another month and he went ziplining last week. He has been a great dad.

Post # 23
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

My Dad was 40 (and my mom 39) when they had my sisters (twins!), and was/is a wonderful father. He is a pretty active person who was always going camping with us, playing catch, working on the yard, etc, in addition to being a complete workaholic lol. I think as long as your husband is willing to put out the effort, it doesn’t matter that he will be 40. As for the health aspect, my dad has been obese his entire life, but whether he had us at 30 or 50 that part of him would have been there.

 

I hope that wasn’t too rambly, lol. 🙂 Good luck to you!

Post # 24
Member
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My sister is in her early 30s, her husband is in his 60s.  She has two beautiful children, and while it took awhile to adjust, he is a wonderful father and their kids are incredibly happy. By The Way, he does not act or look 60 AT ALL. 

But, having children that late has affected him.  He knows he wont be around much longer, and the fact is he probably wont be around to walk his daughter down the aisle. 

So be aware of that. Because thinking about my neices losing their father at a young age terrifies me.  And i know it had caused him to work less to spend time with them while he is here. 

Post # 25
Member
5427 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t think biologically there’s anything wrong with a man having kids at a late age, it’s women who have time limits. As for emotionally, and physically able to care for teenage children at the 60 year plus age, that’s a different ball game! 

Post # 26
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Did I write this post in my sleep? Smile

I’ve also had these concerns about older fathers and children, I’m 25 and Fiance is about to turn 35. If things go as planned we won’t be trying for kids until he’s 37. It would be the first kid for both of us. After reading these posts I think we’re going to be just fine.

Post # 27
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

His age won’t be a real factor. A good Dad doesn’t have to run and jump and wrestle around, young Dads don’t even do that stuff nowadays. Actually the children of older parents that I went to school with seem so successful and balanced. Their parents put the proper attention and care in, they had well established roots. Pretty sure I would have preferred older parents that weren’t trying to find their way in the world when they were supposed to be helping me find my way. My friends that have lost their Dads already have the most beautiful memories. I think that is more important than just having a young Dad.

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