First time moms who are also stepmoms– how did you introduce new baby?

posted 3 months ago in Parenting
Post # 2
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

How old is your step child? 

Post # 3
Member
2901 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

How old is he? Two or three? Remember that pretty much every little kid gets mad if someome is trying to steal their toy. Heck, if someone I barely knew was looking at my phone (which is just an adult’s toy), I’d get mad just like he did! So don’t worry too much about the effects of his years as an only child. The oldest sibling in every family went through that. Getting attention all the time is good for the young child’s development, so just remember that everything has been normal and great in his life so far. He’s a normal kid who is about to undergo a huge change, and he will adjust soon enough after he meets baby!

There are a TON of kids books on “I’m becoming a big brother!” type of topics. Read him those to help prepare him. And here’s a good link for you: https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/prenatal/Pages/Preparing-Your-Family-for-a-New-Baby.aspx

Good luck! It’s going to be tough for awhile, but it sounds like you’re doing a great job. He will adjust, just as every older sibling does. I think if you and your husband make alone time with him part of the daily routine, it will help a lot. So for example, your husband can give him a bath every night, and there’s no baby allowed. And you can read him a book every night before bed, or do a little activity with him once baby is asleep.

Post # 5
Member
2901 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

fromatoz :  Ok, so the child can basically understand everything you’re telling them about what’s going on. Like I said, get some children’s books on becoming a big sibling and read those every night. 

When you’re buying things for the baby, include the child as much as possible. Discussing baby names, picking out clothes, etc. For example when you’re at Target, pick out two onesies and ask the child which one they think baby will like best. Giving those choices and including them in conversations will help him/her feel more involved. 

Try to figure out what the routine will be like once baby gets here. Is your husband going to be in charge of bathtime, bedtime, and the one getting them up for school in the morning? If so, try to transition to that now. If right now you’re the one who wakes them up and gets them dressed for school, but you won’t be after baby comes, it’s going to be yet another part of their routine that’s disrupted.

Post # 7
Member
1884 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I have around going through this now. They have a blended family,  his7 and9 years old and her 6 year old.  They’ve been married a year now and they are expecting in August.  It’s been a struggle and the kids weren’t crazy excited,  but both if them have been talking excitedly about the baby and involved the kids in things,  like the gender reveal.  I guess it’s turning around.  I saw the 7 year old ask his step mom if he could hug the baby , she agree and he very gently hugged her belly. It was so sweet. 

I think it was harder for the 6 year old. She’s used to being spoiled more and she didnt get on board until they found out it was a boy so she would continue being the only girl. 

If He were younger,  I’d suggest Daniel tiger’s neighborhood season 2 onward when he gets a little sister. Maybe fonder TV showbthatbintegrates a younger sibling. 

Post # 8
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

You treat them like your own child and involve them as much as possible. Make them feel like being the big brother is a really important role and that the baby is super lucky.  Also, I don’t mean to be nitpick but you referred to his mom as his “biomom” which technically is true, but she is just his mom. If you have a decent enough relationship with her, maybe ask her how you think he could feel more included. He’s just a kid that has gone through a lot of changes (probably a lot of negative ones). This change could be positive or negative for him, but a lot will depend on how you, Darling Husband, and his mom frame it.

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