Post # 31
It really is hard to let go of the details, especially if you’re normally meticulous and a planner. But you do have to- weddings involve SO much, it’s nearly impossible to do it alone.
As other posters have said, at some point during this wedding planning process, you’ll just be happy all those decisions are someone else’s to make, and that someone else is very graciously paying for it, too. I knew absolutely nothing about my shower and know absolutely nothing about my upcoming bachelorette, and it’s *wonderful*.
That being said, I would also be sad having my rehearsal dinner at a school gym. At-home backyard rehearsal dinners are lovely without being pricey, pretty common these days, and you want it to contrast with your wedding day style anyway. I don’t think a half hour drive is a huge deal.
Post # 32
This is 30 minutes in the opposite direction of where most of our family and wedding party live. A lot of people involved are already driving upwards of an hour to get to the venue to rehearse, which is why I was concerned about asking them to drive an additional 30 minutes out of their way.
I disagree that I’m being unreasonable with that. If most people lived within 10-15 minutes of our wedding venue, I would have no problems with Future Mother-In-Law hosting at her home.
Post # 33
I feel you on the micromanaging, that’s normally where I’d be. I can’t because I am out of the country and need to rely on my family to plan, and at first it drove me nuts. The thing that really helped me let go of the micromanaging was starting by reading articles on offbeatbride.com and apracticalwedding.com about these issues. Although offbeatbride has some really different weddings and things I don’t like, both are very good at putting wedding planning into perspective. Look up the article on “tacky.”
I shared it with others who were planning with me. I made a Pinterest board for “feels”- not emotions- but to put together a general picture of what I wanted, an then I trusted everyone hired or who was helping to get the ideas I wanted. My mom is doing most of the planning, and she understood I wanted a nighttime wedding outdoors, with lots of lights. My designer saw I wanted a mix of east and west with colorful details. My MUA understood I wanted natural glow. Everyone got it, and by not dictating too much, the professionals and family members who are professionals, were able to come up with things that exactly suit us, without me having to control or dictate it all and, as a result, most of it is better than what I had planned in my head.
it’s easy to say relax, it’s another thing to do it. I find I have to make a conscious effort, but i and my family are much happier as a result.
Post # 34
Another thing that might help: have your Fiance be the point person for communicating about the wedding with his family. You guys can discuss ideas together and he can relay them back to his folks. That way you won’t be the evil bridezilla making demands.