Post # 1
Hi all –
Just asking a favor for moms who are pregnant for the first time after 35 for a friend. She’s single and 34, turning 35 and believes she’ll never have the chance at a baby. I believe there’s tons of moms that have/had healthy first time pregnancies over 35 Please only those having your first child (as she believes that it’s easier to have your second older if you have one already).
Just a story of your experience, how old you were and how long it took to conceive? Thanks!!
Post # 3
**crickets** I’m sure there’s some of you ladies out there! Or even ladies with friends who conceived their first after 35?
Post # 4
Well I don’t have my own personal story (I might in 5 years!) but my mom had my baby brother at 35. He was an oops, after trying for 4 years my folks gave up and decided 2 kids was fine. I don’t know the specifics (thankfulyl!) but they were using condoms at the time and neither her or my brother had any medical issues.
I know a ton of people who concicved at 35, including a good friend who used a sperm donor and artifical inseminatiom and on her 1st “try” she got pregnant w/ a little girl who is now 7 1/2.
Post # 5
My sister-in-law has an adorable 4 year old that she got pregnant with at 35. She’s trying to have her second kid now at 40 and has been told that even with in vitro, she has a 15% chance at ever conceiving, and a very high risk of abnormalities due to the condition her eggs are in.
35 is awesome, but I wouldnt depend on luck much past that…..
Post # 6
I got pregnant at 34 on the first try. I am now 35 years old and 37 weeks pregnant with a healthy boy. We’ve had no complications and lots of my friends are in the same situation. In fact, my best friend is 37 and having her first.
Post # 7
@MissMeowMeow: hi! you seem sweet to want to reassure your friend.
reassurance is great. there are lots of women on this board who are 35 + and have conceived.
in my husband’s family there have been several 35+ conceptions, and at the workplace.( these were second time moms, but i really dont think it makes a difference. )so of course she should have hope!!
*however* i would say that your friend is not being crazy.
maybe a little catastrophizing (of course she shouldn’t say that she will NEVER have a chance at a baby!)
but I do think our society gives women the message far too often that you can ‘have it all’–that you can conceive at 35, or 37, or 40 with no problem.
unfortunately.. .there often are problems. i am 31 and it looks like i have ‘diminished ovarian reserve’. what I was told is that my eggs look more like a 36 or 37 year old. my doctor isn’t saying that that means I can never conceive, but I am certainly having infertility issues.
i guess what I am saying is that the average 36 year old woman is going to take longer to concieve and have more issues than the average 26 yo woman.
so. . .maybe the best thing you can do for your friend is set her up on lots of dates with great guys!! because i do think that the sooner she finds the right guy, the better chance she has of having her own child.
i *know* this is not a popular message but it’s one that I really think women should not shy away from.
Post # 8
I was 40 when I gave birth to my son (first pregnanacy) last year. I did have a hard pregnancy, however, it wasn’t really attributed to my age. I also had an HSG before I concieved (test resuslts were no blockage, but I got pregnant the next month, so I think it might have had some impact).
I wish your friend luck, has she talked to her doc yet- is there any medical reason she thinks it will be harder for her?
Post # 9
My mum had me at 38 and two of my colleagues had babies at 38 also! The only thing I would say is that the risk of Down’s Syndrome increases markedly at 35 so that is something to be aware of.
Post # 10
I’m 37 years old, now 30 weeks along with my first baby. Conceived at 36 and my Darling Husband was 42. We got pregnant on our first cycle of trying.
I’d encourage people to be aware of potential problems, but being older certainly doesn’t mean you’re doomed to need reproductive help. I’ve had friends in their 20s who did nearly a year of Clomid before getting pregnant. There are just so many factors that play into fertility.
Post # 11
My FI’s cousin had her first pregnancy at 38, however it did take them about a year to get pregnant. Her daughter is happy, healthy and very bright. They have not had success conceiving a second time (when she was 42).
Post # 12
@MissMeowMeow: I’m under 35, but I would assure your friend that she is so definitely not too old. I know a LOT of people, including 2 of my sisters-in-law, my cousin, and my good friend, who had their first pregnancies after age 35. Unless she has some independent fertility problem, she should not worry!
Post # 13
Two of my aunts gave birth to their first children last year at 48 and 44, respectively.
The 48 year old used donor eggs and her SO’s sperm and they had twins. The babies spent a few weeks in the NICU but are healthy now.
The 44 year old also used in vitro but with her own eggs and my uncle’s sperm that had previously been frozen. She got pregnant right away and gave birth to a healthy full term baby boy.
Post # 14
I had my first child at age of 37 and we are talking about adding another little one soon and I will be 40 this year… Little boy was an opps so I can’t answer your pole.
Post # 15
I started trying to conceive when I was 34 and conceived about 2 months after turning 35 and am now almost 17 weeks pregnant. It took us about 11 months to conceive. I really hope your friend can keep her hopes up! I recommend the book The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant–it puts the whole “Pregnant after 35” thing into perspective and I think it’ll give her hope. I feel for your friend and wish her all the best!
Post # 16
Honestly people in their 30s having their first is becoming more and more common. I’m 37 and pregnant with my first. Conceived on the first try despite having PCOS, being plus sized and “old”… even the genetisist told me they frequently see people in their 30+ having babies and by her standards, 37 is not old.
So far my pregnancy’s been great! My sister had her first at my age and second at 40. Both easy births with healthy babies. I have no regrets waiting this long. I did everything i wanted in life and am ready financially and emotionally to give 100% to my baby. And I will likely try to have another.
I was prepared for it to be a long, difficult journey. But knock on wood… things are going great!