Post # 1
My husband and I are TTC and we were not successful this first time as I just got my period today. I know all of the statistics surrounding this, but I’m just trying to figure out what could’ve gone wrong as I really want to conceive within the next two months. I listed some facts and questions below so any advice/help/best practices you can share would be so appreciated to implement for this next round
– I’m 29 and he’s 38
– I have a regular 25/26 day cycle (some months it’s 25 days and my period has also started on day 27 occasionally)
– According to the tracking apps I used, I most likly ovulated on 1/3. During our fertile window, we had sex on the 1st, 2nd and morning of the 4th (day after ovulation).
– After sex, I made sure to lay down for 30 mins
– Does it matter what time of day you have sex?
– Is having sex every other day better than every day?
– Has anyone had better luck by using ovulation sticks? Another method?
– I’ve read about those lubes that help the sperm. Is it worth trying that?
– Anything extra your men have done on their end that’s seemed to help (or have they cut certain things out of their routine/lifestyle)?
– Because I wasn’t sure if I was going to be pregnant, I stopped drinking coffee and didn’t have any alcohol while TTC. Since I’m not pregnant, is it safe to resume drinking coffee and drinking socially while I’m on my period/not fertile (like a few glasses of wine)? Does this affect fertility when you do become fertile after your period?
Post # 2
– Some say yes, others say no. Either way sperm can live for up to 5 days so if one day has lower sperm quality, there should still be other sperm hanging around. As far as I know, studies haven’t shown a significant difference in men with normal sperm.
– You should be temping and charting your cycles. OPKs definitely help as well. Have you confirmed you’re ovulating?
– I never tried any, but lots of bees use PreSeed.
– Have you talked to a doctor about potentially doing a semen analysis on DH? Does he have any reason to believe he might have sperm quality issues?
I would definitely start temping and charting if you’re not. It’s the only way to get some concrete information about your cycle without lots of medical tests.
Post # 3
I would highly recommend not relying on an app to tell you when you ovulate. Invest in OPKs to get a solid idea of when your LH surge is; had I relied on my app when we were trying we never would have had sex at the right time.
Post # 4
You can’t confirm ovulation with just an app that’s making a best guess. You’ll need to temp or do OPKs to really confirm when you ovulate so you don’t miss your window!
-Someone who spent months using the best guess of an app.
Post # 5
MsPlucky : I’ve charted my cycles for the last 6 years, but what do you mean by “have you confirmed you’re ovulating?” Darling Husband doesn’t have any reason to believe he has sperm quality issues but do people usually do a semen analysis when they’re serious about TTC? I wonder if those drug store tests are any good.
Post # 6
AORiver15 : slomotion : Thanks! I think it’s probably worth trying both methods for next time then.
Post # 7
MsPlucky : AORiver15 : slomotion : Thank you all! I do have another question – because I wasn’t sure if I was going to be pregnant, I stopped drinking coffee (so hard) and didn’t have any alcohol. Is it safe to resume drinking coffee and drinking socially when I’m not fertile/on my period (like a few glasses of wine)? Does this affect fertility when you do become fertile after your period?
Post # 8
iamdre : You’re tracking your period. Charting your cycle is tracking your cervical mucus, cervical position, resting temperature every morning, days of bleeding – are the important factors. Cervical position doesn’t have to be done, but it can help.
Your body has a temperature rise after an egg is released. This temperature rise signals that your body is indeed ovulating.
Your period tracker only tracks the days you enter for bleeding and then guesstimates based on an average cycle of 28 days, with an average LP of 14 Days, that you *should* be ovulating on cycle day 14, assuming you’re ovulating at all. Most women don’t have the “average cycle” of 28 days with an LP of 14 days. All you’re doing is keeping track of where in the month you had a period.
Ovulation is much more complicated than that. And until you can confirm that 1) you’re actually ovulating and 2) when you’re ovulating, you could be missing your fertile window all together.
OPKs will tell you when the LH hormone in your body, the one responsible for releasing an egg, is surging and increasing. You could get an LH surge but not release an egg. The part that confirms an egg has been released is the temperature shift.
Buy the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It’s a really important read for learning this stuff.
Post # 9
iamdre : “Drink till it’s pink” is what a lot of people do. So they indulge in whatever until they get a positive.
Post # 10
iamdre : Unless you’re drinking copious amounts, a few glasses/cups won’t mess with your fertility. A lot of people are drink til it’s pink, still others feel comfortable drinking coffee throughout pregnancy. 200mg of caffeine is considered safe during pregnancy, so a cup or two shouldn’t hurt anything.
Some ladies stop drinking coffee and alcohol during their two week window after ovulation before the next period – others don’t.
It’s really a personal choice. But social drinking of coffee or alcohol shouldn’t affect anything.
Post # 11
MsPlucky : This was so well explained.
What she said, OP.
Post # 12
MsPlucky : This is so helpful! Thank you so much. Now I understand why both OPKs and taking your temp together are important. I’ll definiely look into the book.
Post # 13
Read the board about the trifecta to get pregnant.
Preseed lube, menstrual cup and mucinex. Worked for me on the second cycle. Unfortunately that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, but were on our second cycle trying again now and I have high hopes!
GOOD LUCK XX
Post # 14
slomotion : I have my moments!
Unfortunately, there was not a moment at my midwife appointment today when she started talking about labor and I totally spaced and was like “I’m doing that?” To which she replied, “Well, you’re the one 36 weeks pregnant.” 🤭😑
iamdre : You’re welcome. Feel free to ask questions and join all the TTC boards, lots of ladies to help. Soooo much information, they’re amazing that lot!
Post # 15
a few things. first, if you have a 25 day cycle, it’s very unlikely you are ovulating on day 14 as the apps generally default to. I have 25-26 day cycles and I ovulate anywhere from day 8-11. Based on that, it’s very likely you’re missing ovulation if you are only having sex in the few days before the app estimates your ovulation. I used the clear blue Advanced digital OPKS to determine what my real fertile window is (for me, usually day 7-12). I would start having sex every other day from when your period is over for 2 weeks afterwards if you don’t use any method to determine when you ovulate (temping/OPK)
second, you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself saying you hope to conceive in the next few cycles. Statistically it is unlikely to happen that quickly.
It is absolutely safe to keep drinking coffee and alcohol during your fertile window. It is up to you but I still drink coffee in the TWW. Honestly when you’ve been TTC for 2 years, it doesn’t really make sense to give up on certain things.
I also use preseed. It works as a lube but hasn’t helped me get pregnant. That being said, it is certainly not hurting. Most lubricants will kill sperm so I’d opt for that over any one brand if you use lube.