(Closed) First timer needs advice (Possible TMI) – How far is too far in…?

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

(warning graphic) I’m 5′ 5″, 130lbs and for me, most guys can fit “all the way in”. Often the last inch or so can be a hard push, but I’ve never know less than 3/4 to be insertable. I think maybe you had an intact hymen that you ruptured causing the bleeding? Can you insert tampons easily? How deep can you insert your fingers? You should be able to get one or two finger all the way in, I would think. If not, you might be really tiny. Or your guy may be extra, extra large? Have you seen a gyno? I’m sure they can help if you are really worried. Also, and, this may be out of your comfort zone, but I think if you watch a couple of “dirty clips” on the internet, you may get an excellent idea of what “sex usually looks like”. 

Post # 4
2669 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Alright, I’ll bite.


1) How far in? This is completely dependent on the two of you and your comparative measurements. Basically, he goes in as far as he can until he hits a barrier or hurts you. I’m assuming from your words that he is your first. It may take some time for your body to adjust to the act especially since you say he’s well endowed. As long as there isn’t any pain involved, keep practicing. Use lube; coconut oil is great unless you’re using condoms.


2) Experienced blood after sex? Yes but not like what you’re describing. Make sure to tell your gyno everything. The doctor’s office is no place to be embarrassed.

Post # 5
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I never really noticed how deep he went in… Essentially if it starts hurting I let him know and he stops or readjusts. But sex for us was awkward at first. We were 20 when we first had sex, and that was in his college dorm… But the bed was put on stilts so it ahead space for a desk underneath, so it was like a bunk bed… But not overly secure. Plus the bed knocked against the wall, and the room next door was the RA. So it was awkward, slow, and honestly not that good. The following year when he moved into an off campus apartment we were able to actually have sex and have it be good. So I’m thinking we got the awkward how do we do this how do we position how deep does he go, etc out of the way when we were so limited because of his dorm bed. If something hurts then stop ASAP. As was stated the bleeding may have been your hymen still intact… I used tampons from the age of 13, and mine didn’t break until one of the first few times we had sex in his of campus apartment. It also didn’t just bleed the one time, but two or three times in a row that we had sex.

Post # 7
437 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

You probably just bumped your cervix around for the first time ever, and tore some tissue and it bled. Of course keep your appointment with your gyno, but I wouldnt freak out! 🙂

Post # 8
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@kendra389:  I’mthinking something like this too.

It can’t go in farther than it should.  It’s not going to end up in your throat 😉 Don’t worry.  If he puts it in, he can only get to your cervix, he can’t get any farther.  If the bleeding is excessive (still bleeding the next few days) go check it out.  If not, just keep ‘practicing’, and one day it will fit just fine!

Post # 9
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@VintageRomance:  I had almost the same problem when Fiance and I started having sex. He is also very large and was causing discomfort and bleeding. I went to my gyno and it turns out he was hitting my cervix and causing me to bleed. Doc suggested lots of lube and foreplay to get my body ready and we didn’t have this issue for long. Your body will adjust, and now Fiance fits all the way in, no problem. Your cervix will pull up and make more room when you’re aroused so relax and spend time getting yourself in the mood before he puts it in. Good luck!

Post # 10
1481 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I’ve had a similar issue with my SO because I was celibate for 14 months before we finally did the deed. He’s also well endowed. It took probably 1-2 weeks of trying at least once a day for me to get comfortable enough for him to go all the way in. Another problem we have is that I don’t produce a lot of lubrication naturally, so we use spit or KY lube EVERY TIME we have sex. And tbh, it still sometimes hurts if we start having sex before I’m warmed up or if it’s during a certain time of the month where he hits my cervix. Make sure you’re either super duper turned on, have just had an orgasm, or use lube during this initial period and possibly later on too if you find you need/want it. I have experienced some bleeding but never enough to be compared to AF, definitely talk to your gyno and like PP said the doctor’s office is no place to be embarrassed!


Sex is a beautiful thing, but it’s definitely hard work for us girls! Guys have it too easy IMO lol.

Post # 11
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

i was thinking the hymen thing as the PP mentioned but yes maybe its hitting your cervix but i would still check in with your GYN to be safe. yes make sure you are relaxed and breath, not stiff and holding your breath in, this could help alot

Post # 12
3507 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m a nurse and if your case presented to me my first thought would be that your cervix was being hit during sex causing it to bleed.

I’d still go see the gyno to be sure.



Post # 14
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree with the PPs regarding either him hitting your cervix or your hymen breaking.

Darling Husband goes “all the way in” when we have sex.  Maybe it would be easier (and more comfortable) for you to use some lube.

Post # 16
676 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@VintageRomance:  All the way in hurts. He is maybe 6″ so average size but it hurts if its all in no matter the position. I do have a tilted uterus and cervix, so that is probably the issue. Have you been checked out by the doctor?

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