(Closed) First Wedding Criticism-How do you handle criticism regarding your big day?

posted 9 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Just shake it off.

Seriously I know that you are putting your heart and soul into making this a great event and when people say negative things it is just so hurtful! I try to find something comical about the situation if I can. (Like why is this person you hardly know looking you up online – obviously they don’t have a life!)

For something like this my typical response would be something like – Oh I am so glad that you found it and yes we are working on getting information put up but I am so busy with projects X Y and Z that I haven’t finished the website yet! But check back in couple of weeks and let me know what you think then. 

Post # 4
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Your caterer and florist information absolutely should NOT be on your wedding website before your wedding.  If you’d like to add reviews after your wedding or start a knot bio, that’s totally fine.

There was an article in the NYTimes about exes who found out details about their former partners’ wedding plans and called all of the vendors to cancel their plans: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/10/fashion/weddings/10field.html .  Even if there are no crazy exes in your past, that kind of information is not nearly as interesting to your (sane) guests as stories about how you met, pictures of the two of you and logistical details for guests.

 Anyone who would complain about this is completely nuts (and totally wrong).  This is a wedding website, not a knot bio or vendor review. 

 

 

 

 

Post # 5
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2009 - Cathedral of the Sacred Heart & The Jefferson Hotel

I am really at the point where sometimes I just sit and repeat to myself "you can’t please everyone, you can’t please everyone" and its the truth! If you overloaded info, someone would say you were obsessing. You just can’t win. If you are happy with it though, just roll with it 🙂 And tell them to get over themselves!

Post # 6
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I tell people who feel compelled to offer their opinions, "When you get married, you can do it any way you want." But people will always give you their opinion whether you ask for it or not.  Don’t worry about it.  Be strong.  Do what you want.  It’ll be fine.

Post # 7
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I’ve never seen a wedding website with vendor info on it, besides the venue of course. Tell her to shove it.

Post # 8
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Aw, I know how you feel, and I hate to sound like a Debbie Downer, but it’s very possible this is really only the beginning.  I know that sounds really negative, but what I’m trying to say is that we all go through it, and some of us get to hear it the whole way through (and beyond if you have inlaws like mine!), so we can all sympathize and have all had to figure out our own ways of dealing with it.  In time, you’ll figure out how to shake it off.  If nothing else, come here and lean on all of us!

Post # 9
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Some people are just rude. When my cousin asked what my colors are and I told her pink and blue (actually navy), she said loudly and very critically, "What do you want? A baby shower!"

Like the others said brush it off.

 

Post # 10
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Well…that’s one less person on your invite list! lol

Post # 11
Member
23 posts
Newbee

So sorry to hear you’re going through this so early on!  I know I spent a ton of time on my wedding website, and if I found out a guest was criticizing it, I’d be hurt.  That being said, I echo the other comments – no vendor info! 

If you’re doing anything unique, trendy, personalized, etc., you’re going to get criticism from someone.  Things that I’ve heard include "too trendy" (cupcakes),  "never done" (DJ who’s a friend, without a contract), and my favorite, "too whorish" (red shoes). 

Yay for Weddingbee!  it’s a great space to bounce ideas off of other brides and see if you’re on target.  Sounds like you’ll be just fine.

Post # 12
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

During our wedding planning process, I handled criticism in one of two ways…

If the criticizer was a close friend/family member, I would actually explain the reasoning behind my decision.  I know I didn’t have to, but their opinions are important to me, so I wanted them to be onboard with everything.  Most of the time, after I explained the decision, their responses were along the lines of, "Oh!  I didn’t think of it that way.  That makes sense!"

However, if the criticizer was someone I didn’t know that well, I’d shrug their comments off or say, "Well, Fiance and I thought about it, and we think doing XYZ is best for us."

At the end of the day, keep in mind that it’s YOUR wedding, and just because someone has opinions doesn’t make him/her correct!

 

Post # 13
Member
2404 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i agree with all comments above and also that i’ve never heard of including vendor info on a wedding website, besides the venue. its true, you can’t please everyone and just take comments like that and let them "go!" (and vent to us of course  )

Post # 14
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2007

The above posters are right on! Don’t include vendor info – it’s really not necessary. And I’m going to second West Coast Bride – unfortunately, this is only the beginning. The best way to handle these comments is to smile, and let the critic know that this was the best decision for you and your FH. Period. Everyone LOVES to offer their opinion, even when it’s not asked, and this is prime time to do it!

You can’t please everyone, and the only people who count are you and your FH. As long as you’re happy with the end result, then that’s all that matters!

Post # 15
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

brush it off, girl!

Its YOUR day!….no one else can take that away from you!

Post # 16
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

*HUGS* Sorry you’re feeling hurt. If it makes you feel any better, I think it’s totally stupid that she expects you to have your vendor information up there. Like, WHAT?

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