(Closed) first wedding drama

posted 11 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5988 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i think you should be glad your friend loves you enough to be honest and upfront with her feelings about this and embrace her as the good friend that she is – it takes alot of guts to disappoint someone and be honest about it.

ive read many stories of bm breakups so i hope this means longterm your friendship will continue

goodluck!

Post # 4
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Aw, don’t ask her to reconsider, but maybe drop her a line to see if you can still be friends. Perhaps (no offense here!) but because you said you were Type A and wanting to be in control, she was worried about the expectations you may have about the wedding and not meeting them.

Also, our numbers won’t match. No problem at all doing that!

Post # 5
Member
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think that your friend handled this very well. Instead of you having a Bridesmaid or Best Man who really did not have the time or energy or money to commit to you, she let you know up front.

 

Having uneven number is perfectly acceptable.

 

I would consider myself lucky if I were you.

Post # 7
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Don’t look at this as a friend breakup at all. Don’t treat her differently, don’t think less of her. Speaking as someone who is under a ridiculous about of Not Wedding Related stress, and really has a strong appreciation for no-BS honesty, if being a Bridesmaid or Best Man is going to be stressful for her at this point in her life, she did the right thing for everyone involved to back out right away.

Post # 8
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

yeah nothing is worse than a Bridesmaid or Best Man that is too busy to fit in the wedding. I was recently a Maid/Matron of Honor for my best friend and the Bridesmaid or Best Man was to busy to help with anything. I organised and spent heaps of money on the Hens night and she did nothing. I org for her to get her dress altered and then she left the Wedding Reception B$ the Bridal dance. Argh me and the Bride wish she had justy said no from the start.

Post # 9
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I agree with the others.  Be thankful she was honest with you. I wish I had been honest to a very close friend of mine and declined to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man in her wedding.  I love this girl to death, but being part of a wedding (eventhough I wasn’t expected to do any planning) was not fun and exciting for me (which it really should be when your honored as a BM).  Unfortunately and very regrettably I think she could tell when the day came and we just haven’t been as close since.  So maybe her choice is saving your friendship rather than ending it.   And by the way, that is why im choosing to elope.      

Post # 10
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I wouldn’t worry too much about it – like the others said, be glad that she was upfront and honest with you!! I wouldn’t let it affect how I treat her – she’s still your friend!!

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