First wedding hang on

posted 2 months ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
345 posts
Helper bee

I recently broke up with my fiancé and I’ve kept all photos of us on social media. I don’t see myself deleting them, either. When I was younger, I deleted all traces of an ex, but now? It was a huge part of my past and made me who I am. Those pictures are still happy memories and I don’t want to erase part of my past to make someone feel less insecure.

Its never pleasant seeing reminders of an ex, but you need to accept that he has a past and it’s not up to you to decide what he hangs on to. I really don’t think anyone except you is going to go digging through posts from 10 years ago. 

Post # 32
Member
436 posts
Helper bee

I feel like it’s TOTALLY reasonable to ask him to take down old intimate photos of a past wife. TOTALLY.And whats concerning is that he refuses to. If it wasnt a big deal to him, and the photos didnt have meaning, and if he loved and respected you and your concerns, he should have no problem taking them down. He should be completely nderstanding especially if its something thats going to get in teh way of your trust in the relationship. annoying

Post # 33
Member
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

View original reply
@queenbre:  They DO have meaning.  His past, his memories, his life, lessons learned, happy times, bad times, ALL of these have meaning.  I have pictures of my ex on social media.  It does not mean I still love him, doesn’t mean I pine for him, doesn’t make me love my SO less.  Totally unreasonable for someone else to dictate what things have meaning and what don’t.

My SO had an ex that made him get rid of every gift an ex had given him.  He hid some things, she found them, got enraged, he had to toss most of it and the stuff he managed to save he mailed to his parents.  Completely abusive in my opinion and needless to say he broke up with her because of her insecurities

Post # 34
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee

 

View original reply
@nimielle24:  I would not be too worried about the photos. My fiance and I still have photos of our old relationships on Facebook and are not bothered about removing them. We accept that these people were once a part of our lives, so why try to erase the past? It does not mean that there are any feelings there. Are you more upset about the fact that people will look at these pictures and see that he has been married before, or are you upset that you think it is disrespectful to you to keep these pictures online? Perhaps it is not a big deal to him and he feels comfortable. I would almost prefer to know that my partner has those pictures on his profile, it shows that he is comfortable with his past and is not bitter or has anything to hide. But that is just me!

Post # 35
Member
449 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

This is CRAZY, of course you are not overreacting!

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